My wife has finished school and will be starting a lucrative job in just about a month. I've been the sole income for the last three years while she was in school, but before that she had a good job, making about $10-15k more than me a year. Her new job will see her grossing nearly 3x my annual gross income.

How do you go about dividing income or sharing money when there's a big gap in incomes in a way that's fair?

We both came into our relationship 100% debt free and with good savings. We have rented for 10 years, so there's no house or mortgage. We have split all our bills 50/50 forever and kept our bank accounts separate. We both pay half of "our" stuff, she buys what she wants, I buy what I want. We even trade off who buys dinner, go halves on large expenses like furniture, etc. Hell, we even divide chores in half, mostly. We've never once argued about money in a decade of being together.

For context, aside from her student loans from the last three years (which she intends to aggressively pay off), we have more or less no debt except for a car payment on her car. She still has some decent savings left, as do I, and we don't intend to look for a house for a year until things settle.

Trying to think of an equitable way that we still both pay our own share, but account for the fact that she'll now make 3x as much as I do.

We don't divide ours at all. I have always made more, for 15 years my wife didn't work while she stayed at home with our son. Now she is working again, but I still make way more. But our money has always been ours, 100% shared.

And I also buy whatever I want, as does she, but I am the spender. She is cheap and doesn't like spending money, I see something I want and I buy it.

Continue with what you are doing. Sounds like you have a good relationship. You need to accept that she makes three times what you do. What if she lost her new job or was unable to work?

When we got married we went to one account. Mrs. Mike makes over 100k and gets large bonuses-I make $25k annually on my medical retirement because I don’t work. If I did I would have to either discontinue my medical retirement or pay the state anything I made over $50k (my pay prior to medical retirement).

I initially felt I didn’t contribute as I wasn’t making hardly anything-she said that my payment made the house note and kept us in a home. Now we are completely debt free since Feb 2022. Everything goes to funding college, regular bills or retirement funding.

If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t worry about it. Continue doing what you are doing- separate accounts seems to work for you.

Don’t sweat it.

We don't divide our income .Marriage is a partnership .

Divide? Hahahaha! Divide, he says

Right?

In my situation what’s hers is hers, and what’s mine is ours.

We don't divide our income...It's OUR Money!

I really think the answer is whatever makes you guys happy. My only question about your situation is did she pay 1/2 of the expenses from her savings the last three years while she was in school? If not, and you paid all expenses, then it would seem to me to be a little unfair if she just resumes paying 1/2.

I think there is more than one way to handle the situation. One alternative would be for you each to contribute to common expenses in proportion to your incomes, so if she makes more she pays a larger portion. Or continue with the 50/50 split.

But truly, you and she have to be happy with the arrangement. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks is fair.

I am Program Manager and make abou 2x what my wife earns at a high school.

Since I deal with finances all day/week/month long, she takes care of the household finances.

I get what I want after asking her if we can afford it. The only division of monies is that what she earns goes into her shared account and my monies go into my shared account.

quote:

Originally posted by selogic:
We don't divide our income. Marriage is a partnership.

Same here. All income goes into one checking account; bills are paid from there. Excess goes into various savings. All accounts are joint. Who makes more has varied over the years; it's changing again as we both move into retirement.

However, as others have said, do what's best for the two of you.

No dividing here. Just one pot of money from two incomes that pay the bills and puts a few shekels aside for retirement.

Wife and I never split money into yours and mine just felt it was a bad way to start. But we have been married for almost 45 years now. But it is certainly the way younger kids do it. All my kids who are married all have separate accounts from their spouses and split all living costs equally. I guess if it works it's works but doing finances that way never crossed our minds really back in the day.

We do not divide our income or split expenses - it’s all family income and family expense. Married 41 years, so it seems to help.

What's mine is hers, and what's hers is her own.



.

We don't divide. Our money is our money. We pay the bills, pay our savings, and each of us take a small, equal stipend to do with as we please.

If you both keep what's yours with such a huge disparity how's it going to work in your relationship if she's always got the money to run around and do what she wants and you don't have the money to do it with her?

quote:

Originally posted by selogic:
We don't divide our income. Marriage is a partnership.

This ^^^^^

My wife does have her own bank account. It's money left over from her inheritance. (The rest of it paid for our sailboat.) But, other than that, and some personal possessions that are hers and some that are mine, it's all one shared thing.

1 combined acct, 13 years now.
She stayed home the first ~5-6 years when we had kids, ran her own business for a few years & was making significantly more than me, then it worked down to breaking even & she went back to working for someone else & our incomes aren't significantly different.

Neither of us are big spenders & we tend to talk out any bigger purchases.

we figured this out many years ago. Out of my income, I pay all the bills. Gas, electric, water insurance home and cars TV service cars we bought and gas and upkeep for our vehicles. My wife, out of her income she buys groceries, her own upkeep like Nails, hair, cloths and not much else. If situations dictate and she needs more cash for something or the other, I'll pick it up. She asks and I don't question it.

It is of course all our money, but we both like having our own to work with and budget. If times are tight, I watch expenses, and if there's some money to play with I don't need to ask permission to buy something not needed but wanted. She doesn't question that as long as bills are paid. Same with her. We sit down every month or so and go through finances. Investments and the like so we both know the status. We have a quarterly meeting with our Fidelity advisor, and every detail is on the table. No secrets.