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| Member |
Q: What kind of wood doesn't float? A: Natalie. Q: What's gray and black and rolls around in the parking lot at McDonalds? A: Mr. T, fighting with a pigeon over a French fry! IBTL!  End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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delicately calloused |
How do you keep a moron in suspense? You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier | |||
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They're after my Lucky Charms! |
 Lord, your ocean is so very large and my divos are so very f****d-up Dirt Sailors Unite! | |||
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| Move Up or Move Over |
This may be an all time groaner... | |||
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| Member |
I have no idea why but some of these are cracking me up today. How do crazy people get through the forest? They take the psycho path. | |||
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Delusions of Adequacy |
Yeah, it was pretty fowl. If someone was a vegan pilot who did Crossfit, which one would they talk about first? I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm. | |||
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Unhyphenated American |
Guy in a diner. "This coffee tastes like mud". Waitress."Well, it was ground this morning". __________________________________________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. Richard M Nixon It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice. Billy Joe Shaver NRA Life Member | |||
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| Eating elephants one bite at a time  |
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Ig it had four it would be a sedan. | |||
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I'm Different! |
Same guy on the porch? Matt Same guy in a pile of leaves? Russel “Agnostic, gun owning, conservative, college educated hillbilly” | |||
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| Little ray of sunshine  |
Same guy hanging on the wall? Art. The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. | |||
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Member |
Did you hear about the gay gangs in San Francisco? There were seven drive by spankings last week. "Lion Heart is all heart, Smarty Jones is all out!!!" | |||
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| His diet consists of black coffee, and sarcasm.  |
 I hadn't heard that one before.Same guy in the bottom of a hole? Phil. | |||
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| Free men do not ask permission to bear arms  |
What do you get if you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic? . . . . . . . . . . . About half way. A gun in the hand is worth more than ten policemen on the phone. The American Revolution was carried out by a group of gun toting religious zealots. | |||
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Certified All Positions |
There are many, but my favorite of the "no arms no legs" is: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, in a pile of leaves? Russel. Arc. ______________________________ "Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash "I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM "You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP | |||
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| Three Generations of Service  |
Same guy, playing baseball? First Base. Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. | |||
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| Eating elephants one bite at a time |
Same guy in mailbox... Bill | |||
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Rule #1: Use enough gun |
Same guy behind a ski boat? Skip. When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. Luke 11:21 "Every nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." -- George W. Bush | |||
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| Member |
Same guy in the kitchen cabinet? Basil or Herb. Same guy in the ship channel? Boy. ********* "Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them". | |||
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| Member |
If I go to hell for lafffing at that, it will be worth it. -------------------------- Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. -- H L Mencken I always prefer reality when I can figure out what it is. -- JALLEN 10/18/18 | |||
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| Loves His Wife |
Bert and Ernie are sitting around bored to tears. Ernie says "Hey, lets play hide and seek" Bert: "Sounds good. I'll hide and if you can find me you can fuck me. If you can't I'll be in the closet". I am not BIPOLAR. I don't even like bears. | |||
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