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Picture of cparktd
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quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
I just got a car with one of those new-fangled automatic transmissions.

The car only goes when it is light outside.

It works fine when you choose D for daytime, but it won't move when you put it in N for night time.


Does anyone remember the Jerry Clower automatic transmission story? First time he drove one...

The gist of it... you can Imagine Jerry making 5 minutes out of this.

So...
"P" must be for parking... OK.
"N" for nothing it seems.
"L" for leaving? OK, that worked but it's kind of slow.
"D" must be for driving.
Yes! Now we are really moving along pretty good!
So... I figure "R" stands for racing.

That's when all hell broke lose!



The older I get, the more I identify with Red Foreman...
 
Posts: 3456 | Location: Middle Tennessee | Registered: February 07, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No, not like
Bill Clinton
Picture of BigSwede
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No man should utter the words Yum Yum Sauce


It's seafood sauce twinkle toes


*********************
“I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.”
 
Posts: 3521 | Location: GA | Registered: September 23, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of wrightd
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Just checking in. I got nuthin.




Lover of the US Constitution
Wile E. Coyote School of Auto amechanice
 
Posts: 7166 | Location: Nowhere the constitution is not honored | Registered: February 01, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
אַרְיֵה
Picture of V-Tail
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I needed to run to Target to pick up a couple of things.

Didn't bother to dress up.

After all, it wasn't like I was going to Walmart or anything.



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
 
Posts: 25214 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Edge seeking
Sharp blade!
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At 1000 views of this thread, I'm declaring SIGFORUM bicurious: https://sigforum.com/eve/forums...0601935/m/2420041084
 
Posts: 6840 | Location: Over the hills and far away | Registered: January 20, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I have full time employment again. Only ten cents more an hour than the jail, but the benefits are so good, I'd be a damn fool to not take it.
 
Posts: 154 | Location: Southwest Missouri  | Registered: April 08, 2020Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of wrightd
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That sounds really good. Good bennies are nothing to sneeze at. For me bennies are more important than pay. Good on you.




Lover of the US Constitution
Wile E. Coyote School of Auto amechanice
 
Posts: 7166 | Location: Nowhere the constitution is not honored | Registered: February 01, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of wrightd
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Also, I know how to forestall monkey butt.




Lover of the US Constitution
Wile E. Coyote School of Auto amechanice
 
Posts: 7166 | Location: Nowhere the constitution is not honored | Registered: February 01, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of dsiets
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quote:
Originally posted by Skins2881:
Verizon is coming to upgrade my internet today, I had to sign up for a higher speed to keep my bill from going up. Seems backwards I know, but whatever.

I had that at one point w/ Commiecast. I called to downgrade my service because it was getting too expensive. By downgrading I got faster internet.
Of course I asked, "Why do I have to call and find this out? Why not just increase it if I'm already paying more for it?"
I was dumber after listening to the answer.
 
Posts: 6108 | Location: MI | Registered: May 22, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of dsiets
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A week or so ago I was shoveling the front walk and my snow shovel came apart; the screw holding the scoop and and shaft fell out, never to be found.
I knew there were some screws in our junk drawer so I started cleaning that out for the first time since, oh, maybe 2001.
In it, I found an envelope. In the envelope was a pistol barrel. A P239 .357sig barrel. A .357sig barrel I brought to the shop to maybe sell back in 2008 after my work closed down and I was looking for a little extra cash.

I greased it and tossed it into my P239 and went to the range. I was all Smile Smile Smile
 
Posts: 6108 | Location: MI | Registered: May 22, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Vagabond Dreamer
Picture of Patrick-SP2022
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I went to the IHOP the other day and they gave me the senior citizens discount.
This was the first time I ever got that.

I feel old. Frown



And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
 
Posts: 3601 | Location: Texas | Registered: April 16, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of SFCUSARET
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" ? "


__________________________
"Para ser libre, un hombre debe tener tres cosas, la tierra, una educacion y un fusil. Siempre un fusil !" (Emiliano Zapata)
 
Posts: 991 | Location: Scottsdale, AZ | Registered: September 26, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Void Where Prohibited
Picture of WaterburyBob
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Any day with good pizza and beer is a good day.
One good thing about the Northeast is the abundance of Mom-and-Pop pizza shops that offer excellent pizzas.



"If Gun Control worked, Chicago would look like Mayberry, not Thunderdome" - Cam Edwards
 
Posts: 15627 | Location: Under the Boot of Tyranny in Connectistan | Registered: February 02, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of konata88
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Do birds have polarized vision? Or how do they hunt for fish while flying above?




"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - B.Franklin
"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy
 
Posts: 9759 | Location: In the gilded cage | Registered: December 09, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of whododat
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I love lamp.


Escape is not always the safest path.
 
Posts: 1674 | Location: Escaped to TN | Registered: October 29, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Hobbs
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I love all this talk about nothing
It's the only thing I know anything about
 
Posts: 4671 | Location: Bathing in the stream of consciousness ~~~ | Registered: July 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of vthoky
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My feet feel like I've walked around in wet sneakers all day. And I haven't.




God bless America.
 
Posts: 10986 | Location: Hokie Nation! | Registered: July 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unapologetic Old
School Curmudgeon
Picture of Lord Vaalic
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My pinky has been numb for a week now




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
 
Posts: 10067 | Location: TN | Registered: December 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No, not like
Bill Clinton
Picture of BigSwede
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$1400 for a new fish tank filter/pump. Mad We will have a fish fry before that happens again


*********************
“I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.”
 
Posts: 3521 | Location: GA | Registered: September 23, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
semi-reformed sailor
Picture of MikeinNC
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Neighbor upstream from me got orders to National Training Center in CA, (Army) I was helping him fix his sprinklers and I installed a window sill cause his beast ate the other one....we were talking and I found out both he and his wife are from Tampa....

First time in my life I have run into another honest to god fellow Floridian....(most people are transplants)

Now they’re moving.



"Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

“ You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020

 
Posts: 8511 | Location: Temple, Texas! | Registered: October 07, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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