November 19, 2020, 12:37 PM
feersum dreadnaughtDad jokes....
quote:
Originally posted by rsbolo:
I was going to post a Chemistry joke.
Then I thought, "Na"
I reacted intensely to this + H2O
NRA Life Member - "Fear God and Dreadnaught"
November 19, 2020, 12:49 PM
OKCGenequote:
Originally posted by DrDan:
"Did you know you can string beans, but you can't pea soup?"
Turns out you can roast beef, but you can't pea soup. Or so the urologist tells me.
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November 19, 2020, 03:42 PM
1967GoatWhat do you call a fish with 2 knees? A two knee fish!
Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank!
<for boys only> How many knees do you have? 2?...I have 4...A right knee, a left knee, a hiney and a wienie!
November 19, 2020, 03:45 PM
.38supersigDid you hear about the mom who told a dad joke?
It was a
faux pa.
November 19, 2020, 03:55 PM
stuart99Another chemistry one:
If H2O is inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
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K9P
November 19, 2020, 04:04 PM
AeteoclesDid you know that in Hawaii they don't give full laughs? Just a low "Ha".
November 19, 2020, 05:12 PM
GibbI tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
I stayed up all night to see where the dark went, then it dawned on me.
I once saw a baseball getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger... then it hit me.
The air mover in the living room always makes me feel appreciated... you could say it's my biggest fan.
I shall respect you until you open your mouth, from that point on, you must earn it yourself. November 19, 2020, 07:42 PM
PKFanWhat's brown and sticky?
A stick!
November 19, 2020, 07:47 PM
darthfusterThat's a nice ham you have there. It would be a shame if it had an 's' in front and and 'e' behind.....
You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier November 19, 2020, 10:42 PM
towershotKid: I'm hungry.
Dad: I'm dad, nice to meet you hungry.
TS
November 20, 2020, 05:38 AM
tacfoleyWhat's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung..............................
November 20, 2020, 10:39 AM
darthfusterI buy all of my guns from a T-rex because he’s my small arms dealer.
You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier November 20, 2020, 12:54 PM
SigLawquote:
Originally posted by towershot:
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad: I'm dad, nice to meet you hungry.
TS
This is a classic and one I heard often from my late dad.
________________________
"Don't mistake activity for achievement." John Wooden, "Wooden on Leadership"
November 20, 2020, 12:59 PM
tacfoleyWhat do you call a Chinese lady with a food mixer on her head?
Blender.
November 20, 2020, 01:06 PM
LoswsmithWhat do you do with an electric wok?
You throw it at an electric wabbit.
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Life Member NRA & Washington Arms Collectors
Mistake not my current state of joshing gentle peevishness for the awesome and terrible majesty of the towering seas of ire that are themselves the milquetoast shallows fringing my vast oceans of wrath.
Velocitas Incursio Vis - Gandhi
November 20, 2020, 01:19 PM
Scoutmasterquote:
Originally posted by Angus the Kid:
quote:
Originally posted by TigerDore:
quote:
Originally posted by Angus the Kid:
Two guys walk into a bar.
1st guy says, "I'll have H two O"
2nd guy says, "I'll have H two O too"
The 2nd guy dies.
Dad joke, if your dad was a chemistry major. But wouldn't the second guy just puke?
.
No. In pure form, it's deadly.
My dad was a chemist (really).
Johnny was a chemist,
Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H2O,
Was H2SO4
"Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women. When it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it....While it lies there, it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it"
- Judge Learned Hand, May 1944 November 20, 2020, 08:50 PM
Jim ShugartThe Holy Father must qualify as a 'dad'.
The pope developed a rare disease which his physicians determined could only be cured by his having sex with a woman. At first he refused but finally gave in to the proposed therapy but he specified three conditions.
1 - She must be blind so she couldn't identify her partner.
2 - She must be a deaf-mute so she couldn't tell even if she knew.
3 - {The pope asked the docs to lean close so that he could whisper...}
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Big tits.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
February 11, 2024, 10:45 PM
sigcrazy7What did one saggy boob say to the other?
We’d better get a little support around here, or people will start thinking we’re nuts.
Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well. -Epictetus February 12, 2024, 05:33 AM
Captain MorganI used to date a midgit but we broke up.
I was nuts over her.
Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.
Benjamin Franklin February 12, 2024, 07:06 AM
AllenInARDid you hear the Beastie Boys are releasing a five volume anthology of all their songs?
Parts A thru D are free to download, but you have to fight for the right to part E.
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The artist formerly known as AllenInWV