SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge How do you divide up spousal income in your family when there's a big gap in income?
Main Page The Lounge How do you divide up spousal income in your family when there's a big gap in income?Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply | |
Still finding my way |
This above all else. As long as you both respect each other and work together to solve problems rather than try to be right there is nothing that can't be worked out. | |||
|
| Not as lean, not as mean, Still a Marine  |
Given that every few months we go through our credit reports together, would be quite difficult to hide anything. Her separate cards are point cards to her 2 favorite stores, my separate card is a travel card for my per diem expenses at work. Like I said, communication is key. Normally I pay the bills, but she does it when I'm away. No way to hide it when we both see the in/out every month. I shall respect you until you open your mouth, from that point on, you must earn it yourself. | |||
|
| Do No Harm, Do Know Harm |
I didn’t read everything, but I handle the household budget and this is a thing I have to figure out. I start at the top with all the annual bills divided into monthly requirements. Everything. Every single predictable penny, and a little extra. Then I add the net incomes together. Whatever is left over from the net incomes once all the monthly obligations are met, an agreeable (pretty large) portion goes into savings. What’s left after that is split 50/50 as “fun” money to be done with as desired without question. Automatic deductions are then set up from either paychecks or deposit accounts for all that money to go exactly where it’s supposed to be, without having to think about it or touch it. No surprises. No concerns about who makes what. Re-evaluate every 6 months, or if a significant change occurs. Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here. Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard. -JALLEN "All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones | |||
|
Knowing is Half the Battle |
Feeding, housing, clothing, transporting, schooling and entertaining 3 kids takes all of our money. Mrs. Scuba makes more than me, but after all of the above expenses we do what we please with the $3 or $4 per week we have. She buys dumb stuff on Amazon, I buy dumb gun stuff. | |||
|
| Member |
I have a similar story and the statistics are on our side to not only have a better financial future but a better marriage in general because if you can openly and happily neatly talk about money you can be open and honest about everything. Not saying you can’t have a great marriage setting it up like roommates but the odds are worse. The main reason is seeing the marriage as a team that is working together for the same goal. If you notice most of the people who keep everything separate had bad experiences before or they are concerned about the spending habits of one of them. Instead of having open communication and an agreed upon plan it’s easier to set an allowance for each person so I can spend mine and she can spend hers how she wants. That creates different directions as far as a financial arrangement plan and carries over to other aspects in life. I would love to see a statistic on divorce and what the financial arrangement is. I know what it is and n my friend group so I have my suspicions. | |||
|
| Member |
My wife and I split household expenses roughly along the lines of our share of the household income. We have our own accounts and we have a joint account. It works for us and the only "money fight" we've ever had is one of us thinking the other is paying too much. It has worked well for us for seven years. I know that's a drop in the bucket compared to some. I am disappointed by some of the comments trying to claim that this somehow makes our partnership less than somebody else's. | |||
|
Member |
Always made ~double the wife, even now our social security... One pot. Endeavor to persevere. | |||
|
blame canada |
I hope you didn't get that from my post. My intention was to share my experience with couples who've tried it both ways. I've witnessed healthier marriages from those who share 100%/100% as I call it. Rather than approaching this topic from a "you're doing it wrong" camp, I'd much rather be seen as stating, "I've seen better success doing it this way" I do not post from a position of condemnation, but intended encouragement to consider a different perspective through experience. Several people have shared another good piece of advice, which is for each person in the relationship to have some freedom to pursue wants and desires for financial expenses without guilt. Guilt is often a wedge in a relationship. Right up there with contempt and jealousy. All three are bad things for marriage, and the counter concepts of freedom, empowerment, satisfaction, and happiness breed far better success. Communication and understanding are the basic building blocks for finding better outcomes in a relationship. Each person and marriage has its own dynamics, so each solution should be tailored specifically for the parties involved. Some basic concepts and methods can be helpful, but none of us here should be throwing out absolutes. I can think of a few absolutely bad ideas...like deception, over-spending, and harmful behaviors, but no one here is proposing such things. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The trouble with our Liberal friends...is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." Ronald Reagan, 1964 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Arguing with some people is like playing chess with a pigeon. It doesn't matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon will just take a shit on the board, strut around knocking over all the pieces and act like it won.. and in some cases it will insult you at the same time." DevlDogs55, 2014  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |||
|
| Member |
Same here. My wife and I have a spreadsheet. In the spreadsheet, we calculate the total household income and then from there, we calculate what share each person makes up. Then we have the spreadsheet calculate all the bills and throw out a monthly total based on our portion of the income. We get paid on opposite Fridays so every Friday, 1/4 of the total monthly bills ends up in the account. As long as the bills are paid, the rest of the money is yours. If I buy a $2000 gun, she doesn’t complain. She buys a $2000 purse or spends $400 on her hair, I don’t complain. This was significantly more important when I made about 66% of the income. Now I’m actually making about 48.5% of the income after a few job changes and big raises by the wife, but we just split it 50/50. There’s a realistic chance she’ll be above $150K in the next half decade…maybe we can refigure things then. There were times when she was finishing undergrad (I was already a cop then) and we were just dating where I would have to pay for her groceries or put gas in her car. There were times where I bought the furniture or paid the vet bills or what have you because she just didn’t make a ton of money. I didn’t keep track of those things and wait for her to repay me. Part of what makes this a partnership is that we sacrifice some of our personal money for the other person when they needed it more. We don’t have to share all of our funds 100% of the time to show we are on the same team in this. I love the arrangement we have, and though one of us may be operating in the red compared to the other one, it no doubt helps our relationship by removing one major stressor and that is an invaluable benefit. ****************************** May our caskets be made of hundred-year oak, and may we plant those trees tomorrow. | |||
|
thin skin can't win |
Why??
You guys sound like a blast.  You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02 | |||
|
| Member |
Your sarcasm is certainly not necessary. I spent 30 minutes, 7+ years ago, making this spreadsheet so that any change in income or bills would automatically calculate the balance due from each person. It takes nothing more than a very basic (like junior high level) understanding of Microsoft Excel/Google Sheets to do this. Would it have been more “fun” of me to write this stuff down in a notebook and calculate everything manually every time? ****************************** May our caskets be made of hundred-year oak, and may we plant those trees tomorrow. | |||
|
| Music's over turn out the lights  |
My wife makes a butt load more than me, all of our money goes into one pot. We have been doing that since day one and it works fine. David W. Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud. -Sophocles | |||
|
| Lucky to be Irish |
Our situation has changed over the years. Before I retired I made about 2x my wife’s income. I’m retired now and she’ll retire in a few years. We’ve always pooled our money and never had an issue. I paid the bills for several years but now she pays them and I manage our retirement stuff. 30+ years; so far so good!  | |||
|
| would not care to elaborate  |
The smart ones are those who work out a plan, and are fortunate if both parties can understand, agree and comply, at least within reason. The plan can be more ornate, or less so, as seen above. It's hazardous if there is no plan, or one or both get off the tracks. None of this is easy. | |||
|
| A teetotaling beer aficionado  |
This is usually a symptom of a marriage deteriorating. Love, trust and the desire to work as a partners is gone and one partner believes they are entitled to more. . Men fight for liberty and win it with hard knocks. Their children, brought up easy, let it slip away again, poor fools. And their grandchildren are once more slaves. -D.H. Lawrence | |||
|
| Not as lean, not as mean, Still a Marine |
Years ago we had a rash of credit theft from a bank hack. Not full on ID theft, but enough to cause a headache. Where my wife works in mortgages, her credit rating is important. We go through to make sure there is nothing fraudulent, and we'll alter the use of our cards to benefit each other's scores as needed. It works for us, and that's really what matters in the end. I shall respect you until you open your mouth, from that point on, you must earn it yourself. | |||
|
| Member |
This… | |||
|
| Powered by Social Strata | Page 1 2 3 4 5 |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge How do you divide up spousal income in your family when there's a big gap in income?
Main Page The Lounge How do you divide up spousal income in your family when there's a big gap in income?© SIGforum 2025