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Get my pies
outta the oven!

Picture of PASig
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From 12/9/21 but just as funny today if not funnier!

**Satire Alert for the slow ones**

quote:

Cruel: Jussie Smollett Will Be Forced To Share A Jail Cell With His Attacker

The Babylon Bee
December 9th, 2021

CHICAGO, IL—People are protesting in the streets today after human rights groups revealed Jussie Smollett will be forced to share a jail cell with his racist attackers.

"This is an outrage!" said Reverend Jesse Jackson. "Not only was Mr. Smollett attacked by hateful racist bigots who want to tear our country apart, but now he has to share a jail cell with them? This is cruel and unusual punishment. This is the kind of thing that happens in our white supremacist country. Send me money!"

Criminal justice watchdogs also revealed that in addition to sharing a cell with his attackers, he will have to share his toothbrush, his bunk bed, and clothes. They expressed worry that this may lead to Jussie Smollet suffering further racist and homophobic attacks from other attackers named Jussie Smollett while in prison.

When asked for comment, Jussie Smollet angrily yelled "This is MAGA country!" before punching himself in the face.


Link


 
Posts: 33895 | Location: Pennsylvania | Registered: November 12, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Jussie Smollett’s time in the Cook County Jail will be spent in protective custody, away from the jail’s general population, court records show.

Cook County Judge Judge James Linn agreed with Smollett’s attorneys’ recommendation that the former “Empire” actor be kept away from most of the other 6,000 inmates of the sprawling jail complex in Little Village.

Jussie Smollett sentenced to 150 days in jail, ordered to pay back Chicago $120K
The order granting protective custody was entered shortly after Linn sentenced Smollett to 150 days in jail and 30 months of probation for lying to police about a phony racist and homophobic hate crime attack he orchestrated on himself in January 2019.

LINK: https://wgntv.com/news/chicago...-protective-custody/
 
Posts: 17282 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Ignored facts
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quote:
Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
Jussie Smollett’s time in the Cook County Jail will be spent in protective custody, away from the jail’s general population, court records show.

Cook County Judge Judge James Linn agreed with Smollett’s attorneys’ recommendation that the former “Empire” actor be kept away from most of the other 6,000 inmates of the sprawling jail complex in Little Village.

Jussie Smollett sentenced to 150 days in jail, ordered to pay back Chicago $120K
The order granting protective custody was entered shortly after Linn sentenced Smollett to 150 days in jail and 30 months of probation for lying to police about a phony racist and homophobic hate crime attack he orchestrated on himself in January 2019.

LINK: https://wgntv.com/news/chicago...-protective-custody/


The special treatment begins.


----------------------
Let's Go Brandon!
 
Posts: 10941 | Location: 45 miles from the Pacific Ocean | Registered: February 28, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
McNoob
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quote:
Originally posted by corsair:
Watched it a second time....

Juicy couldn't remember the order of his performance 'Do I say I respect you judge, before or, after the verdict? Gotta make sure they know I'm suicidal, I mean NOT suicidal! I'm not! Remember to give the salute, raise your fist into the face of LGB, I mean raise the first for..oh no, I'm going to jail'


Hopelessly delusional.




"We've done four already, but now we're steady..."
 
Posts: 1736 | Location: MN | Registered: November 20, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Coin Sniper
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Enjoy jail dirt bag.




Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys

343 - Never Forget

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There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive.
 
Posts: 38006 | Location: Above the snow line in Michigan | Registered: May 21, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Peace through
superior firepower
Picture of parabellum
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quote:
Originally posted by radioman:
The special treatment begins.
Stow it
 
Posts: 107750 | Registered: January 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Ripley
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quote:
Originally posted by xantom:

Hopelessly delusional.


I can see him killing himself just to make a point even he doesn't understand. Red Face




Set the controls for the heart of the Sun.
 
Posts: 8367 | Location: Flown-over country | Registered: December 25, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Peace through
superior firepower
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Rattlesnakes don't commit suicide.
 
Posts: 107750 | Registered: January 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Hopefully he won't have any mirrors.
 
Posts: 2544 | Location: KY | Registered: October 20, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Shall Not Be Infringed
Picture of nhracecraft
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Could we get this thread's title changed to 'Actor & Convicted Felon Jussie Smollett's Jail Sentence Begins After Years of Delay'...Whaddya Think? Wink


____________________________________________________________

If Some is Good, and More is Better.....then Too Much, is Just Enough !!
Trump 2024....Save America!
"May Almighty God bless the United States of America" - parabellum 7/26/20
Live Free or Die!
 
Posts: 8960 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: October 29, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Peace through
superior firepower
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The OP can change if it he wishes
 
Posts: 107750 | Registered: January 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Shall Not Be Infringed
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I did check the OP, and was really directing my 'suggestion' towards ZSMICHAEL, not implying an admin/moderator take the initiative to do so...


____________________________________________________________

If Some is Good, and More is Better.....then Too Much, is Just Enough !!
Trump 2024....Save America!
"May Almighty God bless the United States of America" - parabellum 7/26/20
Live Free or Die!
 
Posts: 8960 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: October 29, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Lets just leave it. I think most folks will reach that conclusion.
 
Posts: 17282 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
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quote:
Originally posted by Ripley:
quote:
Originally posted by xantom:

Hopelessly delusional.


I can see him killing himself just to make a point even he doesn't understand. Red Face


I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 53122 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Protective custody is no picnic. Not sure about Cook County. CPDsig would know. Some jails keep those folks on a special unit locked down 23 hours a day.
 
Posts: 17282 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drug Dealer
Picture of Jim Shugart
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I would worry about 'food additives' at the very least.



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
 
Posts: 15491 | Location: Virginia | Registered: July 03, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Glorious SPAM!
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The best part was that he had to go to jail right away. There was no "report in at this date".

As far as protective custody goes, meh. Not like he'll be at the Ritz. Isn't PC sort of like solitary anyway? Protect him from the other guys and protect him from himself?

This way he won't be able to regale his cellmate with his tales of derring do Smile
 
Posts: 10635 | Registered: June 13, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Cook county is more like OZ, the series. Most inmates would prefer the general population to socialize with other inmates and pass the time. Jail if very loud,smelly and incredibly boring. It changes you forever.
 
Posts: 17282 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by PASig:I wonder if he thinks this will get him separated from the general population or given special treatment?


"Special treatment" in jail usually means 23 hour a day isolation and one hour for exercise, if that. It's not all it's cracked up to be, or so I've been told by guys who've gone through it. And there may be a modesty smock instead of jail scrubs to wear if they do think he is the least bit suicidal.

I'm really indifferent, but community service is always an option. 8 hours a day picking up trash along the highway tends to humble people, and inmates don't even get a sharp stick to do it.
 
Posts: 632 | Registered: June 11, 2018Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Optimistic Cynic
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Hey, if he's put on suicide watch, at least he'll be on TV (closed-circuit)!

Want some real punishment? Put him in a cell that doesn't have a mirror!

Frankly, it is a damn shame that hanging him with his own noose wasn't an option.
 
Posts: 6514 | Location: NoVA | Registered: July 22, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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