Fool me once...

quote:

Originally posted by acidjazz:
just gone on a trip or bought himself a new thousand-dollar toy

There's a reason why he can afford those things.

If he doesn't pay his share he's not much of a friend.

Next time he calls/texts, decline.

After doing that a few times, go out but bring a bunch of ones and pay exactly your fair share. If he says that’s all he brought, push your money towards him and say “that is what credit cards are for”

A family member gets "alligator arms" when the check arrives.
Once in a blue moon they pick up the check...like once out of 15 times.

It's annoying and rude. Separate checks solves it.

I eat with a fellow who always wants to take turns paying, I pretty much just yell out Separate checks! please.

if he protests at all , I just tell him that I can not keep track of who paid what or when .

Thank you all for the replies. I was hoping I was not making a big deal out of a few bucks. I think next time I'm going to get it split, and from there it will be easier to deal with. I know he's got a credit card, he just is doing this because he can get away with it.

I take responsibility for allowing it to go on for so long...
I confront people all day long at my job working in the criminal justice system, I hate the idea of having to confront a friend about this shit.

quote:

I hate the idea of having to confront a friend about this shit.

If he was much of a friend, you wouldn’t have to.

He is not your friend. You even admit that he’s getting away with it because he can. Find a real friend.

Otherwise, pay for what you eat or drink. He’s on his own like a big boy.

You have it figured out. Sounds like you enjoy spending time with him. Go out, have fun, life is too short as it is. Good friends are hard to come by...

Get this guy to talk to him.

I either pick up the check or it's separate bills - I've never done the 'shared' bill thing with anyone. I had a good friend and we would alternate picking up the check - had he never picked it up I would have just done separate checks, but never shared it - that's just a recipe for hard feelings.

I've lost some "friends" like that over the years. We'd become economically incompatible.

I'm the guy who always makes sure to contribute more than my fair share. When it comes time for me to move on from these people there is no doubt on my end.

If he is a really good friend and this is his only quirk, it might be worth it just to decide you don't care and pay the extra $ as the price of having a friendship that doesn't upset you or make you uncomfortable, it's a gift given freely each time. In a similar vein, I would never loan $ to family or friends. I would either give it with no expectation in return or help them work through their financial issue w/o my giving them a loan.

Or try the middle ground split check approach, but what if he says that's all he has next time anyway?

Or, confront him and realize the friendship will probably end over it.

I don't typically like people...this is why.

quote:

Originally posted by BamaJeepster:
I either pick up the check or it's separate bills - I've never done the 'shared' bill thing with anyone. I had a good friend and we would alternate picking up the check - had he never picked it up I would have just done separate checks, but never shared it - that's just a recipe for hard feelings.

Good advice here.
Sharing the bill always ends poorly.

Your gracious hospitality perfectly suits his willingness to mooch. If he had to pay his fair share, it would maybe be a game changer in the friendship as far as he is concerned. That would be interesting ... and telling, eh.

"Hey, how much money did you bring this time?"

Twelve bucks

"OK, we're skipping the snacks."

If you’re not fighting over who gets to pay every time, are you really friends?

Friends can discuss things like this. No need to ask the interwebs.

quote:

Originally posted by olfuzzy:
Separate checks/tabs

BINGO !
After this happening a couple times in the past my wife is the only one I don’t ask for separate checks with!



.

My first thought was "Who goes out to eat/drink with only ten bucks?"

The answer came to me.. "someone with a sucker for a "friend".