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Cheap friend...unsure how to have this discussion about paying fair share Login/Join 
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posted
This has been going on for years. Somehow I think it's my fault for letting it go on for so long.

Anyway, I got a buddy, he's a good enough friend, and we meet up once every 1-2 weeks for beer or just some bar food.
Basically, a beer or some general bar grub.

The check would generally come to 30 bucks, tip included. Nothing substantial. So at first I'd put down a 20 and tell him to take care of the rest. He'd throw down a 10 and we'd be good. I didn't really think anything of it.
He never offered up anything more than 10 bucks, but that's OK.

Prices go up, and of course the bill climbs accordingly. So say I had 13 bucks worth of stuff, I'd throw down 20. Then he'd throw down a 10. And it wouldn't be enough to cover the check. So I'd dig deeper and put a couple more bucks in.

Next time we meet, same thing. I'd look at him, "Sorry that's all I got." Mind you this is a guy who will either have just gone on a trip or bought himself a new thousand-dollar toy and will talk about his planned acquisitions.

I have to remind him to bring enough to cover the tab.

So last night we went out, same deal...tab was 35 with tip, mine actually slightly cheaper. I throw down 20. He puts down 10. We're still 5 short. He puts some change on the table, "Sorry that's all I brought." I have to cover the rest not to short the bartender.

I don't know what to do. He's a good friend but I just can't stand that.

I'd never let somebody pick up the majority of the tab so many times, I'd be fighting them to pay it.

Any suggestions? Makes me not want to spend any time with him.
 
Posts: 1179 | Registered: June 09, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of olfuzzy
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Separate checks/tabs
 
Posts: 5181 | Location: 20 miles north of hell | Registered: November 07, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of reloader-1
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Do credit cards not exist in his world?
 
Posts: 2360 | Registered: October 26, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Simple, you throw down the ten next time and hand the bill to him and tell him to cover it including a %20 tip. If he bitches, find a new drinking buddy.


Awake not woke
 
Posts: 603 | Location: Citrus Springs, Fl. | Registered: January 02, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of just1tym
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I hate to say it but, I'd go out with other friends. My old buddies from work used to often just pick up the entire check for everybody and ask the others to throw down a tip. It was equally and generously shared to do this often. I miss these guys and the generosity we shared now because I've been retired, but they were a great bunch of guys to meet up for eats.


Regards, Will G.
 
Posts: 9660 | Location: 140 mi to Margaritaville, FL | Registered: January 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by olfuzzy:
Separate checks/tabs


also, oh my goodness. i forgot my wallet a few times
 
Posts: 3534 | Registered: August 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Just for the
hell of it
Picture of comet24
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Both put down a card and have them split the check.


_____________________________________

Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain. Jack Kerouac
 
Posts: 16483 | Registered: March 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Green grass and
high tides
Picture of old rugged cross
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It is not going to change. I am with old Fuzzy. Or just decline to go with him. He thinks it is ok? When the hell is he going to put a $20 down? One of my brothers is a bit like this and he is in the best situation to pick up the tab. It is a PP of mine. Not much of a friend imho.

As is always said in these threads. Life is too short.



"Practice like you want to play in the game"
 
Posts: 19950 | Registered: September 21, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Try, Come on Fishooks, ante up! He’ll know you mean him!
 
Posts: 5775 | Location: west 'by god' virginia | Registered: May 30, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of SevenPlusOne
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Next time you go out, don't order anything.



"Ninja kick the damn rabbit"
 
Posts: 4651 | Location: Oklahoma | Registered: October 11, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Lost
Picture of kkina
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Alternate paying the entire bill. You pay this time, he pays the next time. And when setting up the next time, make sure to "remind" him that he's paying the entire thing and to bring $. This arrangement will sort things out very quickly, for better or for worse.



ACCU-STRUT FOR MINI-14
"First, Eyes."
 
Posts: 17208 | Location: SF Bay Area | Registered: December 11, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Oriental Redneck
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quote:
Originally posted by SevenPlusOne:
Next time you go out, don't order anything.

Yup, just BYOB. Big Grin


Q






 
Posts: 28204 | Location: TEXAS | Registered: September 04, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Lawyers, Guns
and Money
Picture of chellim1
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quote:
So last night we went out, same deal...tab was 35 with tip, mine actually slightly cheaper. I throw down 20. He puts down 10. We're still 5 short. He puts some change on the table, "Sorry that's all I brought." I have to cover the rest not to short the bartender.

I don't know what to do. He's a good friend but I just can't stand that.

I'd never let somebody pick up the majority of the tab so many times, I'd be fighting them to pay it.

You're a good friend.... he's a mooch.

quote:
Separate checks/tabs

Next time, if there is a next time... make that clear before you sit down. Separate checks.
You make it clear up front, before you order, that he will pay for whatever he orders.



"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible."
-- Justice Janice Rogers Brown

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-rduckwor
 
Posts: 24859 | Location: St. Louis, MO | Registered: April 03, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nullus Anxietas
Picture of ensigmatic
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quote:
Originally posted by acidjazz:
Anyway, I got a buddy, he's a good enough friend, ...

Really? Doesn't look that way from here. Then again: I define "friend" rather narrowly, and somebody as dishonourable as you relate this guy to be I could not call "friend." ("Acquaintance I avoid" would be closer.)



"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher
 
Posts: 26031 | Location: S.E. Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Constable
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Just visited a very close and dear friend, who is also a cheapskate. It's tough to deal with. I am assertive and from the cop job certainly not afraid of confrontation. But....I also hate to hurt his feelings. He grew up dirt poor and despite living an upper middle class life later on, still hates to spend a buck.

I can feel the OP's angst.
 
Posts: 7074 | Location: Craig, MT | Registered: December 17, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Leemur
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Screw him, that’s not a friend.
 
Posts: 13883 | Location: Shenandoah Valley, VA | Registered: October 16, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I think I'd just not go out with him any longer. When after a few times of not going, he will probably ask why; tell him that you got tired of paying more than your share. If he wants to meet thereafter it will be with separate checks. That is assuming you wish to remain friends at all.
 
Posts: 996 | Location: Windermere, Florida | Registered: February 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I know people like this. How important is the relationship?? Answer that question and act accodingly.
 
Posts: 17699 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Partial dichotomy
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I'd prefer to go out alone than deal with that every time.




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Posts: 39480 | Location: SC Lowcountry/Cape Cod | Registered: November 22, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of az4783054
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Friends don't mooch off their friends. Users do. I would stress with the waiter that you want separate checks. Say it right in front of your 'friend'.

We used to go out with a group of six car club members for dinner. One couple (formerly NY) would always order an expensive dinner. My wife and I would usually order only a soup and salad. When the bill came our cheap ass 'friends' would say it's easier to divide the bill/tip up equally. They ended up getting their expensive dinner at a substantial discount while our salads cost double.


If people would mind their own damn business this country would be better off. I owe no one an explanation or an apology for my personal opinion.
 
Posts: 11211 | Location: Somewhere north of a hot humid hell in the summer | Registered: January 09, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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