Professionally, I've had to do the "15 minutes late, and I'm gone" thing a couple times.

It's always worked well.

I've been seeing a lovely woman, but she's chronically late. Right now, I've asked that she just let me know when she's about 15 minutes from being ready to be picked up - her place is not far from mine.

Is there any known method to get a woman to be more sorted, or is this just one of those things I have to tolerate?

Not to be a smart ass But- Thanks for the chuckle.

If the meeting is at 11:00, tell her it's at 10:30....

Nope!

Not...if you want to maintain a positive relationship.

I'm always ranting and raving when I have to speed somewhere in fear of being late due to this phenomenon. Also, I'm sure you know that Brad Paisley song, "Waiting on a Woman." This is just a fact of life.

quote:

Originally posted by Aglifter:
Is there any known method to get a woman to be more sorted, or is this just one of those things I have to tolerate?

No. Either learn to live with it or leave.

If you come up with a solution, bottle it and sell it, there's a lot of pent-up demand!

The phrase "It's fashionable to be late" has to be attributed to women.

No shit, when I asked for my father-in-law's blessing to marry his daughter, he relayed two things... one of which was "the women in this family make a profession out of being late." His solution: tell his wife that they need to leave by a certain time and to schedule a 30-45 minute nap at the desired time. He said that way he wouldn't notice the delay and would be fresh/alert by the time they ultimately left.

Just leave without them

I marvel at your optimism. I loosely conclude that people often late are selfish. If she's worth the wait, she's worth the wait. Deal with it and get used to it.

I drive almost always when with my wife. I've made a simple request multiple times. Since I'm driving and carrying the FOB, I can't lock the car until she's out. Can you gather your stuff and be ready to get out when we arrive at our destination? She can't do it, so I get out and wait for her to gather her stuff.

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
If the meeting is at 11:00, tell her it's at 10:30....

I used to do this. It just pissed her off more and wasn't worth the fight. Same thing with leaving without her. The only occasion I know my wife to not have been late to was our wedding.

Good luck, at least you know this is what the deal is going in.

Encourage yes, get it to work?

NO

Mr. Ag lifter sir, if it were not for the history of your posts being serious and well thought out, I’d be positive this was a straight line teeing up humor. I wish I had a good answer for you.

Two thoughts come to mind:

1) Suck it up and deal with it. Pad schedules or arrange your time involving her so that timing is less critical.

or

2) (And I can’t imagine this will go well). Have a frank conversation where you let her know that you think she is lovely and you really enjoy being around her. And as tactfully as possible let her know that for whatever reason being timely was forged into your from an early age and is very important to you. That for whatever reason it feels really disrespectfully when someone agrees on a time and then keeps you waiting and/or forces you to be late. If she can do whatever she needs to do to be ready when she agrees to be ready, great! If not, you wish her the best but you think that going your separate ways might be a better decision for both of you.

The latter sounds a lot like an ultimatum, and when you give someone an ultimatum you are really telling them that whatever the ultimatum is about is more important to you than the relationship with them is. I generally try to avoid ultimatums, but if being timely is a dealbreaker maybe it is better to cut bait early and move on. On the other hand, maybe she never considered how someone being made to wait would feel and the conversation might cause her to consider changing. (Yeah, I know, we’ll see a formation of Durocs put the Blue Angels to shame first.)

I suspect it is really all about deciding whether you can tolerate the tardiness or not. Good luck, whatever you decide!

Just know it probably won't get fixed, ever.

34 years of no.

Never more than two minutes late.
"Last Minute Lucy" isn't staying around because you you wanted to change her.

Ask not what she can do for you , but,
What you can do for her.

Not saying this will work with every woman, but...I have had some success by saying, "we have to be there by xx:yy, what time should we leave?" This puts it on her to set the schedule, and makes it far more likely that she will comply with her own assertion. You will at least find out if her chronic "lateness" is intentional or not.

There was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond that dealt with this. He set an AIS time - an "ass in seat" time. Give her the AIS time and when that time comes leave whether her ass is in the seat or not.

See if it works out better for you in real life than it did on a SitCom, and let us know.

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:

No. Either learn to live with it or leave.

This.

I've been married 32 years and I surrendered this hill long ago, which was difficult for me as I am a "if you're on time you're late, arrive 15 minutes early to everything" type. I will occasionally tell her the start time is 30 minutes prior to actual (as others have suggested here) and have had success with that.

I have no solution for getting them someplace on time.
But, I do have a solution for the wife who won’t leave the party. She ignores the agreed upon word that means “it is time to go.” She does nothing when I offer to get her coat and purse. She doesn’t react when I say I have a headache.

BUT, when I go up to one of the other husbands and say loudly so the other women can hear, this works every time. DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I THOUGHT I HAD DIAREA BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE GONOREAH. Like a rocket, she will be AT THE DOOR, COAT ON AND PURSE IN HAND ASKING ME WHT TOOK ME SO LONG.