Wife had a gal that did that in group settings, 6 or 7 girls, they'd always agree to split the check, she'd order expensive items and drinks when some were having salads and no alcohol.

She had confided she did it on purpose to my wife so she could have the most expensive dinner but only pay a small amount.

They were complaining about it when she wasn't there and I suggested the next time let everyone order, and the last person to order would tell the waitress separate checks, they did that and she was upset! LOL, didn't matter none of the others remarked or budged on the separate checks.

Next time order, when he gets up tell the waitress/bartender " I forgot to tell you separate checks" when they show up, pay yours and go....

He's a mooch...and he's doing it on purpose.

That you buy this time and I the next does not work.
I always order the same price my time or his.
My time to buy he ordered lots of sampler plates.
I paid for that crap and the next time he wanted to go eat I said no.
He got the message and I am short one more cheapskate friend.

Just ask for split check. I am sure if he is a grown man he has a credit card.

quote:

That you buy this time and I the next does not work.
I always order the same price my time or his.
My time to buy he ordered lots of sampler plates.
I paid for that crap and the next time he wanted to go eat I said no.
He got the message and I am short one more cheapskate friend.

I think it did work. When it was your time to pay, you could have loaded up on the same dishes and said, "Now you know how it feels!"

I remember taking my wife out to Red Lobster for her Birthday. Her adult son wanted to come - so why not. He ordered the lobster. Easily twice the price of either of our entrees. Moochers gonna mooch. If you don't mind paying him to be your friend, then keep doing it

This is all foreign to me. I have simply never had this kind of problem with friends. We've each picked up the tab. We've split the tab. We've had separate tabs. It all depends on what seems the reasonable thing to do at the time.

I've had it happen where we've split the tab, but one knows he (or he and mate) was responsible for a bigger chunk of the bill. They always offer to kick in more. Bill + tip or whatever. I've had it happen where One: "I'll get this one." Other: "You got the last one." One: "Yeah, but that one was cheap. So is this one. The last one you picked up was expensive, so I'm taking this one."

All kinds of variations. This is never an issue between true friends. Friends don't consciously keep track. They don't have to. They know what's right and just treat one another fairly.

I got tired of the same kinda crap with a pal of about 25 years. I finally got fed up and educated him on his tendencies. We haven't spoken since, but it was worth it.

I had a close buddy that shared mutual dinner /bar bills over years. Under unusual circumstance (auto breakdown in small town far away) he needed a couple hundred $$$ quick. He had actually made it on his trip to visit me but couldn't afford to drive back home. Full promises & expectations to be repaid. Although we lived 1000 miles apart, regular phone calls, etc. Till this.

I knew his life style & income level. Finally he called to 'say hi' & give some feeble excuse about the 'delay' now 1+ year overdue....which sounded like a long term no-way-pay loan.

After a couple more non-efforts I finally told him I had always wondered what a friendship was worth, I just never figured it would be him that taught me. Somewhere along my own little soliloquy I mentioned not to worry about the money since if that was all it was worth to never hear from him again it was worth the price. End of story.

A saying I learned long ago that seems to be appropriate here:

"No one can take advantage of you without your consent."

In other words, he will continue to leech off of you as long as you permit him to.

I've got a good friend who is the same way. He "forgets" his wallet, only pays part of his share, etc etc etc. I no longer accept this behavior, it's separate checks, period.

This worked for awhile, then I noticed he'd only leave ONE SINGLE DOLLAR BILL for his tip.

He'd want to sit for hours and talk. I'd say I need to leave, we can't tie up a table for hours, the establishmen needs the revenue and the wait staff needs the tips. I won't sit and waste their table time.

The final straw was recently. Over the years he would ask for rides and I'd oblige, no problem. I needed a ride the other day to get my car to the mechanics shop for repairs. He asked for gas money.

Adios M-F'er. I'm done.

Slap him like a bitch, pull his sweater over his head, and trip him. He’ll get the picture.

If he were a good friend, I'd continue to pay and allow him to do what he could. If he were a good friend.

Cheapness is as disease. I get it if you don’t have it. I would never make a friend pay if he was short on cash. But if they do and don’t put in their fair share then I simply won’t go out with them.

Another thing I can’t stand is when a otherwise great night with friends is ruined by people arguing about the bill “I only had a salad..blah blah blah”....I would rather just lay the whole bill myself then hear people bitch about a couple of dollars. I notice women do this more than men. I grew up where you just split up the bill evenly regardless of what you had. You aren’t just paying for food and drink you are also paying for the company and a good time.

When we went snowmobiling we would assign one person to pay the tabs at all places during the week long trip. We each gave him $100 to start off with. We ordered and drank as much as we wanted to. No one worried about how many drinks Jack had or how much food Jim ate. We road hard and played hard. When the funds ran out we would add another C note. Oh most of our drinking was back at the place we were staying at night. Put 1500 miles on our last trip together....If you see a sticker on a bathroom mirror in Wisconsin, MN, or the UP that says Abergoot Racing Team you know we were there.

Half of me says stop worrying about it and just enjoy the time with your friend. Pay it all.

Other half says after focusing in on this you'll never let it go, so just move on to other friends and avoid this person.

He's not a friend. He's a person you know.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
He's not a friend. He's a person you know.

This...

One time in my twenties I got “caught” in a split bill. Not really people I knew, friend of my wife’s from work, her husband, and a couple they knew. So of six people, I knew one (my wife), she knew two (me and her coworker).

It was an expensive place by our standard at the time, so my wife and I (expecting separate checks) ordered an appetizer, split an entree, and limited ourselves to one drink each and water.

Meanwhile everyone else had their own entrees, other two women each had one drink, one guy didn’t have a drink, last guy has an entree, appetizer and three drinks.

Single check comes and the total is close to $195 before tip (late 1980’s). Mr friend of coworker quickly grabs it and says ”Ok, $75 each couple should do it”. Now, we had a $10 appetizer, a $24 entree, and $12 worth of drinks = $50-$55 with a generous tip.

Now guess which guy was the one to snatch the check and do the math? The one whose portion of the bill was about $85 before tip


I asked about separate checks, he says that’s too “hard” for the waitress and it is just “easier to divide three ways”. I give him a bit of a look and he just kind of ignores me and goes to collect the money couple number two is starting to fish out. Meanwhile, my wife is giving me that “Please don’t embarass me” look so I didn’t press the point.



My wife tells me a few days later that her coworker says that was the standard MO for the other couple and her and her husband aren’t willing to say anything, so they just try to match the value of the order to try and keep it “even”.

Couple weeks later we are invited out again. I say no, I prefer not to socialize with people who try to take advantage of me. Wife explains to coworker, coworker tells “friends” we can’t go, maybe another time. We go out with wife’s coworker and her husband, the four of us have a nice time and get separate checks. All good, turns out coworker and husband pretty much replace their other “friends” with us as they decided they preferred our company.

What I find kind of humerous in this situation is I have to FIGHT for the bill with some family and friends if I want to treat.

My wife's grandparents and parents are a prime example. They probably have more pocket change than I've made in 10 years. Prime buys in real estate, attorney, no divorces, etc., etc.

The only way I can outfox them is to "go to the bathroom", tell the waiter/ess that it's my treat tonight and I give them my credit card then. I tell her/him that when you come around and ask is there's anything else I can bring you? and everyone says "No", I'll 'go to the bathroom' again and sign the charge.
After a little while someone wonders where the check is.
That's when I tell them it's already taken care of, my treat for once!
First time they were a little thrown off but when I told them I wasn't going to tackle them for the bill, I think they actually admired the guile it took to pull it off.

Seperate checks. I really don't understand people who let this go on. Nip it in the bud the first time. A true friend won't try to take advantage of you.

quote:

Originally posted by 45ProCarry:
Seperate checks. I really don't understand people who let this go on. Nip it in the bud the first time. A true friend won't try to take advantage of you.

This. ^^^^^

I'm sure that we all have "friend" stories.

CW