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Festina Lente
Picture of feersum dreadnaught
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by rsbolo:
I was going to post a Chemistry joke.

Then I thought, "Na"


I reacted intensely to this + H2O



NRA Life Member - "Fear God and Dreadnaught"
 
Posts: 8295 | Location: in the red zone of the blue state, CT | Registered: October 15, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Dances With
Tornados
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by DrDan:


"Did you know you can string beans, but you can't pea soup?"


Turns out you can roast beef, but you can't pea soup. Or so the urologist tells me.
.
 
Posts: 11782 | Registered: October 26, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Shit don't
mean shit
posted Hide Post
What do you call a fish with 2 knees? A two knee fish!

Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank!

<for boys only> How many knees do you have? 2?...I have 4...A right knee, a left knee, a hiney and a wienie!
 
Posts: 5714 | Location: 7400 feet in Conifer CO | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My other Sig
is a Steyr.
Picture of .38supersig
posted Hide Post
Did you hear about the mom who told a dad joke?



It was a faux pa.




 
Posts: 9060 | Location: Somewhere looking for ammo that nobody has at a place I haven't been to for a pistol I couldn't live without... | Registered: December 02, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Another chemistry one:

If H2O is inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
.
.
.
K9P
 
Posts: 14 | Registered: September 17, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
eh-TEE-oh-clez
Picture of Aeteocles
posted Hide Post
Did you know that in Hawaii they don't give full laughs? Just a low "Ha".
 
Posts: 13045 | Location: Orange County, California | Registered: May 19, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Not as lean, not as mean,
Still a Marine
Picture of Gibb
posted Hide Post
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

I stayed up all night to see where the dark went, then it dawned on me.

I once saw a baseball getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger... then it hit me.

The air mover in the living room always makes me feel appreciated... you could say it's my biggest fan.




I shall respect you until you open your mouth, from that point on, you must earn it yourself.
 
Posts: 3350 | Location: Southern Maine | Registered: February 10, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
What's brown and sticky?

A stick!
 
Posts: 695 | Registered: February 24, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
delicately calloused
Picture of darthfuster
posted Hide Post
That's a nice ham you have there. It would be a shame if it had an 's' in front and and 'e' behind.....



You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier
 
Posts: 29507 | Location: Highland, Ut. | Registered: May 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Kid: I'm hungry.

Dad: I'm dad, nice to meet you hungry.


TS
 
Posts: 858 | Location: California | Registered: March 27, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
half-genius,
half-wit
posted Hide Post
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung..............................
 
Posts: 11293 | Location: UK, OR, ONT | Registered: July 10, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
delicately calloused
Picture of darthfuster
posted Hide Post
I buy all of my guns from a T-rex because he’s my small arms dealer.



You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier
 
Posts: 29507 | Location: Highland, Ut. | Registered: May 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Failing to prepare is
preparing to fail.
Picture of SigLaw
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by towershot:
Kid: I'm hungry.

Dad: I'm dad, nice to meet you hungry.


TS


This is a classic and one I heard often from my late dad.


________________________
"Don't mistake activity for achievement." John Wooden, "Wooden on Leadership"
 
Posts: 1347 | Location: Gilbert, AZ | Registered: November 08, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
half-genius,
half-wit
posted Hide Post
What do you call a Chinese lady with a food mixer on her head?

Blender.
 
Posts: 11293 | Location: UK, OR, ONT | Registered: July 10, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Mistake Not...
Picture of Loswsmith
posted Hide Post
What do you do with an electric wok?

You throw it at an electric wabbit.


___________________________________________
Life Member NRA & Washington Arms Collectors

Mistake not my current state of joshing gentle peevishness for the awesome and terrible majesty of the towering seas of ire that are themselves the milquetoast shallows fringing my vast oceans of wrath.

Velocitas Incursio Vis - Gandhi
 
Posts: 1935 | Location: T-town in the 253 | Registered: January 16, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No double standards
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Angus the Kid:
quote:
Originally posted by TigerDore:
quote:
Originally posted by Angus the Kid:
Two guys walk into a bar.

1st guy says, "I'll have H two O"

2nd guy says, "I'll have H two O too"

The 2nd guy dies.

Dad joke, if your dad was a chemistry major. But wouldn't the second guy just puke?



.


No. In pure form, it's deadly.


My dad was a chemist (really).

Johnny was a chemist,
Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H2O,
Was H2SO4




"Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women. When it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it....While it lies there, it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it"
- Judge Learned Hand, May 1944
 
Posts: 30668 | Location: UT | Registered: November 11, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drug Dealer
Picture of Jim Shugart
posted Hide Post
The Holy Father must qualify as a 'dad'.

The pope developed a rare disease which his physicians determined could only be cured by his having sex with a woman. At first he refused but finally gave in to the proposed therapy but he specified three conditions.

1 - She must be blind so she couldn't identify her partner.

2 - She must be a deaf-mute so she couldn't tell even if she knew.

3 - {The pope asked the docs to lean close so that he could whisper...}

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Big tits.



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
 
Posts: 15460 | Location: Virginia | Registered: July 03, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of sigcrazy7
posted Hide Post
What did one saggy boob say to the other?

We’d better get a little support around here, or people will start thinking we’re nuts.



Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well. -Epictetus
 
Posts: 8184 | Location: Utah | Registered: December 18, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Captain Morgan
posted Hide Post
I used to date a midgit but we broke up.
I was nuts over her.



Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.
Benjamin Franklin
 
Posts: 3842 | Location: Sparta, NJ USA | Registered: August 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Charmingly unsophisticated
Picture of AllenInAR
posted Hide Post
Did you hear the Beastie Boys are releasing a five volume anthology of all their songs?

Parts A thru D are free to download, but you have to fight for the right to part E.


_______________________________

The artist formerly known as AllenInWV
 
Posts: 16160 | Location: Harrison, AR | Registered: February 05, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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