SIGforum
Post your groaner of the day
March 01, 2017, 03:20 PM
YooperSigsPost your groaner of the day
Q: What kind of wood doesn't float?
A: Natalie.
Q: What's gray and black and rolls around in the parking lot at McDonalds?
A: Mr. T, fighting with a pigeon over a French fry!
IBTL!
End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
March 01, 2017, 03:47 PM
darthfusterHow do you keep a moron in suspense?
You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier March 01, 2017, 03:51 PM
IrishWind
Lord, your ocean is so very large and my divos are so very f****d-up
Dirt Sailors Unite!
March 01, 2017, 04:09 PM
mark_aquote:
Originally posted by Jim Shugart:
Q: What is another phrase for "the chicken crossing the road"?
A: Poultry in motion.
This may be an all time groaner...
March 01, 2017, 04:29 PM
WildSigI have no idea why but some of these are cracking me up today.
How do crazy people get through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
March 01, 2017, 04:30 PM
zoom6zoomquote:
Originally posted by mark_a:
quote:
Originally posted by Jim Shugart:
Q: What is another phrase for "the chicken crossing the road"?
A: Poultry in motion.
This may be an all time groaner...
Yeah, it was pretty fowl.
If someone was a vegan pilot who did Crossfit, which one would they talk about first?
I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm. March 01, 2017, 04:44 PM
Floyd D. BarberGuy in a diner. "This coffee tastes like mud".
Waitress."Well, it was ground this morning".
__________________________________________________________________________________
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon
It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver
NRA Life Member
March 01, 2017, 04:57 PM
ffipsWhy does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Ig it had four it would be a sedan.
March 01, 2017, 05:20 PM
mrbill345quote:
Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob
Same guy in a Lion cage? Claude
Same guy on the porch? Matt
Same guy in a pile of leaves? Russel
“Agnostic, gun owning, conservative, college educated hillbilly” March 01, 2017, 05:35 PM
jhe888quote:
Originally posted by mrbill345:
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob
Same guy in a Lion cage? Claude
Same guy on the porch? Matt
Same guy in a pile of leaves? Russel
Same guy hanging on the wall? Art.
The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. March 01, 2017, 05:39 PM
RoboVDid you hear about the gay gangs in San Francisco?
There were seven drive by spankings last week.
"Lion Heart is all heart, Smarty Jones is all out!!!"
March 01, 2017, 05:40 PM
egregorequote:
Same guy in a Lion cage? Claude
I hadn't heard that one before.
Same guy in the bottom of a hole? Phil.
March 01, 2017, 05:44 PM
George43What do you get if you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
About half way.
A gun in the hand is worth more than ten policemen on the phone.
The American Revolution was carried out by a group of gun toting religious zealots.
March 01, 2017, 05:58 PM
arcwelderquote:
Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob
Same guy in a Lion cage? Claude
Why can you never believe the king of the jungle? Because he's Lion
There are many, but my favorite of the "no arms no legs" is:
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, in a pile of leaves?
Russel.
Arc.
______________________________
"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman
Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM
"You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP
March 01, 2017, 06:14 PM
PHPaulSame guy, playing baseball?
First Base.
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
March 01, 2017, 06:23 PM
ffipsSame guy in mailbox... Bill
March 01, 2017, 06:31 PM
Bigboreshooterquote:
Originally posted by jhe888:
quote:
Originally posted by mrbill345:
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob
Same guy in a Lion cage? Claude
Same guy on the porch? Matt
Same guy in a pile of leaves? Russel
Same guy hanging on the wall? Art.
Same guy behind a ski boat? Skip.
When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. Luke 11:21
"Every nation in every region now has a decision to make.
Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." -- George W. Bush
March 01, 2017, 06:37 PM
GWbikerquote:
Originally posted by Bigboreshooter:
quote:
Originally posted by jhe888:
quote:
Originally posted by mrbill345:
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob
Same guy in a Lion cage? Claude
Same guy on the porch? Matt
Same guy in a pile of leaves? Russel
Same guy hanging on the wall? Art.
Same guy behind a ski boat? Skip.
Same guy in the kitchen cabinet? Basil or Herb.
Same guy in the ship channel? Boy.
*********
"Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them".
March 01, 2017, 06:40 PM
newtoSig765quote:
Originally posted by YooperSigs:
Q: What kind of wood doesn't float?
A: Natalie.
If I go to hell for lafffing at that, it will be worth it.
--------------------------
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
-- H L Mencken
I always prefer reality when I can figure out what it is.
-- JALLEN 10/18/18
March 01, 2017, 08:52 PM
BRLBert and Ernie are sitting around bored to tears.
Ernie says "Hey, lets play hide and seek"
Bert: "Sounds good. I'll hide and if you can find me you can fuck me. If you can't I'll be in the closet".
I am not BIPOLAR. I don't even like bears.