We could use a thread for groaners, puns, and dad jokes...
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood film, "The Great Composers! "I'll be Beethoven," said Stallone. "I'll be Mozart," said Willis. "What about you, Arnold," they asked. Arnold said, "Don't make me say it."
_____________________
Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you.
June 19, 2023, 12:08 PM
Sig Vicious
Sarah Jessica Parker sits down at a bar. The bartender looks up and says "why the long face"?
------------------------------ Never fully gruntled.
October 17, 2025, 06:06 PM
trapper189
***Thread Resurrection***
The was a problem with my credit card at the sweater store. It turned out OK because they just ran my card again.
October 17, 2025, 06:50 PM
roarindan
quote:
Originally posted by .38supersig: You can lead a Horticulture, but you can't make her think.
saw that one on a mens room stall back in '65
___________________
"the world doesn't end til yer dead, 'til then there's more beatin's in store, stand it like a man, and give some back" Al Swearengen
October 17, 2025, 07:21 PM
Z06
A man was badly injured playing peek-a-boo. He's now in the ICU.
________________________________________________________ The trouble with trouble is; it always starts out as fun.
October 17, 2025, 08:04 PM
egregore
"The Almighty, He put some livin' things on this earth so a man can eat." - Festus Haggen, Gunsmoke
October 17, 2025, 08:59 PM
old rugged cross
What did the fish say when he bumped his head on the concrete?
Dam
"Practice like you want to play in the game"
October 18, 2025, 04:23 AM
Schmelby
quote:
Originally posted by roarindan:
quote:
Originally posted by .38supersig: You can lead a Horticulture, but you can't make her think.
saw that one on a mens room stall back in '65
The stall I remember said "What are you looking up here for, The jokes in your hand"
October 18, 2025, 05:30 AM
bcereuss
What did George Washington say to his troops before crossing the Delaware river?
“Get in the boat.”
October 18, 2025, 07:20 AM
2000Z-71
What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza and a pregnant woman all have in common?
All 3 examples of something that was left in a little too long.
My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball.
October 18, 2025, 10:51 AM
Z06
Why was the pediatrician always losing his temper?
He had little patients.
________________________________________________________ The trouble with trouble is; it always starts out as fun.
October 18, 2025, 02:31 PM
CPD SIG
What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is a big, fat animal. The other is a little lighter.
______________________________________________________________________ "When its time to shoot, shoot. Dont talk!"
“What the government is good at is collecting taxes, taking away your freedoms and killing people. It’s not good at much else.” —Author Tom Clancy
October 18, 2025, 02:39 PM
Bytes
Why did Piglet stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
October 18, 2025, 03:52 PM
Bytes
What's the difference between light and hard?
I can sleep with a light on.
October 18, 2025, 06:08 PM
Pipe Smoker
quote:
Originally posted by roarindan:
quote:
Originally posted by .38supersig: You can lead a Horticulture, but you can't make her think.
saw that one on a mens room stall back in '65
Also seen in a mens room stall (pay toilet):
Here I sit all broken hearted Paid a nickel and only farted
Serious about crackers.
October 18, 2025, 08:07 PM
chbibc
"I see" said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw.
----------------------- You can't fall off the floor.
