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What's the difference between Whoopi Goldberg and a bowling ball.... You could eat a bowling ball if you had too | |||
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| I'm not laughing WITH you  |
"Who ever stole my copy of MS Office I WILL find you. You have my Word"! Rolan Kraps SASS Regulator Gainesville, Georgia. NRA Range Safety Officer NRA Certified Instructor - Pistol / Personal Protection Inside the Home | |||
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| No ethanol! |
Why does Mike Tyson cry after sex? It's the mace... ------------------ The plural of anecdote is not data. -Frank Kotsonis | |||
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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef. | |||
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They're after my Lucky Charms! |
I went to the Air and Space museum. But there was nothing there! Lord, your ocean is so very large and my divos are so very f****d-up Dirt Sailors Unite! | |||
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| No More Mr. Nice Guy |
What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can make a vitamin. | |||
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Unhyphenated American |
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her. __________________________________________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. Richard M Nixon It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice. Billy Joe Shaver NRA Life Member | |||
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אַרְיֵה |
I never heard a vitamin. הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים | |||
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| Three Generations of Service  |
Oh. My. Gawd. Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. | |||
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Member |
What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with the light on. Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows. Benjamin Franklin | |||
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| אַרְיֵה |
If a light sleeper sleeps with the light on, does a hard sleeper sleep with ... the window open? הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים | |||
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I'm Different! |
-or- Don't pay her. “Agnostic, gun owning, conservative, college educated hillbilly” | |||
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Bad dog! |
What do you call Spongebob with 2 pairs of pants? Spongebob Sparepants What do you call Spongebob with a dirty mouth? Spongebob Swearpants What do you call Spongebob on Halloween? Spongebob Scarepants What do you call..... (You can do this all day....)  ______________________________________________________ "You get much farther with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone." | |||
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Drug Dealer |
Spongebob arrested SpongeBob not my pants When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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| On the wrong side of the Mobius strip  |
What is an example of horticulture? . . . You take her to the opera. | |||
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| אַרְיֵה |
You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think. הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים | |||
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I'll use the Red Key |
Harley and Vaseline Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition. He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. 'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family. 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.' 'No problem,' he says.. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Everywhere he looks dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. He leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too. Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table. She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down. His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still....Total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father shouts. Alright, I'll do the fuckin dishes!! Donald Trump is not a politician, he is a leader, politicians are a dime a dozen, leaders are priceless. | |||
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| Let's be careful out there |
Why didn't Natalie Wood shower on the yacht? She preferred to wash up on shore | |||
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| Member |
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 789. "Politics is to Philosophy as Engineering is to Science." | |||
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| Member |
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen If she's Japanese? Irene | |||
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