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Unapologetic Old
School Curmudgeon
Picture of Lord Vaalic
posted
The Lord said to John, come forth and receive eternal life.

But he came in fifth, and only got a toaster.




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
 
Posts: 10715 | Location: TN | Registered: December 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Serenity now!
Picture of 4x5
posted Hide Post
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
.
.
.
.
Because 7 8 9



Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ
 
Posts: 4919 | Location: Highland, UT | Registered: September 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I run trains!
Picture of SigM4
posted Hide Post
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote. I thought to myself, “Whoa, this changes everything!”



Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Complacency sucks…
 
Posts: 5423 | Location: Wichita, KS (for now)…always a Texan… | Registered: April 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eating elephants
one bite at a time
Picture of ffips
posted Hide Post
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

If it had four it would be a sedan.
 
Posts: 3569 | Location: in the southwest Atlanta metro area | Registered: September 10, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
chickenshit
Picture of rsbolo
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by 4x5:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
.
.
.
.
Because 7 8 9


Then tell this one in Yoda voice...

<Yoda voice> Why was 6 afraid of 9
<Yoda voice> Because 7 9 8


____________________________
Yes, Para does appreciate humor.
 
Posts: 8000 | Location: East Central FL | Registered: January 05, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Raptorman
Picture of Mars_Attacks
posted Hide Post
How can you tell when a satellite is going to reenter the atmosphere?

You read its orbituary.


____________________________

Eeewwww, don't touch it!
Here, poke at it with this stick.
 
Posts: 34025 | Location: North, GA | Registered: October 09, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Shaman
Picture of ScreamingCockatoo
posted Hide Post
I grabbed what I thought was milk out of the fridge and got a spanking for it.
Turns out it was whipping cream.





He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.
 
Posts: 39696 | Location: Atop the cockatoo tree | Registered: July 27, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Banned
posted Hide Post
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
 
Posts: 5 | Location: USA | Registered: May 30, 2018Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted.
 
Posts: 545 | Location: Ohio | Registered: April 13, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Now in Florida
Picture of ChicagoSigMan
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by rsbolo:
quote:
Originally posted by 4x5:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
.
.
.
.
Because 7 8 9


Then tell this one in Yoda voice...

<Yoda voice> Why was 6 afraid of 9
<Yoda voice> Because 7 9 8


Think you mean "Because 9 7 8"
 
Posts: 6056 | Location: FL | Registered: March 09, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Certified Plane Pusher
Picture of Phantom229
posted Hide Post
19 fought 20...

21



Situation awareness is defined as a continuous extraction of environmental information, integration of this information with previous knowledge to form a coherent mental picture in directing further perception and anticipating future events. Simply put, situational awareness mean knowing what is going on around you.
 
Posts: 7895 | Location: Around Lake Tapps, Wa | Registered: September 29, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unapologetic Old
School Curmudgeon
Picture of Lord Vaalic
posted Hide Post
Why were the star wars movies released in off order 4,5,6 then 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning Yoda was




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
 
Posts: 10715 | Location: TN | Registered: December 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Legalize the Constitution
Picture of TMats
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by ffips:
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

If it had four it would be a sedan.
I like this one


_______________________________________________________
despite them
 
Posts: 13090 | Location: Wyoming | Registered: January 10, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of TigerDore
posted Hide Post
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.



.
 
Posts: 8535 | Registered: September 26, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
chickenshit
Picture of rsbolo
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by ChicagoSigMan:
quote:
Originally posted by rsbolo:
quote:
Originally posted by 4x5:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
.
.
.
.
Because 7 8 9


Then tell this one in Yoda voice...

<Yoda voice> Why was 6 afraid of 9
<Yoda voice> Because 7 9 8


Think you mean "Because 9 7 8"


Ha! I goofed up the dad joke!


____________________________
Yes, Para does appreciate humor.
 
Posts: 8000 | Location: East Central FL | Registered: January 05, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Optimistic Cynic
Picture of architect
posted Hide Post
My Dad would tell this one every chance he got:

Did you hear the one about the three eggs? No? Too bad!
 
Posts: 6345 | Location: NoVA | Registered: July 22, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of DrDan
posted Hide Post
My grandfather used to love to tell these two jokes, particularly to waitresses:

"My name is Pete, but the P is silent, like in swimming."

"Did you know you can string beans, but you can't pea soup?"




This space intentionally left blank.
 
Posts: 4852 | Location: Florida | Registered: August 16, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I swear I had
something for this
posted Hide Post
When the joke become a dad joke?

When it became apparent...
 
Posts: 4079 | Location: Kansas City, MO | Registered: May 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'm not laughing
WITH you
Picture of Rolan_Kraps
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by rsbolo:
quote:
Originally posted by 4x5:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
.
.
.
.
Because 7 8 9




Then tell this one in Yoda voice...

<Yoda voice> Why was 6 afraid of 9
<Yoda voice> Because 7 9 8


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1cnJ_pOAdQ




Rolan Kraps
SASS Regulator
Gainesville, Georgia.
NRA Range Safety Officer
NRA Certified Instructor - Pistol / Personal Protection Inside the Home
 
Posts: 23577 | Location: Gainesville, GA | Registered: October 11, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
In search of baseball, strippers, and guns
posted Hide Post
What did One frog say to the other frog?



Time’s fun when you’re having flies


——————————————————

If the meek will inherit the earth, what will happen to us tigers?
 
Posts: 7796 | Location: Warrenton, VA | Registered: July 09, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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