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I have lived the
greatest adventure
Picture of AUTiger89
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How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You 'neek up on him.


How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.



Mary Jane was walking along the beach when she saw a man in the ocean yelling "Help, shark!".

Mary Jane just laughed and laughed. She knew that shark wouldn't help that man.




Phone's ringing, Dude.
 
Posts: 6009 | Location: Upstate SC | Registered: April 06, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
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Dad joke, but for older kids:

How do you catch an elephant?

You dig a big enough hole, fill it with ashes, and put a row of peas around the rim.

When the elephant steps up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
 
Posts: 15128 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
אַרְיֵה
Picture of V-Tail
posted Hide Post
Q: Why is a pterodactyl so quiet in the bathroom?

A: The 'p' is silent.



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
 
Posts: 30388 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Krazeehorse
posted Hide Post
This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an

unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which

came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he

would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink. So he

asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me

and have a root beer?"

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he

waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going out and

having a cup of coffee with me?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a

few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one

more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and

shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a

drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm

putting on my shoes."


_____________________

Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you.
 
Posts: 5675 | Location: Ohio | Registered: December 27, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Not really from Vienna
Picture of arfmel
posted Hide Post
The electricity was out at the local elementary school. The students were de-lighted.
 
Posts: 26788 | Location: Jerkwater, Texas | Registered: January 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Coin Sniper
Picture of Rightwire
posted Hide Post
After over 100 years at the bottom of the ocean the pools, bath tubs, and toilets of the Titanic are still full of water.




Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys

343 - Never Forget

Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat

There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive.
 
Posts: 37850 | Location: Above the snow line in Michigan | Registered: May 21, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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