My 31 year old cousin once removed died in a car accident last week and I flew into the Upper Midwest for the funeral. The ONLY people wearing a suit at the funeral were her father (my cousin), the pastor, and myself. There was zero men wearing sport coats or ties. Some women wore modest black dresses.

My beef was the white trash dressing like they were going to the Dollar Store (not even fancy enough dressed for Walmart). I shit you not, people showed up wearing light gray sweat pants, wild colored yoga pants, blue jeans. Even if you're going to dress casual at least wear black. I suspect the only reason they weren't wearing fucking flip flops was because there was snow on the ground and it was one of the coldest days so far this winter.

Welcome to the "New Normal" - People of Walmart - of the world we live in today where respect does not exist and old common sense has been flushed down the toilet.

You should have been at my FIL's funeral. My worthless POS BIL showed up drunk/stoned and tried to pass it off like it was a normal day. This moron hasn't held a JOB in decades and is in mid mid 50s!

Through my work I've seen several pictures of people at a funeral. There have been at least two locally where not all the men wore shirts. It's not that terribly unusual to see sweats and the like.

quote:

There have been at least two locally where not all the men wore shirts

Were they Chippendale dancers or construction workers, must have been interesting to have half dressed men in attendance!

As to the OP....


Living in FL I've been to a few, since it's a casual dress environment, and in the summer hot as heck, suits and coats are not required, but nice clothes are expected, wouldn't be all that surprised if someone showed up in shorts.

Dress codes have become lax however we agree on what is considered proper decorum for funerals..

I wouldn't have a funeral where the attendees were like that.
Seems like a waste of money. Maybe those people came expecting free beer.

My step-grandmother died a few years ago and my step-brother actually showed up at the funeral (his own grandmother) in June in Indiana wearing flip-flops, shorts and a worn-out polo shirt. When he was younger he always wore the best clothes, but now he is white trash.

Trust me the above is the polite, edited version about white trash behavior.

On the other hand, there was amazing acts of kindness too. Two people besides myself flew cross country to be there for my cousin. People set aside current and past grievances and were there to support my cousin.

Shameful. Absolutely shameful.

I understand that we've moved past the age of suits and many people don't even own one. Seriously though, a pair of decent pants and a dress shirt to have available for weddings and funerals shouldn't break the bank.

More to the point, in my opinion, is how did YOU dress?

If you dressed appropriately and according to the occasion, then you showed proper respect, and came away the better person.

I've sure noticed the "casual" dress at funerals in the last few years. Some, thankfully not all, look like they just came from a "People of Walmart" photo shoot.

I do not own a serviceable suit, and don't plan to buy one. For funerals I wear a long-sleeved button collared shirt and black trousers. I feel that is sufficiently respectful for the occasion. If you find that objectional, so be it.

flashguy

quote:

Originally posted by flashguy:
I do not own a serviceable suit, and don't plan to buy one. For funerals I wear a long-sleeved button collared shirt and black trousers. I feel that is sufficiently respectful for the occasion. If you find that objectional, so be it.

flashguy

I don't find anything objectionable about that. That type of dress would be appropriate for most occasions I would think.

I no longer own any suits, either, but I dress respectfully for funerals. Usually a back dress shirt and black slack My 2nd cousin, on the other hand, wore a Hawaii shirt to my grandmother's funeral. Of course, he owns an all male boarding house painted literally lavender, so I have always questioned his taste.

My Mother bought me several nice Hawaiian short sleeve shirts. She never saw me in a suit of any kind since our wedding decades earlier.

When she died a few years ago, I wore one of those shirts because she gave it to me. I wore a new pair of pressed WRANGLER jeans and shined black TONY LAMA boots. This is my typical attire. The funeral was in the middle of an AZ summer with temperatures well over 110 degrees that day.

She wouldn't have recognized me dressed in any other manner. And she wouldn't have complained that people wore what they were comfortable wearing.

I've seen funerals with folks dribbling basketballs while in line to enter the funeral home. Dressed in shorts, and a sleeveless colored shirt.

At the same funeral someone spilled beer on the deceased as some kind of black/gang gesture?

Shorts, PAJAMAS, sweats, yoga pants (usually worn by a woman who should NOT be in them) and flip flops seem to be the norm anymore for much of the population.

I have seen it at the last few funerals I have been too.

I used to be strictly dress pants, dress shirts, suits etc.. for funerals, weddings etc.. but i am learning that ideology is a thing of the past. Plus I have mellowed my thinking/beliefs.

I have no problem with jeans but at least make sure they do not have holes in them and at least a golf shirt or dress shirt.

I have never seen my father in a suit either in person or in a picture. About the closest thing to a suit I have seen my father in was his Class A uniform from the Army.

Everyone in my family will wear Dockers, dress pants and dress shirts.

Heck when I die, I will be happy if anyone shows up.

On New Years Eve, I bought a new navy blazer and grey slacks from Brooks Brothers, 60% off sale. My other navy blazer was too 90s. But I also own two suits, one slimmer cut, the other baggy, to cover the bases.

I can understand guys not owning suits, since it is basically almost a lost fashion. But the atrocious clothing choices on airplanes, nice restaurants, and yes weddings and funerals, is shameful. For Christ's sake, at least wear business casual at a funeral.

quote:

Originally posted by fpuhan:
More to the point, in my opinion, is how did YOU dress?

If you dressed appropriately and according to the occasion, then you showed proper respect, and came away the better person.

It’s right there in the OP - a suit and tie

quote:

Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:

quote:

Originally posted by flashguy:
I do not own a serviceable suit, and don't plan to buy one. For funerals I wear a long-sleeved button collared shirt and black trousers. I feel that is sufficiently respectful for the occasion. If you find that objectional, so be it.

flashguy

I don't find anything objectionable about that. That type of dress would be appropriate for most occasions I would think.

Nor do I and that’s why I didn’t rant about it.