When I was 21 my best friend committed suicide. Looking back the signs were all there, but you just never think someone will commit suicide. Seems to happen way more often now. Not sure if this because media publiciszes it now or if it has always been this frequent. Sad none the less. I pray my friend Jake is at peace, but wish he was still here. Life is a present...open that present each and every day.

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Originally posted by Oz_Shadow:
I'm wondering why I have no idea who he is. As often as I have seen the story today, he must have been quite popular. Did he just do cooking shows?

He was a NYC chef at a French brasserie, who did some writing on the side. His fame started off by writing a memoir that ended up on a the best seller lists, Kitchen Confidential. His writing style caught the eye of some producers who thought they could spin his perspective into a food/travel show, A Cook's Tour; considering the time it was made, it's a rough watch. That show got picked-up by the Food Network, rebranded and polished-up version of the show called No Reservations, which is where his star began to rise and the awards started to flow-in.

His format was to visit a location, explore it's background while interacting with the locals and eating what was unique to the area while providing wide ranging commentary, food was the vehicle used to connect with that location. Some places were known only to foodies (Lyon, El Bulli), others were tourist hot-spots (San Francisco, Rome, Thailand), and some were exotic, way off the beaten path locations (Libya, Congo, Indonesia, Iran). Not all the shows were the same, some were more food centric, others were more social commentary, some were more comical and others were disasters, he made a lot of shows. Years later he had a falling-out with Food Network over show content and moved on to CNN, where he created a similar food/travel show Part's Unknown. In between he wrote several more books, to conclude a cookbook and a few graphic novels, had a number of side projects and was working on building a large food hall in NYC, with the hopes of bringing some of the food vendors from the various locations he filmed in, to the US serving their dishes.

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When I was 21 my best friend committed suicide. Looking back the signs were all there, but you just never think someone will commit suicide. Seems to happen way more often now. Not sure if this because media publicizes it now or if it has always been this frequent.

It's actually happening more.

Suicide rates on rise in US, CDC reports
http://www.foxnews.com/health/...-us-cdc-reports.html

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The answer is quite simple DRUGS!!!!!
Be it recreational or prescribed psychiatric meds. They cause one to become complete and utterly numb to anything and everything around them.
I have worked many many a suicides and suicide attempts. I can’t remember one where the person did not use drugs recreationaly or was prescribed them for some sort of psychiatric issue.

I think that Black92LX must be right.

I had to look up his name. (Apparently, I never stayed on his show while channel surfing.)

The Iceman had some thoughts:


Val Kilmer lashed out in anger against his friend Anthony Bourdain today, saying the CNN TV star’s suicide was “so selfish” in a rambling online post.
CNN TV star’s suicide was “so selfish” in a rambling online post.

Kilmer made his remarks in a lengthy post on Facebook, mixing anger with spiritual invocations. “Oh the dark thick pain of loss. The selfishness,” Kilmer said. “How many moments away were you from feeling the love that was universal. From every corner of the world you were loved. So selfish. You’ve given us cause to be so angry.”
Kilmer then told of “a spiritual guide” who told him that “suicide is the most selfish act.”
“So what? I hear you took your life in paris,” Kilmer continued. “What hotel? Did you relapse? Did you just get home from the best meal of your life? Did you cheat on your girl. Those of us that knew you are shocked and angry and angry and angry selfishly angry, for what you just did to us. Millions I should think. At least a million people like me who imagine they know you. Some imagine they know you even well. But you heard that phone ringing, you felt it buzzing in your coat or pants pocket, vibrating a million times, but you didn’t answer it. You let it ring out. Did you bleed out? Did you suffocate? Did you jump. No you didn’t jump. Is it important we know how you did it? No. But that you did it.”

Yeah, that's right, Val. The fact that you are parroting the most overused and worn out of platitudes about suicide overrules the right of another human being (read that as not you, Val) to end their existence.

Oh, he was your friend? Does that give you a key to unlock the man's thoughts? Because you were his friend, this meant that you could - for lack of a better way of putting it- experience his experience? The day to day, moment to moment thoughts and feelings Bourdain experienced- you know about all of it? In other words, Val- because you were the man's friend, you could not only read his mind, you could also in essence become the man? Is that how it works? You seem to think so, because you think you were in a position to make decisions for the man in the most important question any human being can ask their self.

Your own words indicate the problem here, Val. You say that you and others are angry "for what you just did to us."

News flash for ya, Val- you are the selfish one

"...for what you just did to us."

Asshole

Go ahead, Val- repeat some more platitudes that some con man "spiritual healer" dropped on your for 350 bucks an hour. Fucking phony.

We are thrown into this world. No one asks to be born. We have no choice in the matter. That being the case, if we are not allowed the privilege of deciding when to leave this life that we had no choice in starting, then we are nothing but slaves.

Suck it up, Val. It wasn't your life. It wasn't your decision to make. Take your self-centered phony Hollywood bullshit and shove it up your ass,

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Originally posted by parabellum:
Yeah, that's right, Val. The fact that you are parroting the most overused and worn out of platitudes about suicide overrules the right of another human being (read that as not you, Val) to end their existence.

Oh, he was your friend? Does that give you a key to unlock the man's thoughts? Because you were his friend, this meant that you could - for lack of a better way of putting it- experience his experience? The day to day, moment to moment thoughts and feelings Bourdain experienced- you know about all of it? In other words, Val- because you were the man's friend, you could not only read his mind, you could also in essence become the man? Is that how it works? You seem to think so, because you think you were in a position to make decisions for the man in the most important question any human being can ask their self.

Your own words indicate the problem here, Val. You say that you and others are angry "for what you just did to us."

News flash for ya, Val- you are the selfish one

"...for what you just did to us."

Asshole

Go ahead, Val- repeat some more platitudes that some con man "spiritual healer" dropped on your for 350 bucks an hour. Fucking phony.

We are thrown into this world. No one asks to be born. We have no choice in the matter. That being the case, if we are not allowed the privilege of deciding when to leave this life that we had no choice in starting, then we are nothing but slaves.

Suck it up, Val. It wasn't your life. It wasn't your decision to make. Take your self-centered phony Hollywood bullshit and shove it up your ass,

Scientology, isn’t it grand?

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Originally posted by bigwagon:
I guess being a rich and famous celebrity ain't all it's cracked up to be.

This has been proven over and over. I’m neither rich nor famous but I don’t ever see myself getting to that point and my life has sucked pretty bad numerous times.

It's a shame to hear. Though I didn't agree with him on many things, he was an entertaining presenter and had some amazing adventures in life.

I liked the webseries that he did with Balvenie entitled "Raw Craft"

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Originally posted by jjkroll32:
I liked the webseries that he did with Balvenie entitled "Raw Craft"

Those were good, not very long but, very focused and most important, interesting.

I thought his best TV work was the 2-season long Layover show and the current running cook docu show The Mind of a Chef. If you're traveling or, going to be traveling, those shows were nails. I understand that he filmed them as it was intended, as actual 24-48 hour layovers, traveling from location-to-location, entire season filming wrapped-up in two weeks - he was smoked at the end of filming. He later created a second version, called The Getaway but, instead featured B-list celebrities doing the hosting...some are ok, others are a waste of celluloid.

The Mind of a Chef is arguably the best cooking/food show on TV. If you're a foodie and into cooking/locations/chefs, this is a great show. Some are good, like the original with David Chang, and Sean Brock and some are downright awful, avoid Gabrielle Hamilton.

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Originally posted by Black92LX:

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
Yeah, that's right, Val. The fact that you are parroting the most overused and worn out of platitudes about suicide overrules the right of another human being (read that as not you, Val) to end their existence.

Oh, he was your friend? Does that give you a key to unlock the man's thoughts? Because you were his friend, this meant that you could - for lack of a better way of putting it- experience his experience? The day to day, moment to moment thoughts and feelings Bourdain experienced- you know about all of it? In other words, Val- because you were the man's friend, you could not only read his mind, you could also in essence become the man? Is that how it works? You seem to think so, because you think you were in a position to make decisions for the man in the most important question any human being can ask their self.

Your own words indicate the problem here, Val. You say that you and others are angry "for what you just did to us."

News flash for ya, Val- you are the selfish one

"...for what you just did to us."

Asshole

Go ahead, Val- repeat some more platitudes that some con man "spiritual healer" dropped on your for 350 bucks an hour. Fucking phony.

We are thrown into this world. No one asks to be born. We have no choice in the matter. That being the case, if we are not allowed the privilege of deciding when to leave this life that we had no choice in starting, then we are nothing but slaves.

Suck it up, Val. It wasn't your life. It wasn't your decision to make. Take your self-centered phony Hollywood bullshit and shove it up your ass,

Scientology, isn’t it grand?

I believe Kilmer is a Christian Scientist, not a Scientologist

Reacting with anger to a death is common; it's just another face of grief; a more protective one when unable to face it. Depression is anger, turned inward against one's self; perhaps Kilmer's commentary is his effort to deflect depression over the event.

I hear a deeper message in his commentary which isn't at all what the words are saying, but which I think he is saying, and it's more about his own pain, perhaps depression, too. What I heard when I read those words was the voice of someone who is depressed and who is frightened by what Bourdaine did...not because Bourdaine did it, but because it hits close to home and Kilmer is seeing himself in Bourdain's shoes.

Then again, I don't know either one of them. I understand depression very well, though.

There is no doubt suicide takes a huge toll on the people that loved them.

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Originally posted by mod29:
There is no doubt suicide takes a huge toll on the people that loved them.

Yes, there is no doubt about it, and I'd wager that you have experience with this, as have I.

I just do not find anger in myself against those who made the decision to leave this existence, no matter who they left behind or how deep or long-lasting the scar. Speaking in abstract terms, I am championing the individual and their inherent right to self-determination.

The guy managed 61 trips around the sun before he called it quits. That counts for something.

We come into this world kicking and screaming and it never stops until the grave. Forgive me for stating the obvious, but life is a struggle. Even though we who are now alive have the benefits and comforts of scientific knowledge and technology, it's a struggle to stay alive- in some form or another and to varying degrees- until we die. Some people just get tired of it.

I loved no reservations, he had another show called "The Layover" the was pretty good too. As to his politics he was without question left leaning, but he had a pretty wide libertarian streak, I suspect from seeing oppressive governments in action(arguably including some of our own).

I'll miss him being on the planet.

Cops get killed in the line line of duty. Soldiers & Marines get killed in combat. No one really cares about them except for their families and other vets

Why is this liberal cocksucker so damm important? Goodbye and good riddens!!

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Originally posted by Marlin Fan:
Cops get killed in the line line of duty. Soldiers & Marines get killed in combat. No one really cares about them except for their families and other vets

Why is this liberal cocksucker so damm important? Goodbye and good riddens!!

Wow, such anger. I don't know the guy, didn't watch his shows, don't know or care about his politics (just like any other celeb), but his suicide brings hints of John Donne's "For whom the bell tolls":

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."

The state of our current civil dialogue saddens me. When I was younger, one could have deeply divergent political views with a friend, argue points, hear and examine other's logic, perhaps acknowledge that one's opponent had a valid point or two, perhaps have one or two of your own points acknowledged. It was actually possible to disagree without being disagreeable. Heck, going back even further, in her 1906 book "The Friends of Voltaire," Evelyn Beatrice Hall, writing under the synonym of S. G. Tallentyre, wrote in describing Voltaire's mindset, "'I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it,' was his attitude now." Quite a long ways from today's attitude of "If you don't agree with what I have to say then STFU." typically expressed with much vulgarity.

Btw, the word for which you are so blindly groping is "riddance," not "riddens."

My grandfather committed suicide when I was 4.

He had started drinking when he came back from WWI, then grandmother had a stroke and died in their kitchen. My father grew up with him being a drunk off and on. He had his sister got taken from him and sent to separate group homes where my father escaped and kidnapped his sister. They hid out at a farm until my father was old enough to be her guardian.

Grandfather signed up for WWII and was stationed repairing aircraft at a base where he used German POW's to make stills.

the war ended and grandfather sobered up for 20 years to reconnect with his children.

He was in Miami Florida working in 1969 and for some reason took that one drink and decided the monster had taken him back, so he ended everyone's pain before he could cause it again.

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Originally posted by Marlin Fan:
Cops get killed in the line line of duty. Soldiers & Marines get killed in combat. No one really cares about them except for their families and other vets

Why is this liberal cocksucker so damm important? Goodbye and good riddens!!

Sorry Marlin, can't agree with you. I am certain there are many folks on this forum that DO care when a police officer or military service member loses their life, even if not related or a veteran.

quote:

Originally posted by Marlin Fan:
Cops get killed in the line line of duty. Soldiers & Marines get killed in combat. No one really cares about them except for their families and other vets

Why is this liberal cocksucker so damm important? Goodbye and good riddens!!

Marines are soldiers, and a lot of people are concerned about police and soldiers, living or dead. Bourdain was neither; the issue is irrelevant.

Important is a relative term. He's been followed for a long time by a lot of people; some may like him, some may not; either is fine. There are a lot of people who never get beyond the borders of their town, and for them, their visits around the world were vicarious through Bourdain.

My wife felt that Bourdain looked and sounded very much like her father and that formed part of her following of the show, but she liked it as is. I'm watching it right now, a series of his favorite episodes. I know nothing of his politics and am not particularly interested in them; I've never noted them in his shows. Perhaps his political views were there, but if so, I didn't take note. It is a country where everyone is allowed to have their own view, though.

Last year on Christmas eve, I was in a Home Depot doing some shopping. Someone close to me called on my cell; we hadn't talked in a while. The first thing he told me was that he'd be dead in short while, suicide. The christmas season this last year was particularly stressful, but it's still not over. The effects of personal decisions seldom effect just us; a rock in a pond sends ripples in every direction and every shore feels the effects. I'll just say that the waves are still coming ashore, sometimes as tsunami's.

Bourdain's show was a pleasant view of the world, a vicarious trip abroad for a lot of people, and as such he became a host and a traveling companion. He had somewhat of a rough past, having been a heroin addict, and he he had succeeded in a world where many haven't. He was a world class chef who was happy eating in a dive in Vietnam, killing and cooking anything, and took his show anywhere in the world without regard to his safety; his shows often focused on off the beating track.

Most people never met or knew John or Robert Kennedy, yet felt a profound sense of loss with their assassination. I didn't know John Denver and met him very briefly just once, but he always said that if you knew his music then you knew him, and to this day I feel a profound loss. I once transported the body of an 8 year old who had drowned, back to the reservation to his family. I'd never met him, didn't know anything about him, but that night haunted me for years after. I can't explain why. I didn't know Robin Williams beyond his appearances on TV and movies, but was very saddened by his suicide. I once stood in front of an inverted rifle between two boots and a set of dog tags, between blast walls in a location in Iraq. I didn't know him. Of respect to his unit,I did not come to their memorial; it was theirs and I'd have been out of place. I visited quietly on my own, and though I never knew him, I felt a loss. I can't explain the way I feel at the Wall or what it does to me, but it does, as it affects millions of others. Suicide or other means of passing, it's a death, it's tragic, and it's hard for a lot of people whether they knew those who passed on, or not. Let them grieve.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: sns3guppy,

A truck driver friend said while he was driving yesterday some radio program reported that while AB was in France a paparazzi snapped pics of AB's girlfriend in another country with another guy and posted them somewhere and AB saw them. Don't know if there is anything to this or not.