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What are your best verbal comebacks!? Login/Join 
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
Picture of Ronin101
posted
Inmate: You are just an overpaid baby sitter!
Me: So what are you then?

Inmate: You are a control freak!
Me: I guess I picked the right career then!

Big Grin
 
Posts: 6445 | Location: Bismarck ND | Registered: February 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
posted Hide Post
Big Grin

My best ones are usually about 3 hours too late.
 
Posts: 9689 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eating, sleeping and boinking. Everything else is just Filler.
Picture of terma-nator
posted Hide Post
Hey George, the ocean called. They're running outta shrimp.




I love it here!



My Gun collection:
Too many to list. Lets just say that the zombies should look elsewhere.
 
Posts: 1590 | Location: Back in the good 'ol U.S.A. (South Fla) | Registered: April 08, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
Picture of Ronin101
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
Big Grin

My best ones are usually about 3 hours too late.


I pride myself of coming right back....but yeah I have had them pop in my head three hours later Big Grin
 
Posts: 6445 | Location: Bismarck ND | Registered: February 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Lt CHEG
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by terma-nator:
Hey George, the ocean called. They're running outta shrimp.


Well the jerk store called and they're running out of you!

God I love that show!



**The views expressed above represent those of the poster only and not necessarily those of his employer**
**Any advice given should not be considered legal counsel and used for entertainment purposes only**
-Chance favors the prepared mind
-"Guns don't kill people. People Kill People. Guns defend people from people with smaller guns." - American Dad
-It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
 
Posts: 4782 | Location: Albany, NY | Registered: February 28, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Ryanp225
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I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you.

And the all time best comeback:
Oh yeah? Well...... YOU PLAY BALL LIKE A GIRL!


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You can do it your own way, if it's done just how I say."
 
Posts: 6473 | Location: Colorado | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of thezoltar
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Just say "coming from you that doesn't mean much." This tends to confuse the insulter as to whether they are qualified to insult you and whether or not you just insulted them.


======
...welcome to the barnyard...some animals are more equal than others
 
Posts: 844 | Location: Utah | Registered: May 29, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chip away the stone
Picture of rusbro
posted Hide Post
"Your mom ___________________" (fill in the blank) is universally acceptable.
 
Posts: 9404 | Registered: August 22, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
posted Hide Post
A monkey walks into a bar...
I forget the rest, but your mom is a whore.




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" I could explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
 
Posts: 36279 | Location: My Happy Little Tire Swing | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Don't burn
the day away
posted Hide Post
YEars ago in a pretty intense basketball game:

Guy: you grabbed my balls!
Me: Your girlfriend doesn't even grab your balls!

He than tried fight me and got thrown out.
 
Posts: 1717 | Location: South central Ma.  | Registered: December 05, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unapologetic Old
School Curmudgeon
Picture of Lord Vaalic
posted Hide Post
Fuck you.

Pretty much covers most situations...


---------------------------------
- "This town reminds me of something in the bible."
- "Which part?"
- "The part right before god gets angry"
 
Posts: 7243 | Location: TN | Registered: December 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bendable
posted Hide Post
stand up when you are addressing me





Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.



Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
 
Posts: 44933 | Location: Henry County , Il | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of 1967Goat
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10 years ago, my now wife and I were first starting to date. She had a big roll of singles for some reason. So, I said to her, are you headed to the strip club?

Her reply: Yep, tips were good!
<mic drop>

We still joke about that.
 
Posts: 3892 | Location: 7400 feet in Conifer CO | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Mensch
Picture of kz1000
posted Hide Post
If I wanted to hear from a asshole I would have farted.


If I wanted any shit out of you I'd squeeze your head.


------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yidn, shreibt un fershreibt"
 
Posts: 13955 | Location: Ivorydale | Registered: January 21, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Shhh, the grown-ups are talking.
 
Posts: 206 | Registered: February 01, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by kz1000:
If I wanted to hear from a asshole I would have farted.


If I wanted any shit out of you I'd squeeze your head.


US Navy variant: "If I wanted any shit out of you, I'd screw the top off yer head and dip it out."
 
Posts: 9689 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of EasyFire
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Sadly I am an expert at carriage humour. You know that comeback line you think of after you are in your carriage on the way home. Frown
 
Posts: 920 | Location: Colorado | Registered: December 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
King Nothing
Picture of SigSauerP226
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Not a real wowzer, but my favorite answer to any inmate complaint possible, "Don't like it? Don't come to jail." Usually given when I'm just sick of their bullshit. There is nothing they can complain about that this doesn't effectively answer.
In response to the idea of the original post, a black inmate called me racist because I told him he would have to wait his turn to use the hair clippers. I pointed at two other black inmates behind him who had used the hair clippers first out of anybody and said, "I suppose you don't think those dudes are black?" Not a real zinger, but shut him up quick and resulted in the other inmates laughing at him.




...Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
 
Posts: 1827 | Location: Basement of Staples Center | Registered: September 25, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Sigforum K9 handler
Picture of jljones
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quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
A monkey walks into a bar...
I forget the rest, but your mom is a whore.


I ll take anal bum cover for $600.


_______________________________________________________________________
www.opspectraining.com

"Make it a shooting, and not a gunfight" LSP552 02/19/2011



 
Posts: 30685 | Location: Logical | Registered: September 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of dlc444
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You know who I am most envious of?

Everyone who has never met you.


-.---.----.. -.---.----.. -.---.----..
If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
 
Posts: 4019 | Location: Tampa | Registered: August 19, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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