SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Cheap friend...unsure how to have this discussion about paying fair share
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| I made it so far, now I'll go for more  |
I call Bull on the separate checks. Why give the server extra work. Tell the bum to pony up, it's that easy. Maybe "isn't it about time you get the big half" would work. Bob I am no expert, but think I am sometimes. | |||
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Member |
This thread is not about cheapness; it’s about morals. Heck, I am the cheapest person I know, and I’d never do that to a friend. | |||
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Member |
Separate checks. For two people separate checks is no problem for waitress. | |||
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paradox in a box |
Separate checks is pretty standard these days. No different than 3 tables with 3 couples or 1 table with 3 couples. They are getting tipped by everyone. Heck we’ve had an entire kids hockey team with kids at different tables than parents and the waitresses handle it, no problem. They used kids jersey number to separate. These go to eleven. | |||
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| Member |
I’m with kkina, take turns. I did this with a friend for years and it worked fine. Separate checks looks petty, and pretty much says “We can’t trust each other” | |||
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| Member |
If ya can’t bring yourself to say separate checks, throw out, let’s go Dutch, Dutch treat. | |||
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safe & sound |
I could see this argument in an old school, we do all of our paperwork by hand environment. Most modern day restaurants use computers, and it only takes a few button pushes on the screen to get it done. | |||
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| Member |
If you enjoy your time hanging out with the guy and you think asking him to put some more money in will cause an issue stay where you're at. If it is bothering you tell him to pony up and let the situation go where it goes. | |||
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quarter MOA visionary |
I go to lunch with a buddy all the time. We take turns on paying, regardless of the price and never think twice about the amounts. Sometimes it is a check for $25, sometimes it is $50, last time it was $75 including a few margaritas - no bid deal as we don't keep score. | |||
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Member |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This right here. That's what a TRUE friend(s) is all about. I am blessed with the same. Sometimes we may split the check and one had a drink and the other didn't. We don't care. It's all about the fellowship and camaraderie... "If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24 | |||
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| A day late, and a dollar short  |
My friend and I go shooting in the morning once a week usually. Afterwards we go to a restaurant for breakfast, we just alternate paying the bill, works for us. ____________________________ NRA Life Member, Annual Member GOA, MGO Annual Member | |||
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| Member |
When I was living overseas I had a friend like that, he was insanely cheap and would go to all sorts of lengths to get out of paying what really amounted to a few bucks, he was my co worker so I knew he was getting paid the same as me. He would drop a 5 or 10 on the table and leave 10 minutes early or not order food then bum a slice of pizza off 3-4 different people. He didn’t even try to hide it and it would be so awkward it was often hard to even say anything. The final straw was when we were at a restsrsunt/bar and they said if we ordered 4 beers, we’d get a 5th for free....this guy pulled a “I’m not thirsty yet I’ll order one in a bit” the 4 of us ordered beers and the extra one was sitting out on the table....then he pulled a “oh I’ll just have that one since it was free”....nope. It ended then and there and got sort of ugly. | |||
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Member |
I was raised in a family where trying to get the check was raised to an artform. When I was much younger, parents always paid for meals. After college and having my own money, they still generally insisted they pay, as I was in medical school or residency and we did not have much. After residency, it was game on. My parents and my wife and I often go to lengths to get the check - my Dad likes to snag the waitress while getting up to use the restroom, I like the trick of holding the door for everyone as we walk in (thus being behind everyone going to the table) and letting the host or hostess know that the bill is to come directly to me. Hands can get bruised if the check is laid on the table between us. With my friends it is pretty similar. A buddy and I go out for beers while our daughters are in dance class together about once or twice a month. I think we alternate, we both pick up the check regularly but do not actively keep track of who paid last. The idea of someone leeching on and not paying at least their share in a relationship is simply foreign to me and those I associate with, thank goodness! | |||
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Not really from Vienna |
Separate checks looks petty, and pretty much says “We can’t trust each other” ___________________________________ The OP’s friend has already proven that he isn’t trustworthy, so no need to worry about hurting his feelings. | |||
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| I kneel for my God, and I stand for my flag |
Exactly, he's already proven he's not very trustworthy or he wouldn't be sticking the OP with the bill. As someone already posted, fool me once... | |||
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Oriental Redneck |
Been going on for years. Meet once or twice a week for beer/bar food. Unless there's something else you haven't mentioned, like he helped you with many things in the past, I don't see how this scenario qualifies this guy as a "good friend". Good friends don't stick it to you repeatedly, even after being reminded.  Q | |||
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Nullus Anxietas |
ISTM acidjazz' "friend" has already demonstrated he's not trustworthy. Repeatedly. Over years. "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher | |||
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Ammoholic |
Ding, ding, ding. Winner. I'm cheap as can be. I'd never stick my friend with and unfair portion of a bill. The fact he has played this stupid little game for so long would really piss me off. I would never let it last through a third meal. I do have a friend who stuggles financially. He never pays when when we go out to eat or for a drink. He'd pick up the check if let him, but I won't. Your friend is playing some sort of stupid game. I wouldn't stand for it. Jesse Sic Semper Tyrannis | |||
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| Member |
exactly in this ONE scenario - yes he is indeed a mooch but what other redeeming qualities exist? did he one time loan you his car - no questions asked for a month free of charge?? did he extract your daughters wisdom teeth at no cost? et etc we have to be careful to not allow this one undesirable quality cancel out ALL OTHER good qualities... so basically - not enough information to answer the question ...  (but I do understand why this is annoying...) --------------------------------------------- Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. | |||
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Optimistic Cynic |
Next time you're hoisting one, tell him how you have this problem with a friend, (without letting him know that he's the one). Ask him what he would do. | |||
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SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Cheap friend...unsure how to have this discussion about paying fair share
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