Seen it many times. I always dress nice and wear a tie to visitations and a suit to funerals. To me is a respect thing.

I haven't seen men wearing suits and/or ties to a funeral or wedding in years. I sure don't. I wear a nice dress style shirt and slacks and that is it.

unfortunately slobs abound. people seem to have absolutely no sense of decorum these days. it's digusting

I guess we all were raised in different circumstances. I've seen a few posts suggesting wearing a sport coat. I never in my life have owned a sport coat. Never wanted one, and thought that those wearing them were kind of odd. I owned and wore suits to work, from my days working for a CPA firm to my days in management of various business entities. In none of them was wearing a sport coat considered proper. Maybe sales staff did that kind of thing.

Just because you feel someone should wear a certain thing doesn't mean the rest of the world agrees. Nor does it mean you're right and they're wrong. Or that I'm right or wrong. I guess we'll end up admitting there are different standards of dress. If you don't accept it, you'll just have to understand others won't abide by your standards.

I expect folks to wear their best to the funeral. If that’s jeans and a tshirt, so be it. The fact that they came to pay their respect and offer sympathies is the important thing.

Visitation usually more casual. A lot are stopping in to or from work.

Showing up with no shirt, drunk or blatantly obnoxious won’t be tolerated though.

My mother's family are from humble backgrounds. Her sister and brother in law lived in a very small farming community in the middle of nowhere Missouri.

When my uncle passed several years back I donned a suit and attended his viewing and subsequent funeral. While at the viewing I was being constantly approached and asked about anything and everything you can imagine a funeral director being asked. The reason being that in those parts, only the funeral director wore a suit, and there I was looking just like one.

Fast forward a few years, and I'm attending the funeral of an acquaintance who was partners with one of my best friends. He passed unexpectedly.

Everybody is dressed properly, and many of those there are in dress uniform. As I enter the church I see a coworker of the deceased dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, flip flops, hat, and the hole nine yards.

Come to find out several months prior to his unexpected death, the two of them had been at another social event where alcohol was involved. They were contemplating life, and suggested that if one of them passed the other should attend the funeral in some outlandish dress. He honored his friend by living up to his promise.

Typically, I will wear a conservative, long, black dress to a funeral. My Dad passed away suddenly in March. His last visit with me (I live in a different state) we went shopping & he picked out a very pretty blouse for me. It is a bit "fancier" than what I usually wear with my professional work attire, but I figured I'd wear it more for special occasions. When my Dad died, I knew right away, I was wearing that blouse because of the special meaning it has with me.
I feel a bit torn because I was raised that you dress respectful for funerals, but many people do not & feel I should just be thankful that people are there to help out & be supportive.

“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t go to yours.” – Yogi Berra

quote:

Originally posted by tatortodd:
My 31 year old cousin once removed died in a car accident last week and I flew into the Upper Midwest for the funeral. The ONLY people wearing a suit at the funeral were her father (my cousin), the pastor, and myself. There was zero men wearing sport coats or ties. Some women wore modest black dresses.

My beef was the white trash dressing like they were going to the Dollar Store (not even fancy enough dressed for Walmart). I shit you not, people showed up wearing light gray sweat pants, wild colored yoga pants, blue jeans. Even if you're going to dress casual at least wear black. I suspect the only reason they weren't wearing fucking flip flops was because there was snow on the ground and it was one of the coldest days so far this winter.

I have seen this sort of behaviour as well here. Sad comment on today's society. . .

I live in central Florida.
Not only have I seen people wearing this kind dress for funerals but also weddings.

I always wear at least slacks, sport jacket, button down collared shirt, and tie to funerals, weddings, and graduations. I don't get all that upset when I see someone dressed less. T-shirt, shorts, and flip flops make me think it's inappropriate but I don't get all that upset by it. Actually I never give it a second thought.

I have wondered the same with the mentality. Several years ago, I attended a college graduation, then the party afterward. While I was there, Someone made the comment about why I was so dressed up. I wore a nice pair of khakis and a short sleeve buttoned up dress shirt. The mother of the graduate heard this and said "because his mother taught him well". I will never forget this!

quote:

Originally posted by flashguy:
I do not own a serviceable suit, and don't plan to buy one. For funerals I wear a long-sleeved button collared shirt and black trousers. I feel that is sufficiently respectful for the occasion. If you find that objectional, so be it.

flashguy

I don’t own a suit at all and barely have dress clothes. At least twice in the last 10 years I’ve had to go buy either a shirt or pants to attend a funeral. I always dress as you described and mangle a tie around my neck.

quote:

Originally posted by Bassamatic:
I haven't seen men wearing suits and/or ties to a funeral or wedding in years. I sure don't. I wear a nice dress style shirt and slacks and that is it.

Last wedding I attended was my niece's in 2018 near Austin. Approx 150 guests, the vast majority of men were wearing suits, most of them with ties (including me and my son). There were several gentlemen wearing western style denim suits with boots and hats. I did not notice anybody in everyday casual street clothes.

I agree about dressing appropriately, but I would rather people come looking a little ragged than not show up at all.

At my work we went bushiness casual about 15 years ago and since then my wardrobe has gotten very loose. That said, I have always made sure that I have a couple current solid sport coats, shirts and ties at the ready. Cleaned and zipped up in a garment bag in my closet. No excuses from me.

quote:

Originally posted by Leemur:

quote:

Originally posted by flashguy:
I do not own a serviceable suit, and don't plan to buy one. For funerals I wear a long-sleeved button collared shirt and black trousers. I feel that is sufficiently respectful for the occasion. If you find that objectional, so be it.

flashguy

I don’t own a suit at all and barely have dress clothes. At least twice in the last 10 years I’ve had to go buy either a shirt or pants to attend a funeral. I always dress as you described and mangle a tie around my neck.

I failed to mention that the shirt I wear at funerals is black. I even wear black shoes (my usual ones are buckskin color).

flashguy

quote:

I don’t own a suit at all and barely have dress clothes. At least twice in the last 10 years I’ve had to go buy either a shirt or pants to attend a funeral. I always dress as you described and mangle a tie around my neck.

I failed to mention that the shirt I wear at funerals is black. I even wear black shoes (my usual ones are buckskin color).

flashguy[/QUOTE]

I get it that if you're not often required to present in a jacket/suit it's hard to justify having one hanging in your closet. Consider though there are certain situations where you simply need a jacket. It actually makes dressing-up a bit very easy. A nice gray jacket or navy blazer that can be had for under $150 will go with just about any pants and goes a long way. Match that with your shirt of choice, be it button down, or a pull over left out of the pants. Once you've got the jacket on you're already a step up and there's no reason you can't wear such jacket with very casual pants when you go out to grab a bit, or go to a movie. Just send it to the cleaners every now and again to get the closet cooties off.

I see things a bit different with funerals and I’ll answer your question in my long rant. I think our whole viewpoint on them is absurd. I’ve been to too many in my life and I’ve had to watch two family members take their last breath and then had the displeasure to be involved in the funeral arrangements. I’ve even preached two different funerals. Yet I ask myself why we handle death like we do. It makes no sense if you forget how we’ve seen it done and just examine our rituals.

I do dress nice wearing what I wear to church but I despise our whole outlook on death. Normally most people at the funeral rarely see or talk with the deceased prior to them passing. Yet after they die and when the deceased has no way of knowing what is going on, we then make a big deal out of their life. We say we are honoring them but they don’t know what we are doing. Perhaps from a Christian viewpoint the departed have some knowledge of this world but there are no indications that they are viewing the funeral from another realm.

We spend tens of thousands on the funeral, flowers, fancy box, limo rides, hole in the ground and other nonsense. I’ve seen my mother-in-law drop $200 on a stupid notebook for people to sign at the funeral. We dress up and then normally tell lies about how great they were (I’ve been to way too many funerals and there has not been one where I didn’t hear lies told).

Really this is all for the living, not the dead. I’d prefer to bypass all the traditional nonsense, I told my wife to cremate me since it’s the cheapest. I don’t want money wasted on junk after I die. If anyone wants to see me they need to do it while I’m alive, I assure you after I die I won’t care anymore.

I do understand that funerals allow people to grieve and military funerals are one example of that. In a way I think it shows respect to our military that have died for us but yet again it’s all for the living, those that have passed don’t know what we are doing. If you haven’t noticed I hate funerals. Rejoice and praise your loved ones while they can hear it. Say nice things now while they are living.