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I have lived the
greatest adventure
Picture of AUTiger89
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How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You 'neek up on him.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.

Mary Jane was walking along the beach when she saw a man in the ocean yelling "Help, shark!".

Mary Jane just laughed and laughed. She knew that shark wouldn't help that man.

Phone's ringing, Dude.
Posts: 6009 | Location: Upstate SC | Registered: April 06, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
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Dad joke, but for older kids:

How do you catch an elephant?

You dig a big enough hole, fill it with ashes, and put a row of peas around the rim.

When the elephant steps up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.

Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
Posts: 15128 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of V-Tail
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Q: Why is a pterodactyl so quiet in the bathroom?

A: The 'p' is silent.

הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
Posts: 30388 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Krazeehorse
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This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an

unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which

came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he

would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink. So he

asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me

and have a root beer?"

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he

waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going out and

having a cup of coffee with me?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a

few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one

more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and

shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a

drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm

putting on my shoes."


Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you.
Posts: 5675 | Location: Ohio | Registered: December 27, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Not really from Vienna
Picture of arfmel
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The electricity was out at the local elementary school. The students were de-lighted.
Posts: 26788 | Location: Jerkwater, Texas | Registered: January 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Coin Sniper
Picture of Rightwire
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After over 100 years at the bottom of the ocean the pools, bath tubs, and toilets of the Titanic are still full of water.

Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys

343 - Never Forget

Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat

There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive.
Posts: 37850 | Location: Above the snow line in Michigan | Registered: May 21, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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