This has been going on for years. Somehow I think it's my fault for letting it go on for so long.
Anyway, I got a buddy, he's a good enough friend, and we meet up once every 1-2 weeks for beer or just some bar food. Basically, a beer or some general bar grub.
The check would generally come to 30 bucks, tip included. Nothing substantial. So at first I'd put down a 20 and tell him to take care of the rest. He'd throw down a 10 and we'd be good. I didn't really think anything of it. He never offered up anything more than 10 bucks, but that's OK.
Prices go up, and of course the bill climbs accordingly. So say I had 13 bucks worth of stuff, I'd throw down 20. Then he'd throw down a 10. And it wouldn't be enough to cover the check. So I'd dig deeper and put a couple more bucks in.
Next time we meet, same thing. I'd look at him, "Sorry that's all I got." Mind you this is a guy who will either have just gone on a trip or bought himself a new thousand-dollar toy and will talk about his planned acquisitions.
I have to remind him to bring enough to cover the tab.
So last night we went out, same deal...tab was 35 with tip, mine actually slightly cheaper. I throw down 20. He puts down 10. We're still 5 short. He puts some change on the table, "Sorry that's all I brought." I have to cover the rest not to short the bartender.
I don't know what to do. He's a good friend but I just can't stand that.
I'd never let somebody pick up the majority of the tab so many times, I'd be fighting them to pay it.
Any suggestions? Makes me not want to spend any time with him.
Simple, you throw down the ten next time and hand the bill to him and tell him to cover it including a %20 tip. If he bitches, find a new drinking buddy.
Awake not woke
Posts: 603 | Location: Citrus Springs, Fl. | Registered: January 02, 2013
I hate to say it but, I'd go out with other friends. My old buddies from work used to often just pick up the entire check for everybody and ask the others to throw down a tip. It was equally and generously shared to do this often. I miss these guys and the generosity we shared now because I've been retired, but they were a great bunch of guys to meet up for eats.
Regards, Will G.
Posts: 9660 | Location: 140 mi to Margaritaville, FL | Registered: January 02, 2008
It is not going to change. I am with old Fuzzy. Or just decline to go with him. He thinks it is ok? When the hell is he going to put a $20 down? One of my brothers is a bit like this and he is in the best situation to pick up the tab. It is a PP of mine. Not much of a friend imho.
As is always said in these threads. Life is too short.
Alternate paying the entire bill. You pay this time, he pays the next time. And when setting up the next time, make sure to "remind" him that he's paying the entire thing and to bring $. This arrangement will sort things out very quickly, for better or for worse.
So last night we went out, same deal...tab was 35 with tip, mine actually slightly cheaper. I throw down 20. He puts down 10. We're still 5 short. He puts some change on the table, "Sorry that's all I brought." I have to cover the rest not to short the bartender.
I don't know what to do. He's a good friend but I just can't stand that.
I'd never let somebody pick up the majority of the tab so many times, I'd be fighting them to pay it.
You're a good friend.... he's a mooch.
quote:
Separate checks/tabs
Next time, if there is a next time... make that clear before you sit down. Separate checks. You make it clear up front, before you order, that he will pay for whatever he orders.
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." -- Justice Janice Rogers Brown
"The United States government is the largest criminal enterprise on earth." -rduckwor
Posts: 24859 | Location: St. Louis, MO | Registered: April 03, 2009
Originally posted by acidjazz: Anyway, I got a buddy, he's a good enough friend, ...
Really? Doesn't look that way from here. Then again: I define "friend" rather narrowly, and somebody as dishonourable as you relate this guy to be I could not call "friend." ("Acquaintance I avoid" would be closer.)
"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher
Just visited a very close and dear friend, who is also a cheapskate. It's tough to deal with. I am assertive and from the cop job certainly not afraid of confrontation. But....I also hate to hurt his feelings. He grew up dirt poor and despite living an upper middle class life later on, still hates to spend a buck.
I think I'd just not go out with him any longer. When after a few times of not going, he will probably ask why; tell him that you got tired of paying more than your share. If he wants to meet thereafter it will be with separate checks. That is assuming you wish to remain friends at all.
Friends don't mooch off their friends. Users do. I would stress with the waiter that you want separate checks. Say it right in front of your 'friend'.
We used to go out with a group of six car club members for dinner. One couple (formerly NY) would always order an expensive dinner. My wife and I would usually order only a soup and salad. When the bill came our cheap ass 'friends' would say it's easier to divide the bill/tip up equally. They ended up getting their expensive dinner at a substantial discount while our salads cost double.
If people would mind their own damn business this country would be better off. I owe no one an explanation or an apology for my personal opinion.
Posts: 11211 | Location: Somewhere north of a hot humid hell in the summer | Registered: January 09, 2009