Most people do not know the difference between casual and being an unkempt slob.

Times are indeed changing. Some for the better, some for the worse. Guess I shouldn't care all that much. Let them wear what they please, it simplifies how I judge them.

OK, I'm retired. I swore I wasn't going to any more weddings. My wife had a different opinion, and mine doesn't count. I don't even want to attend my own funeral. Again, my feelings don't count. So yes, I've attended 2 weddings and who knows how many funerals. I now realize I just have to go. Guess that includes even my own. I haven't looked to see if I still own a suit. At least since the rod fell in the closet. I used to own 2 of them. Both dark enough to satisfy the prudes here on the forum. One was for a skinny me, the other for a more comfortable me.

I have no clue if the fat one will fit, and I don't care. I've worn it with the button undone. The reality is you don't have time to get fitted for a suit between finding out someone important to "us" has croaked and the funeral. I'm not 'poor' financially. But I'm also not wasteful, and I'm not going to buy a succession of suits just in case.

The custom of funerals has thankfully started to fall apart. I don't want my widow wasting money on one. I'm pretty sure I won't enjoy it. She may need that money some day. I know how I disliked going to them and now its my son's decision to go or not. Their wives may have a different opinion. My father didn't have a funeral. My mother is now 99.25 and going strong. She won't have one and is donating her body to science. Her choice. I doubt if any scientist would want my sorry chemical mess. I can't even donate blood due to its contamination. All legal by the way.

quote:

Originally posted by SpinZone:
Dressing appropriately for special occasions seems to be a skill that is going extinct. While I don't think that a suit and tie is always required, dressing up from the daily casual wear acknowledges that the occasion is special.

I think it's beyond that. How many people when traveling or, dining out, actually put on a nice shirt/blouse? Nearly 10-years ago, with handful of couples we all went to Hawaii for a vacation. My g/f at the time and I, would would change before dinner, put on a clean polo, nice short, shoes, leather flips..you know, look the part. The first couple of nights, half the couples showed up like they just got back from the beach or were going to the stadium for a ballgame. By the last night, everyone got the hint and cleaned up nicely. The g/f's talked.

Back in the early '80s we had to fly to Germany as my father in law was in the hospital, very sick with cancer. Told my wife that if we wanted to see him alive again we had better saddle up and get over there. We did. First 5 or 6 days there I spent in the hospital with him. Massaging his legs, talking about old times, smuggling home cooked stuff in to him. (the staff knew it).

We got that phone call about 0400 that he had died. I called my brother in law who was supposed to handle the funeral. Fat chance. He went back to bed and we didn't see him until after the funeral.

Father in law was a high ranking official in the German Forest Service, so we had to have an official funeral. I ended up buying a suit so I could do what my brother in law was supposed to do. Not that I would not have bought a suit anyway, but that situation with BIL made it mandatory, and on very short notice.

I've been noticing that too, funerals and weddings.

quote:

Originally posted by dan03833:
I've been noticing that too, funerals and weddings.

And AIR TRAVEL! Folks used to somewhat dress up to travel by air. Now it's like going to Wal-Mart. If they don't stink it's a win. Much less not in sweats or pajamas.

When my mom passed in 1996 some douche canoe came to the visitation wearing White Short Shorts.

This guy must have just got a divorce and was prowling for a lady or two from his youth and thought shorts were the key.

quote:

Originally posted by FN in MT:

quote:

Originally posted by dan03833:
I've been noticing that too, funerals and weddings.

And AIR TRAVEL! Folks used to somewhat dress up to travel by air. Now it's like going to Wal-Mart. If they don't stink it's a win. Much less not in sweats or pajamas.

Don't even get me started on Air Travel.

IMO the well-dressed gentleman must always have to hand at least three suits:

• A "neutral" two-piece business suit (mine is a gray suit I refer to as my "IBM suit" )
  
• A three-piece suit suitable for weddings (mine is a blue pinstripe)
  
• A black three-piece suit for funerals
  

But I was brought up in a different place and time. A more civilized place and time, it seems.

I have seen men come to funerals in black or gray slacks, a black shirt, and tie. IMO that is the minimum acceptable attire for men at a funeral.

Getting to the point where a sign saying " Shirts and Shoes " required. It's a sad state of affairs. Sorry for the passing of your cousin. John.

quote:

Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:

quote:

Originally posted by FN in MT:

quote:

Originally posted by dan03833:
I've been noticing that too, funerals and weddings.

And AIR TRAVEL! Folks used to somewhat dress up to travel by air. Now it's like going to Wal-Mart. If they don't stink it's a win. Much less not in sweats or pajamas.

Don't even get me started on Air Travel.

...any and all travel; domestic, international, even cruises.

As you get older you tend to go to funerals more frequently and I have been to a lot. It seems the majority of the patrons dress and conduct themselves per the social status of the deceased.

How about Pall bearers? We just buried my cousin about three weeks ago. I was one of two that had a suit on. I know suits can be expensive and not everyone can afford them, but please at least have some decent clothes for events like this.

Not everyone going to a funeral needs to dress head to toe in black. Just something conservative and somewhat dressy. A grey sport coat with black slacks and open neck is fine in my book unless you're immediate family. Other such combos okay too. No plaid sports coat like you're on your way to Churchill Downs for the Derby. No sweat pants, no yoga pants for the ladies, no tee shirts or tank tops.

It bothers me we need to explain this to people.

I don’t get behavior like that. I wear a suit to any funeral even if I am not the one who knew them. I totally understand if someone doesn’t have a suit, but dresses up.

quote:

Originally posted by Kraquin:
As you get older you tend to go to funerals more frequently and I have been to a lot. It seems the majority of the patrons dress and conduct themselves per the social status of the deceased.

^^^^^
I went to the funeral of a retired judge a few years ago. I had rented office space from him when I was a young attorney and during that time became friends with the judge and his youngest son. The judge was the consummate gentleman and his wife was very proper and reserved. When he died, I was at the funeral in a dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie as was his youngest son. The oldest son? Ratty jeans and a Harley Davidson t-shirt. I can tell you for a fact the judge had never owned let alone ridden on a Harley but there was one of his sons acting like he was going to McDonalds.

quote:

Originally posted by corsair:

quote:

Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:

quote:

Originally posted by FN in MT:

quote:

Originally posted by dan03833:
I've been noticing that too, funerals and weddings.

And AIR TRAVEL! Folks used to somewhat dress up to travel by air. Now it's like going to Wal-Mart. If they don't stink it's a win. Much less not in sweats or pajamas.

Don't even get me started on Air Travel.

...any and all travel; domestic, international, even cruises.

Please start a new thread. This about dressing appropriately for an event (ie funeral) you’re supposed to be there to show respect. Dressing to fly is different, dressing for a cruise is different, dressing to dine out is different, dressing for school is different.

quote:

Originally posted by Kraquin:
....It seems the majority of the patrons dress and conduct themselves per the social status of the deceased.

What I observe around here is the majority of patrons paying their respects dress as they do "in their own social status". I now live in the country and when my 80 year old neighbor passed last year I somewhat expected this so I arrived at the funeral dressed down in just a sport coat and no tie. Her immediate relatives, the ones basically hosting the funeral, were somewhat well dressed in regular pants and button down shirts, one had a sport coat. The visitors were clothed in everything from khakis to blue jeans to camouflage hunting garb.
Somehow I found it really depressing that so many friends attending her funeral dressed for it no differently than they would to go to Dollar General.

Minimum is a dress shirt, slacks,tie, usually though a suit.

Exception, several times I have attended a biker funeral. Jeans, dress shirt either navy blue, black or a deep purple, also usually attend riding if weather permits.

has been almost 15yrs since wearing a suit for wedding or funeral.... new black jeans/long sleeve button down white shirt/bolo tie/clean black leather vest---------- once stood honor guard for a homeless veteran (military honors) which was put on hold for almost 3 months because the family could not/or/would not pay the funeral home for services...our veteran group stepped foward to be pallbearers as family didn"t.... family arrived at grave site in about 20 (high end high dollars cars and suv"s) and all were dressed in their sunday best church clothes... go figure........ drill sgt.