Please note: My daughter is not going...this is about her friend.

My 18-year-old, just-graduated-from-high-school daughter mentioned (with some ill-disguised envy) that one of her 18-year-old, just graduated friends is making a month-long trek of Europe with another 18-year-old girl friend. The trip is being financed by their parents, not the girls (which itself could be a topic for another discussion), before their start of college in a few months. I don't know the other girl, but the friend of my daughter is a very sweet and smart (though somewhat shy) girl, but I don't really know her well enough to predict how prepared she is for the trip or how she'll respond to any problematic issues that may arise. We live in a somewhat affluent area, and the daughter and her family are staunch Democratic, protest-attending, liberal stalwarts; I mention that only because I wonder (as I do with many of those I see in those sign-waving crowds) how truly in touch they are with the geopolitical risks of today that exist outside their Bernie-lovin' bubble.

Here's my question: Would you allow (let alone finance) your 18-year-old daughter to make a month-long hostel trip of Europe with all that's going on over there now, or does that seem like a something that's a rose-colored holdover from more innocent, safer times that's just patently unwise in this era of Islamic terrorism, white slavery, etc. that plagues Europe to an even greater extent than the U.S.?

I get that every age has its issues, but allowing a somewhat naive 18-year-old girl from an affluent suburb to meander with a friend all over Europe in this day and age, at this moment in time, sure seems ill-advised to me, to say the least -- though I'll fess up to being a little over-protective with my kids. I don't plan to say a word to the girl or her parents -- that's certainly their decision to make, and they have -- but just on a general level, I am just curious if you folks believe my surprise and concern over my daughter's friend's plan and her parents' blessing of it is unwarranted.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: at-home-daddy,

No.

-Rob

Allow, probably.

Finance, maybe.

I don't think there's much inherently wrong or crazy about it. Tons of folks take similar trips. One of my Ex girlfriends had done two backpacking and train riding tours across Europe, and had been to China three times, and bought a 1/3 interest in a bar in South America by age 25, all on low budget student type trips, many hostels and such.

The specifics are everything, IMO.

It would depend on the 18 year old and how worldly \ aware she is.

no
and
no

Tough one. She is eighteen so I would be inclined to not finance the whole deal.

Different deal but I have a brother who has continued to do this kind of thing for his daughter and while she is a good person. She cannot seem to get her life together and she is thirty now and they still are being taken advantage of and they think they are doing the right thing for her and cannot figure out while she struggles with certain aspects of her life.

no and no

I think what we hear of Europe is as sensationalized as what Europeans hear about the US. I just spent a week driving through The Neatherlands and Germany. Felt very safe at all times and the people were all very nice.

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:
I think what we hear of Europe is as sensationalized as what Europeans hear about the US.

Well said.

It seems like it's one of those things that would be perfectly fine and a great time...

Until it went sideways and everything turned to shit in a hurry and without warning.

-Rob

After being paid to visit more 30 countries (thank you US Navy!!), I'd be inclined to say "no" unless I was there.

Way too much trouble to get into unintentionally much less intentionally or the trouble which comes looking for you.

Trouble finds 18 y.o. girls, that might not find me or you.

no

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:
I think what we hear of Europe is as sensationalized as what Europeans hear about the US. I just spent a week driving through The Neatherlands and Germany. Felt very safe at all times and the people were all very nice.

You're not an 18 year old girl, Jim.

OP, hell no. For various reasons.

quote:

Trouble finds 18 y.o. girls, that might not find me or you.

This is the correct answer. Has nothing to do with terrorism, everything to do with young men living in hostels preying on young women.

Maybe it's a graduation gift?

Depends on the kid but probably. They could get in just as much trouble touring the U.S.

No, based on what's going on now over there, young and female and American to much of a target. Maybe a parent accompanied trip to Ireland, and places not on terrorist list of trouble, sure. It's not the same world as it use to be.

I thought the backpacking thru Europe and staying in hostels was for graduating from college?

18 seems a little young and after college is your last hooray before becoming a working stiff for 40 years.

Hostels also have a significant problem presently with bed bugs. You could end up financing the after effects when you treat your house as well once she and her luggage return.

Does she have the ability to finance it on her own is it worth it to her to do that?

If the answers to those two questions are yes, then I wouldn't get into an argument with her about "allowing" it since she is an adult.

Just discuss the concerns you have, which I believe are legitimate.