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| Unapologetic Old School Curmudgeon  |
The Lord said to John, come forth and receive eternal life. But he came in fifth, and only got a toaster. Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day | ||
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Serenity now! |
Why was 6 afraid of 7? . . . . Because 7 8 9 Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice. ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ | |||
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I run trains! |
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote. I thought to myself, “Whoa, this changes everything!” Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. Complacency sucks… | |||
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| Eating elephants one bite at a time  |
Why does a chicken coop have two doors? If it had four it would be a sedan. | |||
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chickenshit |
Then tell this one in Yoda voice... <Yoda voice> Why was 6 afraid of 9 <Yoda voice> Because 7 9 8 ____________________________ Yes, Para does appreciate humor. | |||
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Raptorman |
How can you tell when a satellite is going to reenter the atmosphere? You read its orbituary. ____________________________ Eeewwww, don't touch it! Here, poke at it with this stick. | |||
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Shaman |
I grabbed what I thought was milk out of the fridge and got a spanking for it. Turns out it was whipping cream.  He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. | |||
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| Banned |
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!" | |||
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| Member |
Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted. | |||
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Now in Florida |
Think you mean "Because 9 7 8" | |||
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Certified Plane Pusher |
19 fought 20... 21 Situation awareness is defined as a continuous extraction of environmental information, integration of this information with previous knowledge to form a coherent mental picture in directing further perception and anticipating future events. Simply put, situational awareness mean knowing what is going on around you. | |||
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| Unapologetic Old School Curmudgeon |
Why were the star wars movies released in off order 4,5,6 then 1,2,3? Because in charge of planning Yoda was Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day | |||
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Legalize the Constitution |
I like this one _______________________________________________________ despite them | |||
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Member |
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere. . | |||
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| chickenshit |
Ha! I goofed up the dad joke! ____________________________ Yes, Para does appreciate humor. | |||
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Optimistic Cynic |
My Dad would tell this one every chance he got: Did you hear the one about the three eggs? No? Too bad! | |||
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Member |
My grandfather used to love to tell these two jokes, particularly to waitresses: "My name is Pete, but the P is silent, like in swimming." "Did you know you can string beans, but you can't pea soup?" This space intentionally left blank. | |||
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| I swear I had something for this |
When the joke become a dad joke? When it became apparent... | |||
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| I'm not laughing WITH you  |
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1cnJ_pOAdQ Rolan Kraps SASS Regulator Gainesville, Georgia. NRA Range Safety Officer NRA Certified Instructor - Pistol / Personal Protection Inside the Home | |||
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| In search of baseball, strippers, and guns |
What did One frog say to the other frog? Time’s fun when you’re having flies —————————————————— If the meek will inherit the earth, what will happen to us tigers? | |||
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