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Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood film, "The Great Composers! "I'll be Beethoven," said Stallone. "I'll be Mozart," said Willis. "What about you, Arnold," they asked. Arnold said, "Don't make me say it." _____________________ Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you. | |||
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| Cold Ass Honkey |
Sarah Jessica Parker sits down at a bar. The bartender looks up and says "why the long face"? ------------------------------ Never fully gruntled. | |||
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| Savor the limelight |
***Thread Resurrection*** The was a problem with my credit card at the sweater store. It turned out OK because they just ran my card again. | |||
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32nd degree |
saw that one on a mens room stall back in '65 ___________________  "the world doesn't end til yer dead, 'til then there's more beatin's in store, stand it like a man, and give some back" Al Swearengen | |||
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| Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor  |
A man was badly injured playing peek-a-boo. He's now in the ICU. ________________________________________________________ The trouble with trouble is; it always starts out as fun. | |||
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| His diet consists of black coffee, and sarcasm.  |
"The Almighty, He put some livin' things on this earth so a man can eat." - Festus Haggen, Gunsmoke | |||
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| Green grass and high tides  |
What did the fish say when he bumped his head on the concrete? Dam "Practice like you want to play in the game" | |||
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| Member |
The stall I remember said "What are you looking up here for, The jokes in your hand" | |||
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| SIGforum Official Eye Doc  |
What did George Washington say to his troops before crossing the Delaware river? “Get in the boat.” | |||
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| Jack of All Trades, Master of Nothing  |
What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza and a pregnant woman all have in common? All 3 examples of something that was left in a little too long. My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball. | |||
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| Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor |
Why was the pediatrician always losing his temper? He had little patients. ________________________________________________________ The trouble with trouble is; it always starts out as fun. | |||
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| Member |
What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is a big, fat animal. The other is a little lighter. ______________________________________________________________________ "When its time to shoot, shoot. Dont talk!" “What the government is good at is collecting taxes, taking away your freedoms and killing people. It’s not good at much else.” —Author Tom Clancy | |||
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| Member |
Why did Piglet stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh. | |||
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| Member |
What's the difference between light and hard? I can sleep with a light on. | |||
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Baroque Bloke |
Also seen in a mens room stall (pay toilet): Here I sit all broken hearted Paid a nickel and only farted Serious about crackers. | |||
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Keeping the economy moving since 1964 |
"I see" said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw. ----------------------- You can't fall off the floor. | |||
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