NO! No way.

NO.

IMO, this is what a parent's role is: to say "No" to stuff like this and risk being considered unhip, uncool, etc. by their children, their friends, and even their friend's parents.

That said, my daughter did the semester abroad thing in Rome while a sophomore in college when she was 18 or 19. She was attending a private Catholic college and I knew they had a lot of supervision of the kids.

One day, however, she told us that she and some girls went off on their own and walked around Rome. She got an earful from me. I told her that if she did something like that again, she'd be on the next flight home.

Europe is fun. But as a father, I would say no. If she insisted on going ("Can't tell me what I can do!"), she would pay for it by herself - thus fixing the problem. Even with the best of intentions and street smarts, there's a lot that could go sideways. Underage drinking with a 20 and 30 year old males? What could go wrong?

A month in Europe on a budget would still run $5K.

No and no.

No and No

There are way too many things that could go wrong. Eighteen year old boys or girls do not have the experience to recognize the dangers that await them.

As a 40 and 50 year old traveling all over Europe and the world I still did some exceedingly unwise things. In short, an un-escorted trip has a high potential for disaster.

quote:

Originally posted by 46and2:
Allow, probably.

Finance, maybe.

I don't think there's much inherently wrong or crazy about it. Tons of folks take similar trips. One of my Ex girlfriends had done two backpacking and train riding tours across Europe, and had been to China three times, and bought a 1/3 interest in a bar in South America by age 25, all on low budget student type trips, many hostels and such.

The specifics are everything, IMO.

These are my thoughts. Honestly, it would probably be a trip she would rarely ever get to do again in her life, and honestly one she would cherish forever.

No way I'd let an 18 year old straight out of high school go---perhaps because I was once an eighteen year old girl.

I wouldn't have a problem financing a trip to Europe as a graduation gift, but from college, not high school.

Hell no. We have grown-ass men on this forum, with considerable training, saying they wouldn't do Europe.

I can hardly imagine my child attempting to navigate that place.

I know six people that I would trust , with out any concern what so ever, to take young men and women to europe.

but would I just trust any old stranger ?
with no back round check . I don't think so

quote:

Originally posted by 46and2:
Allow, probably.

Finance, maybe.

I don't think there's much inherently wrong or crazy about it. Tons of folks take similar trips. One of my Ex girlfriends had done two backpacking and train riding tours across Europe, and had been to China three times, and bought a 1/3 interest in a bar in South America by age 25, all on low budget student type trips, many hostels and such.

The specifics are everything, IMO.

That is my opinion, too. Although, I think I'd be inclined to require her to contribute to the cost of the trip.

We coddle our children too much. When they are little, we don't let them go to the playground alone. This is more of that. 18 year olds are nearly grown, but I recognize that they are also capable of making stupid mistakes. For a "normal" kid, I'd be inclined to say yes. If the person is unusually irresponsible, my answer might be different.

I highly recommend watching the 2006 Documentary titled, Hostel. I believe you can find it on Netflix or Amazon.

That said, I would have a difficult time permitting (much less financing) a trip out of state for my 18 year old daughter. Out of the country? Europe? Hostels?

Zero-point-zero chance that would happen on my watch.

Hell no!
Hell no!

But that's just me

quote:

Originally posted by Veeper:
Hell no. We have grown-ass men on this forum, with considerable training, saying they wouldn't do Europe.

We have grown ass men on this forum who won't go to New York, so I am not sure that is the right measuring stick. Some people are more timid and less comfortable with new places than others.

Possibly if the trip was planned for in detail a long time before the actual trip and not a last minute trip like this one sounds like.
My son at 18 went on a trip to the U.K. with the school as a graduation present but I would not have let him go on a hostel trip.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
I highly recommend watching the 2006 Documentary titled, Hostel. I believe you can find it on Netflix or Amazon.

The one directed by Mr. Roth? That thought had crossed my mind as well.

-Rob

quote:

Originally posted by sjtill:

quote:

Trouble finds 18 y.o. girls, that might not find me or you.

This is the correct answer. Has nothing to do with terrorism, everything to do with young men living in hostels preying on young women.

While I mentioned terrorism and whatnot in my OP because I suppose it's the most visible, omnispresent thing right now in the news right now, yes, the hostel environment is a concern I had, and would seem to play hand-in-hand with the immigrant rape crisis that Germany, Switzerland, et al are all dealing with. As Nighthawk mentioned, it's just not the same world as it used to be, and the heightened dangers to a young female American seem to me exacerbated by the age and naivety of my daughter's friend.

Good to know I'm not alone in my take on this. As far as those who say it depends on the girl, I suppose that's true in theory, but I think such a girl would be much more the exception than the rule in this generation...my two 18-year-old daughters have a wide group of 18-year-old female friends, and I don't know that I see any of them having the kind of maturity and hardened self-sufficiency where European hostel-hopping seems like a wise idea.

quote:

Originally posted by Jimineer:

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:
I think what we hear of Europe is as sensationalized as what Europeans hear about the US. I just spent a week driving through The Neatherlands and Germany. Felt very safe at all times and the people were all very nice.

You're not an 18 year old girl, Jim.

OP, hell no. For various reasons.

Completely agree that is a variable that needs to be considered. My comment was meant only to temper the responses from those who have never been and only know what they have read in the media. These is not a turban behind the wheel of a delivery truck ready to mow people down at every intersection. I found the cities I visited, Amsterdam, Hamburg, Cologn, and a few smaller towns to be clean, safe and full of mostly very pleasant English speaking inhabitants.

Midway through my daughter's Senior Year in high school she came to me and asked how much money I would give her as a graduation gift so she and her best friend could tour England. She didn't have a job, no prospects (I thought) and I didn't want her to go. I said, "$500.00".

She went to work, sold her collection of Breyer model horses (worth a good deal more than I imagined) and by April she had the money. She was going through a stage where nobody in the family liked her and the prospects of her going away to college in the Fall were making us all breathe easier. That said, I now faced the reality she was going to go.

I sat down with her and said, "I'm not letting you go until I see your plan". She pulled out a notebook with a detailed itinerary that included flight numbers, train stations, hostels, contact phone numbers, etc..

We packed her backpack and, on the appointed day, delivered her to LAX. They were gone 15 days. She came back a changed (for the better) person. Her best friend turned out to be a jerk and she determined for herself that her Dad and Mom weren't idiots. All of this happened in 2006. It was a good experience.

Depending on your daughters maturity, good sense and the quality of her plan I'd give some thought to approving the trip. If I watched "Taken" I would probably change my mind. Any chance you could tag along and provide a scowling presence and some experienced situational awareness?

Raising daughters is like having a terrorist live in your home. Everything is a negotiation.

Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full

quote:

Originally posted by Wasabibill:

Depending on your daughters maturity, good sense and the quality of her plan I'd give some thought to approving the trip. If I watched "Taken" I would probably change my mind. Any chance you could tag along and provide a scowling presence and some experienced situational awareness?

Raising daughters is like having a terrorist live in your home. Everything is a negotiation.

Wise words , but the situation is not mine; as per my OP, it's my daughter's friend who's going, not my daughter. However, there'd be zero negotiation if it were my daughter who came to me with this same ill-advised proposition.

quote:

month-long trek of Europe with another 18-year-old girl friend.

By themselves? I've seen Taken too many times to be comfortable with that.