How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You 'neek up on him.


How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.



Mary Jane was walking along the beach when she saw a man in the ocean yelling "Help, shark!".

Mary Jane just laughed and laughed. She knew that shark wouldn't help that man.

Dad joke, but for older kids:

How do you catch an elephant?

You dig a big enough hole, fill it with ashes, and put a row of peas around the rim.

When the elephant steps up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.

Q: Why is a pterodactyl so quiet in the bathroom?

A: The 'p' is silent.

This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an

unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which

came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he

would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink. So he

asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me

and have a root beer?"

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he

waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going out and

having a cup of coffee with me?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a

few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one

more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and

shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a

drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm

putting on my shoes."

The electricity was out at the local elementary school. The students were de-lighted.

After over 100 years at the bottom of the ocean the pools, bath tubs, and toilets of the Titanic are still full of water.

Rene' Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks if he would like a drink.
Descartes replies "I think not", and vanishes.

What do you call an paper airplane that wont fly?



Stationary.

Why did the old man fall into a well? He just couldn't see that well.

My pronouns are he, he, he.

I identify as a comedian.

Why can't the toilet paper cross the road?

It keeps getting stuck in the cracks.

My favorite one. It brought the house down at a Boy Scout meeting one night.

“Why are the ships of the Norwegian Navy all bar-coded?

So when they come into port, they can scandinavian.”