Well, she's 18, so it's not really much of a question of "allow".

I, personally, would not finance it. Every kid is different, but it doesn't sound like something I'd be interested in paying for. I've done a trip like that before in my mid 20s. We did one night in a hostel, and said "eff that", and stayed in legit hotels the rest of the way. Zero security, not super clean, and people are just looking to take advantage of you. It was cool to meander around Europe for a few weeks, but there were so many times when things could have gone wrong...and we were 3 former Marines...that also could have been part of the problem...

Bottom line, the combination of hostels, lack of plan, the inexperience, and the various perceived or real threats don't give me the warm and fuzzy.

Sounds like you've made your decision.

If she had some skin in the game, she'd appreciate it more and may come to the conclusion that hostel hopping isn't as glamorous as envisioned.

I was in Europe last September. I never felt unsafe nor had any concern about terrorism or abductions (bald, 45 yo ) . My concern for an 18-yo would be getting into situations (drinking, partying, drugs) where she doesn't know anyone or have a safe place to go. My impressions of the 18-30 yo these days is party first, worry about consequences and safety later. This may not apply to your daughter necessarily, but she may get bored of being the goody-two-shoe after a week and just go along to get along with her travel buddies.

As a father of 4 daughters (thus my screen name), no way no how.

Get a job and out of the house and then they can do what they want.

quote:

Originally posted by tatortodd:
I thought the backpacking thru Europe and staying in hostels was for graduating from college?

18 seems a little young and after college is your last hooray before becoming a working stiff for 40 years.

^^^
4 or more years at that age should make a big difference in her life experiences. She will have lived away from home and had to make a variety of decisions by them. She will better understand the consequences of her, and others, actions much better.
Part two of this question, financing the trip. I might do part but she would have to have put out some effort, and money, of her own. Even if it was only 20%, it's amazing what having some of your own skin in the game can do to judgement.

Haha. Hell no on both counts.

quote:

Originally posted by konata88:
Haha. Hell no on both counts.

THIS ^^^^^

Every situation is different. I have an 18 year old step daughter, just graduated. If she approached me about a trip like this, it would certainly be NO. If she wanted to do that, I'd say go to college, pick a worthwhile major, study hard, get a good job, and when you have the means you can finance that trip yourself.

Our stepdaughter has friends whose parents would be able to fit the bill for something like this - her mom and I are not those parents and we work hard to meet everyone's needs.

She is not going to college right away, and wants to live in an apartment with a friend - her job - working two days a week watching some kids. Her excuse for working so little "I don't need the money" since she got graduation money and her dad is giving her some. WRONG ANSWER, WRONG LIFE LESSON. She is going to learn the hard way I suppose.

I probably wouldn't "let" her go, and I definitely would not finance it.

I would not allow my 18 year old daughter, if I had one, on that journey.

quote:

Originally posted by sjtill:

quote:

Trouble finds 18 y.o. girls, that might not find me or you.

This is the correct answer. Has nothing to do with terrorism, everything to do with young men living in hostels preying on young women.

This.

Nope.

There are too many unknown factors to make an intelligent response to the "allow" portion of the question. There are no circumstances under which I would encourage it, but I can imagine circumstances under which I would not actively work to prevent it.

The "finance" portion is much easier. Not only no, but HELL no. Really, REALLY bad idea on several levels, fraught with danger and a waste of money at the very least. You want to do that stuff, get a job and finance it yourself.

If she had a black belt in judo,fired expert on rifle and hand guns I would consider
otherwise HELL no

Another 'no' vote.

They are literally prey for a certain demographic of society.

----------------------------------

quote:

Originally posted by Russ59:
Sounds like you've made your decision.

. . . This may not apply to your daughter necessarily, but she may get bored of being the goody-two-shoe after a week and just go along to get along with her travel buddies.

Sorry -- again, not my daughter, and I don't want anyone to think that I condone this plan… As per my OP, I think it's a very bad idea. I've edited my headline and the beginning of my OP to hopefully clarify.

When my daughter was 19, she did her Sophomore Spring semester in college abroad. Her school campus was in Florence, Italy. She arranged her classes so that she never had classes on Friday, which gave her a three-day weekend every weekend, plus, she had a week off for Spring Break. She saved her own money and went to France, the UK, Spain, Germany, and a couple of others. But she typically went with her friends, so she was never alone.

Having said that, during her high school years, we prepared her well for this. First, she had a two-week stay with a friend of hers out of state, hundreds of miles away from Mom and Dad - we delivered her and picked her up.

Then, we had her take a couple of cross-country plane trips to visit relatives, where we dropped her off at the airport, and her relatives picked her up at the other end.

Then, she took a flight across the country to visit a friend. No relatives on the other end.

Also, she took a trip to Italy during high school with her mother. Then, she took a trip to Italy with a high school group, where there were other parents there (but not her own) chaperoning.

And even after all that, we were still very nervous letting her go to all these other countries, but it all worked out OK.

The point here is this: If you're able, have her take several Intermediate trips so that she proves she's capable of handling herself without direct parental involvement. This also helps build her confidence.

But - for an 18 year old with no previous overseas travel experience - no way would I let her go.

Lolz.

Not just no, but hell no.

And I don't say that from the the perspective of a curmudgeon-y old guy. I'm all about adventure travel.

However, an 18 year old is still full of stupid. Like, really, really full of stupid. They'll make some really terrible decisions and they'll be in a place where those decisions don't have familiar outcomes. 18 is consent and drinking age for much of Europe, and when your little girl sets foot into a bar or nightclub, she'll be descended upon by guys many years older than her, who have much more experience partying and drinking, and who have a differing sense of sexuality and drug use than we have here in the states. Your little girl doesn't stand a chance against some dude with an accent.

18 isn't really the optimal age to be backpacking through Europe. A couple years of college will deepen her appreciation of history, and will equip her with the tools she needs to meet new people, make decisions on the fly, understand how best to spend her money, prioritize her time, and really understand people.

I would, suggest, instead, that you talk to all 3 parents involved and instead of making it a backpacking trip, turn it into a chaperoned trip of major western European cities: London, Paris, Barcelona/Madrid, Rome.

Edit to add bolded emphasis.

Two different questions:
Finance, I can't say...and really no one can.

Go? Absolutely! I personally have been to to exactly 99 countries, and this year alone have been to 20 so far.

I really do not understand anyone (outside of the financial aspect) saying no to traveling to Europe. Really? Are you listening to the very same MSM for advice?

I highly encourage everyone to travel and of all the places in the world Europe is a no brainer.

Additionally, why are we coddling 18 year olds? They are supposedly grown ass adults. In most parts of the world, 18 is 2 years past adulthood.

So yes, go enjoy, learn, and get the most out of the trip. And to use some excuse from a lame movie is ridiculous.

There are millions of teenage girls living in Europe, the place is almost lousy with them. They seem to do ok for the most part. and by that, I mean, not get abducted into white slavery rings or turned into heroin mules. Your children probably have far more ability to get into trouble in the US than Europe.

It would depend on how I raised my hypothetical daughter. If she was some sheltered brat who just expected money to spit out of the ATM or if she knew how to take care of money.

If she was going alone, I'd have doubts. If she was going with a small group of people, esp if they were friends, etc.

I'd also run through a good many hypothetical situations. What do you if some stranger offers you a free drink? What do you if you lose your passport? What if you are robbed?

Once they were schooled on what to do.

Keep in mind, they can buy a burner phone in Europa and keep in touch daily with ease. It isn't like you depend on a telegram to keep in touch.