I have no solution for getting them someplace on time.
But, I do have a solution for the wife who won’t leave the party. She ignores the agreed upon word that means “it is time to go.” She does nothing when I offer to get her coat and purse. She doesn’t react when I say I have a headache.

BUT, when I go up to one of the other husbands and say loudly so the other women can hear, this works every time. DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I THOUGHT I HAD DIAREA BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE GONOREAH. Like a rocket, she will be AT THE DOOR, COAT ON AND PURSE IN HAND ASKING ME WHT TOOK ME SO LONG.

Yes, yes there is! I tell my wife that the party/reservation is a half hour before we’re supposed to be there. I rather get the dirty looks when we are the first people at a shindig or have to wait a bit for reservations. I am the veteran but she runs in hurry it up and WAIT!!

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My heritage is Greek ancestry. For my entire life, my Dad, brother, all my Uncles and every male cousin called it "Greek Time" which was always 30 to 45 minutes late.

It was never really related to being Greek, it was code for "Waiting for the girl." We just called it running on "Greek Time" to keep ourselves out of the doghouse because as soon as you say something about being late ~ she gets even slower somehow??

Just don't forget what's really important ~ it's not where you're going or what you're doing ~ what's important is that you're with the person you want to be with...Now that you know she will be chronically late, can you accept this compromise based on the things she does that you really love about her?


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Originally posted by architect:
Not saying this will work with every woman, but...I have had some success by saying, "we have to be there by xx:yy, what time should we leave?" This puts it on her to set the schedule, and makes it far more likely that she will comply with her own assertion. You will at least find out if her chronic "lateness" is intentional or not.

Agreed. Either that or let it go. Not sure how important this is to you or what type of events these are. Another option would be to meet up there. That way you are on time, and she can show up on her schedule..

Yeah, say that you're ready, then go take a nap.

The late Joseph Campbell addressed this once. He said that after spending years being angered or frustrated by his wife's tardiness, he realized that he was issing out o the experience that he could be having in those intervals. He wasn't saying that he found things to do while waiting. He was saying that he learned to abide in those spaces.

His solution is a variation of my personal 'time machine'. Here is what I try to do: I project myself into the future. That is to say, I imagine myself years from now, looking back on the self at this present moment. In this way, I can be present in the past, by imagining now as being the past. It's kind of an odd idea, but it works to help me appreciate today as I might appreciate it when I look back at today, years from now. At some point in the future, either my wife will be gone before me, or I will b gone before her. If it's the latter, well, my troubles are over, but if it's the former, won't I regret that my anger or frustration robbed me of the pleasure of knowing that she was in the next room, alive and well at the moment in question?

Next time your wife's tardiness makes you impatient, try my technique.

Married for 33 years next week.

Chronic lateness is a real thing. I can yell, complain or point it out that the clock says we're late or going to late and it doesn't do a thing to speed her along or to hurry up. Not a thing.

She kind of waits to the last minute to get ready and assumes that everything will be done on time so we can leave and arrive when we should but she never sticks to her plans or schedule and we're always late.

She's made plane flights with mere minutes to spare.

So either you live with it or just don't hang around women.

My wife’s best friend moved much closer to us so they ended up doing more together but her friend was chronically late always having a new excuse as to why it constantly happened.

It really started pissing my wife off so she just had a heart to heart with her and told her that her being late all the time just shows that she doesn’t respect her time. Apparently it worked because she has never been late again and it’s been 4 years so I guess all those excuses were just that.

I personally wouldn’t put up with that in any relationship either so I’m glad it worked out for her. You can call it whatever you want but it’s a lack of respect no question about it.

The only way is to lie to them. For instance:

We have to be there at 8:00, which means I want to get there around 7:45.

30 minute travel time, so us men would leave precisely at 7:15.

I have to tell my wife we have to leave at 6:45. Not because she'll actually be ready at 6:45, but she'll actually be ready at 7:00.

Now that wouldn't be that bad you say, except for by the time we get to the end of the neighborhood, we have to flip back around to the house to get all the shit she forgot.

Before you know, you're pulling out of the driveway finally ready to roll at 7:15.

Now of course you'd say, "why didn't you ask her if she had everything before you left?". You'd be right, I do. But she lies to me and tells me she's all set, then we roll out. Of course what she forgot hits her at roughly the exit of the neighborhood.

Having said that...she is very, VERY pretty. So the cycle continues!

Or it could be honest to God agoraphobia. You’re right - being on time is definitely a thing, no question about it …but I know there are times when I delay, delay because I am very anxious about what’s going to be happening.. and it might just be a casual dinner with a friend I genuinely like and trust, but maybe in a place I’m not so excited about. Or maybe I’m concerned about running into someone who has been at odds with me, and just don’t feel like getting into that shit.

I hate to acknowledge it, but COVID really got me comfortable with being at home where all my stuff is, and I kind of like it here. No assholes, I usually know what/who to expect, etc.

Also, if you don’t know what kind of event it is, or how to dress for it, or you really feel like you’re going to embarrass yourself-that’s a real thing, too. Genuine compliments help here, not the “you look fine, let’s go” crap.

Get used to it.

My mother is German, and both of my ex wifes were German. I am sure this problem might exist in Germany but I never encountered it. Sort of frowned on to be late to anything.

You could start paying her cash to be on time and see if that works. At least that way you'll have the illusion of some control with the bonus that she'll never get too serious. Good luck.

Being habitually late is disrespectful. Good luck telling her so. And, btw not all women are like this. Some wimmins are habitually early.

Possibly partial German ancestry is responsible for my punctuality. My wife isn't generally late, but tends to be ready at the last minute, which is a little frustrating. It may be discrepancy in definition- departure time for her means when she brushes her hair, checks her lipstick, changes shoes, etc., where for me it is when we leave the driveway.

Well, I am early to everything. My ex-husband was always late. Can we broaden the discussion?

I’ve been married for almost 10 years now and I thank the good Lord that I don’t have to deal with this. My wife is on time and that means early. However, her two daughters get different times for arrival at anything. Daughter #1 is on time, especially if food is involved. She gets the actual arrival time. Daugher #2 is told 1 hour before actual arrival time and then she’s only about an hour late.

Married 36 years and my wife has only been late a few times. I am so thankful.

My oldest daughter was often late when she lived with us and she was left behind several times.

One of my wife’s sisters is ALWAYS late. She was late to our wedding. I have left her several times. I was supposed to take her to the airport a few years ago. She told me what time to pick her up and I said I would be there. She told me to text when I was on the way and I said “no, I I’ll be there at the time you said and will wait no more than 5 minutes.” I waited 5 minutes and went home, turned my phone off to.

No. My wife and I have an understanding. Her "I'll be ready in 15 minutes" is equivalent to my "leaving work in 5 minutes".

We're both lying.

Its extremely easy. Tell them to show up an hour earlier than the event.

I think Waylons quote is on his “ol’Waylon”album.

“Any man that understands a woman, is one.”