I wasn't a fan - never watched any of his shows or read any of his books, but I was aware of him. Mike Rowe posted a nice story about is encounters with Bourdain over on facebook. Even though they didn't agree on a lot of things, both of them, says Rowe, were two of the few who strive to present honest "reality" TV.

“Hello Darkness, My Old Friend”

On a hot night in 2005, after a long day of spelunking through the septic tanks of Wisconsin, I retired to my suite at the Motel 6, to wallow in the perks of my chosen profession.

First, there was the tepid shower, followed by another. Then, there was the tepid beer, followed by another. Then, I logged into the Dirty Jobs Mudroom, where I planned to chat with fans of my show while watching myself on television, (a narcissistic but mostly harmless habit that eventually got out of control and turned into this Facebook page.) But that’s another story.

On this particular evening, stretched out on a suspicious comforter held together with the DNA of previous guests, I stumbled across a smart-aleck on The Travel Channel eating fermented shark meat in Iceland, and telling his producer he’d be dead by morning. I had to laugh. Just a few hours earlier, I had been eating a fermented hoagie in an open sewer, and lodging a similar prediction with my own producer.

Naturally, I was intrigued by what appeared to be a kindred spirit, Forrest-Gumping his way around the world, pushing the bounds of non-fiction television. The show was called “No Reservations,” and no – I didn’t think it was better than Dirty Jobs. But I did think it was every bit as good, and the more I watched, the more I grew to appreciate this subversive chef’s naked contempt for all the fakery of traditional production. I loved the way he went out of his way be seen as a “traveler,” not a tourist. It reminded me of my own attempts to be seen as a “guest,” and not a host.

From that moment, I was a fan. I read his books, and enjoyed them all. But what I enjoyed even more was the way Tony pushed The Travel Channel into some very uncomfortable territory. It’s not that I think bad language and drinking on camera are cool or edgy; I don’t. But I loved the fact that Tony pushed the network to let the show evolve around his point of view, and his personality. In those days, that almost never happened. It’s still very rare, mostly because the shows are the property of the network, and the network almost always has an opinion about how their hosts should and shouldn’t behave. But Bourdain was his own man – a man on a mission to produce a show that was authentic to him. I admired that. I also admired the way he pushed back when his name and likeness were used to sell Cadillacs without his permission. https://bit.ly/2Jt0EWB He had integrity, and was unafraid to walk away from a steady gig when he believed he was in the right.

I think my favorite thing he ever did was an episode for Parts Unknown. Tony goes scuba diving for octopi in Sicily, with the help of a local producer. But when there are no octopi to be found on the sea floor, the producer starts dropping them off the side of the boat.

Imagine the scene. Bourdain is twenty feet down with his cameraman, when store-bought, frozen octopi begin to float slowly by. It’s absurd, but precisely what a typical producer in my industry would do to do “salvage” a scene. Bourdain however, is appalled, and does the only sensible thing he can - he drinks through the rest of the episode, heavily. Later, in voiceover, he reveals the botched attempt to fool the viewer by airing the raw footage. It's the most honest thing I’ve ever seen, in a genre that stages 95% of what it presents as real.

Full disclosure - I don’t know Tony well enough to eulogize him. We met a few times, here and there, shared a few drinks, and complemented each other on our respective careers. We disagreed on plenty, but we approached non-fiction television the same way. We both looked askance at rehearsals, scripts, executive oversight, and most of all, second takes. And we both tried to use our platforms to do more than entertain.

A few years ago, at an event in New York, we traded war stories over some better than average bourbon. I asked Tony about the warthog anus he ate in Namibia, and whether or not the subsequent antibiotics did the trick.

“Hard to know,” he said. “By then, I’d developed a kind of natural immunity. What about you? Still keeping the Hep-A at bay?”

“So far so good,” I said. “My problems these days are mostly with PETA.”

Tony laughed. “Don’t get me started. They’ve got a file on me the size of a phone book.”

We talked about the importance of showing people where their food comes from. He told me about the petition against CNN that arose when he removed the beating heart from a snake. I told him about the boycott against Discovery when I shot a cow and butchered it on camera. We talked about the difficulty of producing a truly authentic show with sponsors and advertisers and millions of viewers with competing agendas, and how grateful he was for the chance to deliver the show he wanted to deliver. I told him about the night I saw him choking down the fermented shark in Iceland, back in 2005, and asked him if he ever imagined a scene like that would lead to a Peabody Award. He told me that awards were nice, but never part of the plan.

“I was mostly trying to amuse myself,” he said. “I just wanted to do a show that I could be proud of.”

Yesterday, when I heard he’d hung himself, I thought about the first time I saw "No Reservations," while I was stretched out on that suspicious comforter in a Motel 6 outside Madison. I just found the clip on You Tube, and watched it again - this time from the comfort of a leather sofa, where the only DNA present was my own. I couldn’t help but notice the title of the episode - “Hello Darkness, My Old Friend.”

Old friends, it seems, have a way of reuniting.
Tragically, in this case.

My sympathies to his loved ones, and to his millions of fans trying to make sense of the inexplicable. His was a truly unique voice, and I'll be among those who miss it.

Mike

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:

quote:

Originally posted by mod29:
There is no doubt suicide takes a huge toll on the people that loved them.

Yes, there is no doubt about it, and I'd wager that you have experience with this, as have I.

I just do not find anger in myself against those who made the decision to leave this existence, no matter who they left behind or how deep or long-lasting the scar. Speaking in abstract terms, I am championing the individual and their inherent right to self-determination.

The guy managed 61 trips around the sun before he called it quits. That counts for something.

We come into this world kicking and screaming and it never stops until the grave. Forgive me for stating the obvious, but life is a struggle. Even though we who are now alive have the benefits and comforts of scientific knowledge and technology, it's a struggle to stay alive- in some form or another and to varying degrees- until we die. Some people just get tired of it.

Besides hosting a great firearms forum, I don't know you Para. But I have to say, thank you for a very succinct post about depression and the choice of suicide. It would seem you have first hand knowledge and if so, I am sorry for that. But your post is well done.

Watched his early shows but lately he seemed to come off as a snob. But suicide can only be a permanent answer to a smaller problem.

Lost a friend on a Friday, right after hearing the news about Bourdain so it really hits close to home. One of the guys at our local gun store...a young 24yo Army vet who was battling demons from his time overseas. We all were friends with him and knew he was struggling and tried to help (his Army buddies, too).

He had so many people who loved him and we're all still in shock, just two days later as I write this. This wasn't a spur of the moment decision....he apparently called a lot of people close to him in the day leading up to his decision.

I hope you're finally at peace, Henry. You're going to be missed.

#22aday

quote:

Originally posted by sns3guppy:
Marines are soldiers, and a lot of people are concerned about police and soldiers, living or dead.

I think I'll defer to one of our many USMC veterans on this one.

Sorry about Bourdain and the woman designer (Kate Spade) who also took her life this past week.

if nothing else I plan to be considerate ,

a close friend, a family member or children won't be happening on my lifeless remains.

I've got 8 paragraphs of "so long's and a simple reason to leave behind , have set aside a sum to pay for a wake , if anyone is interested, the music is done , am still working on the pictures for a slide show .

quote:

Originally posted by satch:
Watched his early shows but lately he seemed to come off as a snob. But suicide can only be a permanent answer to a smaller problem.

This is one of the standard responses to the idea of suicide- that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

OK, you've gone to the doctor and found out that you are terminally ill and that the manner of your death will be slow and incredibly painful/tortuous.

Tell me- how is that a "temporary" problem?

Studies have shown that pedophiles who molest children cannot be reformed. Let's say a man has been to prison twice for molestation. He knows he will again commit these crimes and he knows he will again be caught. He doesn't want to do this any more- doesn't want to harm any more children and he cannot face the idea of again going back to prison. There is one solution, though- suicide.

How is this a temporary problem?

In both of these cases, suicide equals freedom in the face of a hopeless existence. People need to stop speaking in clever-sounding platitudes. Such things do nothing to illuminate the truth of the matter, which is that sometimes, suicide is the only viable solution.

To people who say the same old stuff- "Suicide is not the answer," my standard response is that it all depends upon the question.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by rusbro:

“Hello Darkness, My Old Friend”

The first line of the song is fitting. very dark.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4

quote:

Originally posted by bendable:
if nothing else I plan to be considerate ,

a close friend, a family member or children won't be happening on my lifeless remains.

I've got 8 paragraphs of "so long's and a simple reason to leave behind , have set aside a sum to pay for a wake , if anyone is interested, the music is done , am still working on the pictures for a slide show .

That was my plan too. No mess to clean up. No doubt about my act to cast suspicion on my wife. No immediate drama for my kids to endure.

His suicide has affected me. It makes me sad. It makes me think. I had always enjoyed his shows. He had a unique talent and ability to make a true reality show, that educated and entertained. He was a great chef. I liked his perspective on life. He was unique. He was real and genuine. Nothing about him was fake. He was himself. I suspect his past and current life demons were what actually molded him to be the type of man he was. I didn't care what his politics were. That never entered my mind anytime I watched him. I'll miss him.

One of the worst aspects of my police career was the suicide deaths of high school (or younger) kids and the aftermath it created for the families. So much potential wasted, often for a trivial reason. The main thing I learned about suicide was that it leaves those behind haunted by questions they can never answer.
Want an example? We have seven pages on this topic. The only time I could envision ending my life would the diagnosis of a untreatable and terminal disease.

quote:

Originally posted by rusbro:
I think my favorite thing he ever did was an episode for Parts Unknown. Tony goes scuba diving for octopi in Sicily, with the help of a local producer. But when there are no octopi to be found on the sea floor, the producer starts dropping them off the side of the boat.

I remember that episode, it was hilarious and pathetic....and the final cut showed it all. Bourdain for some odd reason, of all the trips to Italy they've filmed in, I can only remember one really good episode: Emilia-Romana. All the rest: Rome, Florence, Sicily, Sardinia..just not very good. Surprisingly as his second wife and g/f are Italian.

quote:

Let’s talk about your worst travel experience, and the episode you shot in Sicily that literally put you over the edge and you quickly spiraled into a near hysterical depression.

The Sicily episode featured a trip to catch cuttlefish and octopus but ultimately turned out to be staged by the fisherman, with store bought dead seafood thrown into the water.

“We were supposed to go off with an artisanal octopus fisherman and obviously nothing living had ever been near the site in Sicily. It was heavily trafficked by tourists and pleasure boats. Something snapped in me, and a big mistake with the producer at the time, was he put me in a café to calm down until the next take and I began pounding negronis, 18 of them. I was blackout drunk for the next scene, which was good because the artisanal fisherman was going to take us back to his 'traditional' restaurant. I go back and it’s a square plate with a metal ring full of tuna tartar with an avocado on top and squeeze bottle designs. (As I saw later on film, because I don’t remember the scene at all.) It was a low point. I am snake bit as far as Sicily. You cannot make great TV in Sicily. It’s a fantastic location, the food is awesome, the people and everywhere you look is great, but for some reason both times I have made shows in Sicily everything has gone wrong.”

“It’s become a hideous, funny failure. But it wasn’t funny to me down there where those dead octopi were splashing down behind my head. I felt like I was speaking in manic, double speed for the next week. I couldn’t breathe, my crew was very concerned and there were some personnel changes afterwards. I'm still pissed about it. This is sort of a dangerous paradox about the shows over the years where the producers understand that when things go really, really badly, its comedy gold sometimes, but its not fun for me. I don’t go out there looking to make a funny show mocking this well-meaning but thoroughly corrupt fisherman who was just trying to make things entertaining.”

“I think I give up on shooting again in Sicily. Look, my wife is Italian, I love the country, I love Sicily, but I think if I went back and screwed up again it would break me. I don’t think I could bear it. I will go back for pleasure though.”

I was crushed when I heard this. I read his books before he became a TV sensation. His book "A Cook's Tour" was a revelation and inspiration. Since my cardiac diagnosis, I have been on a salt restricted diet. His writing guided me in ways to find ways to add a lot of flavor with the salt. I was fortunate enough to meet him and told him my story of his influence. He took the time to speak with me and give me advice. He was a great guy.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:

Studies have shown that pedophiles who molest children cannot be reformed.

I found it hard to believe that there was a truly hopeless depravity, so I checked:

"Estimates of recidivism vary because studies define this term in different ways. One review found recidivism rates of 10% to 50% among pedophiles previously convicted of sexual abuse, although this could include anything from an arrest for any offense to reconviction on a crime against a child. One long-term study of previously convicted pedophiles (with an average follow-up of 25 years) found that one-fourth of heterosexual pedophiles and one-half of homosexual or bisexual pedophiles went on to commit another sexual offense against children."

That is "very discouraging" but still not hopeless.
I don't see how anyone could regard suicide as anything other than "very negative" and to be avoided to the utmost of one's ability. All earthly problems are, technically, temporary.

Please don't drift this thread because you want to nitpick an example.

I see you're up early on a Monday, wasting no time missing my point, by focusing on an example and not the concept.

It's not my problem if you can't get your mind around the idea that sometimes suicide is the only viable solution. The pie-in-the-sky pretty talk by platitude-spouting people is a distraction from the truth. The truth isn't pretty in this instance, and that's just the way it is.

Ultimately, the matter of hopelessness is a reality for an individual. The rest of the world may not see it that way, but what matters is how the suicide sees it.

There's the matter of conscious choice, too, and It needs to be made clear that there are valid reasons there, that someone may elect to conclude their mortal travel.

Choosing suicide is done for many reasons, but it's important to at least try to understand, for those who don't, that it's something other than "the coward's way out." Anyone who's ever spent the long night looking down the barrel of their favorite .45 understands that very well.

It's not the easy way out by any stretch, and shouldn't be used to invalidate those who make that choice.

A cousin shot himself many years ago. His family was catholic, and was told that their boy would go to hell. He was denied burial. Imagine; a family has just experienced a nearly unbearable loss, and then to be told that. Over the years I've had friends, associates, co-workers, acquaintances, relatives, and others commit suicide. I don't recall it ever being easy for anyone.

In high school I had only a small circle of close friends, and we went to a firework display at the football field together one night. At the conclusion of the display, one of us, Greg, said he was going for a walk. In the morning, the sister of a friend, who worked at the local hospital, called to tell me they'd just brought Greg's body in. He left us, went into the hills behind the school, and shot himself.

Greg was troubled. A tortured soul. He had a lot of his plate, and whether the rest of the world saw it that way didn't matter. Greg did. I've often wondered how long he wrestled with that rifle before he shot himself, and I've beat myself up to this day for not recognizing it, and for not being there. Several decades ago now, and as I type this it mists my eyes. It was Greg's choice, though, not mine, not anyone else's, and his decision is final.

I'd much rather celebrate the way someone lived, than the way they died. Most of us have no choice in the way we die. We all die, and some choose to make it on their own terms. For some, it may cut short a life of promise, for others it may end a life of pain, for most it brings others pain, but death nearly always does. In the case of Bourdain, it's evident that a lot of people will miss what he offered and miss the person they'd come to know by his books, shows, etc.

I would hope that at a minimum these events open a dialogue for those considering the same action to reconsider, talk to someone, make the decisions they will ultimately make with the best information they can get. It's no easy answer and it's tough for everyone, including those who never knew the suicide. It's tough for all of us.

I have long been a fan of cooking shows, as I tinker about in the kitchen a bit.

Bourdain's programs were not cooking shows, even though food was a central component. I watched many of them, anyway.

There aren't (IMO) any good cooking shows broadcast these days. Oh sure, there are the "Giada" and "Rachael" and "Paula" shows, which more often than not are liable to make me gag over the hosts and nearly as much over their no-one-in-their-right-mind-would-cook-this-shit recipes, but I liked the shows like "Yan Can Cook" (at least the early years), "Aloha Hawaii," "The Frugal Gourmet" and the like, which would actually present the recipes and ingredients in a way that made it possible to try to recreate them.

Thus, I found Bourdain's shows a mix of social commentary accompanied by scenes of cooking and eating. Somehow, it worked. Yes, he was a leftist, but at least he did a show with Ted Nugent, and actually admitted he liked shooting guns.

I'm pretty sure someone will come along and try to fill the gap left by Bourdain, but it will take quite a personality to replace him.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
Please don't drift this thread because you want to nitpick an example.

I see you're up early on a Monday, wasting no time missing my point, by focusing on an example and not the concept.

It's not my problem if you can't get your mind around the idea that sometimes suicide is the only viable solution. The pie-in-the-sky pretty talk by platitude-spouting people is a distraction from the truth. The truth isn't pretty in this instance, and that's just the way it is.

I don't think I was nitpicking the example. The essence of your assertion was that there are "hopeless cases" that seem to justify suicide.
I gave your post the respect of actually checking on the fact you had asserted.
We simply disagree. That is the fact. Why is saying that suicide is negative any more "pie in the sky" that saying something inaccurate about pedophelia statistics ?

"Suicide is negative"

What does that mean?

The issue is the mindless platitudes- suicide is not the answer, or suicide is a permanent yadda yadda.

The problem is that you guys are speaking in absolutes and won't acknowledge the truth, which is that sometimes, suicide is the answer. The truth is that sometimes, suicide is the only actual solution to a permanent problem. The platitude spouters won't acknowledge this truth.

If we are free agents, we must be allowed to have this choice. I don't like it personally in the same way as I don't like other choices people should be free to choose that do not directly harm others. But I am aware that if we cannot recognize and respect others' liberty, we will not keep our own.