WE HAVE ALWAYS DONE IT THAT WAY



Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under the banana. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, researchers spray all the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result... all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all the other monkeys assault him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm, because he is now part of the "team" and has learned the rules.

Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairs for the banana. If they could talk, they would simply say, “We’ve always done it that way.”

We are here to help.

There will be no layoffs.

I am your new doctor.......

Please step into my office.

Close the door behind you.

It won't hurt a bit

"The car's making a noise."

Not limited to "car" or "noise".

Do you know how fast you were going?

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
Your position is being eliminated...

Yep. Dealing with right now, started with a four word preamble, before five word catastrophic phrase: Due to our merger, . . . .

W T F just happened?

Another auto-related version: "I thought we parked here!"

I cannot find my wallet.

My mother is coming for a looong visit !!

Wife: "Do you know what today is?"

Some of you can't count.

quote:

Originally posted by gpbst3:
WE HAVE ALWAYS DONE IT THAT WAY

quote:

Originally posted by RFSALES:
My mother is coming for a looong visit !!

These are more than five.

I have some bad news.....

Your account is in arrears.....

These are not my pants!



(OK. Not terrifying, but it's funny. I kill me.)

That is a suspicious growth....