Inspired by SIG and all the James Bond/reptilian fantasy names dreamed up by adolescent marketing departments, but the straw that broke the camel's back for me is Beretta's Fusion Scorpion.

Once we get a list compiled, it's mix'n'match time!

So, we've got:

Fusion

Scorpion

Rattler

Spectre

Comp (when applicable. how many young buyers of these pistols have no idea that "Comp" means compensator?)

Phantom

What else? I want a Rattler Scorpion Fusion Comp, Instagram Edition!

*Fastback Carry Nightmare.

“Sig 1911-45” thats been around now for quite a few years. Despite the name the gun is a very decent 1911 and one of my favorites.

Excellent

SIG MPX Copperhead

Spear LT

No list is complete without

• Hyper as in HYPER-COMP
  
• Elite
  

RATTLER SCORPION FUSION HYPER-COMP ELITE INSTAGRAM Edition

Oooh, more snakes

ssssssssssssssssssssssss...

Just from the Kimber lineup:

- Raptor
- Mako
- Eclipse
- Covert

A Raptor Rattler

or maybe Rattler Raptor

Let's get our focus group in here to help us decide. Oh, wait, they're all in school right now. OK, 3:30 this afternoon, then? Let's make sure we have plenty of juice boxes for them. They like juice boxes a lot.

Oldies but goodies: The Judge and The Governor.

Sig is by far the worst offender in this category, but "Fusion Scorpion" is pretty bad, too. A few others that are pretty awful:

Standard Manufacturing "Thunderstruck" - Dumb gun, dumb name.

S&W "Ladysmith" - Nice guns, marketing fail.

Beretta PX4/CX4 "Storm" - WTF is that supposed to mean?

Henry "Big Boy" - Decent guns, but it sounds like something a cheap hooker would call somebody.

Springfield "Saint" - Not even sure what they're going for here.

Sig M400 "Tread" - Again...why?

EAA "Windicator" - Did you mean "vindicator" with a speech impediment?

Volquartsen Black Mamba and Scorpion come to mind.

Mossberg Chainsaw and Shockwave

Supressors, Trash Panda and Thunder Chicken

well, I'm looking for the ever elusive,
All-Terrain Tactical Maxus Mongoose Reaper - Executive Edition

Equalizer from SW is kind of lame.

Check with Colt, while we're on the subject of snake.

Rhino, Charging Rhino, Thundering Rhino. All by Chiappa

"Shadow". Like em, but huh?

quote:

Sig M400 "Tread" - Again...why?

I can guess they meant as in Don't... on me. But it always made me think of snow tires.

Huckleberry
Rapture
Rose
And lest we forget the Yeet Cannon.

Don’t forget the cheapies
Pittbull
Bulldog
Mag pug
Chic lady