Last modified on Wednesday 25 October 2017 06.01 EDT
By now, people have grown accustomed to television reboots. Whatever surges of fury they may have felt when CBS announced its Hawaii Five-O remake have long since been trampled into mush, thanks to the onslaught of reanimated classics like Lethal Weapon and MacGyver and Dallas and Dynasty and DuckTales and The Magic School Bus and the forthcoming Greatest American Hero redo. Reboots have simply become another bad thing we’re helpless against, like supervolcanoes or antibiotic resistance.


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But sometimes, just sometimes, somebody will have the gall to announce a reboot so brazen that it fires up the pit of the belly again. To wit, CBS has just ordered a pilot production commitment for a Magnum PI remake.

Magnum PI, for crying out loud. Is nothing sacred? Sure, on the surface, the original Magnum PI was just one of a glut of post-Vietnam shows about vigilante justice with a charismatic male lead and storylines that wrapped up neatly at the top of the hour. But it was special. Everyone knows it was special. By some absurd alchemy Magnum PI ended up perfectly written, perfectly cast and perfectly soundtracked, managing to be both of its time and utterly timeless. You don’t mess with Magnum PI.

Die-nasty: the original Dynasty triple threat of Linda Evans, Diahann Carroll and Joan Collins
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Die-nasty: the original Dynasty triple threat of Linda Evans, Diahann Carroll and Joan Collins. Photograph: Allstar/AARON SPELLING PROD.
Worse, the new Magnum will be produced by Paul Lenkov, who has made a cottage industry of watering down shows you used to love. Lenkov was also the mastermind behind the Hawaii Five-O and MacGyver reboots, which should be enough to give you pause. His speciality seems to be taking good, sturdy, landmark shows – shows which were undeniably key parts of the cultural landscape first time around – and turning them into wallpaper. His versions are bright and lively and absolutely hollow, full of grinning haircuts who operate without any meaningful motivation. They’re empty calories. They’re things designed to make noise in the background while you look up recipes on your phone. I’ve tried watching Lenkov’s Hawaii Five-O. I really have, multiple times, but it’s impossible. There’s no weight to it. It’s like watching mist.

And now they’re going to do the same to Magnum PI. Admittedly the original wasn’t perfect – remember the Murder She Wrote crossover episode and shudder – but it was solid and muscular enough to still stand on its own today. A new series will be utterly superfluous, not least because Tom Selleck won’t be playing Magnum.

This is why the Magnum PI remake will fail. It’s easy to reduce Selleck’s performance to the peripherals – a moustache, a cigar, a nice car – but that would be to do Selleck a grave disservice. The role fitted him like a glove, as if it had been created for him. He got to be funny and charming and wounded and angry and sexy, often all at the same time. Selleck was an unreconstructed man playing an idealised version of himself, and he was rewarded with an Emmy and seven consecutive Golden Globe nominations. His Magnum was what people wanted James Bond to be, stripped of all the alcoholism and sociopathy. The entire series rested on Selleck’s shoulders, and to simply palm it off with some modern-day B-list milquetoast is immediate death.


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Magnum PI is not alone in being untouchable. There have been many attempts to revive The Rockford Files over the years – with Dermot Mulroney, Josh Holloway and Vince Vaughn variously mooted to play the lead – but they all ended up dead on arrival because nobody could hold a candle to James Garner. Not even Sawyer from Lost could come close to his shambling brilliance, which is saying something. There will never be a Rockford Files reboot because Garner will never be topped, just as there will never be a Columbo reboot because Peter Falk will never be topped.

The same should apply to Magnum PI. The original series was lightning in a bottle, and it’s insulting to think it can be replicated. It couldn’t be replicated when they wanted to do a series with Eva Longoria as Magnum’s daughter and it can’t be replicated now. If you’re desperate to relive the 1980s, then do something smart like Stranger Things or GLOW and capture the feel of the era while mining fresh ideas. Or, if you absolutely must, pick another show to remake. Pick Small Wonder or The Powers of Matthew Star or She’s the Sheriff. But just leave Magnum alone, for all our sakes. https://www.theguardian.com/tv...agnum-pi-reboot-hell

The original Hawaii Five-O coming to an end in the mid seventies was exactly why the original Magnum was given the green light in the first place.

History is repeating itself.

They are desperate to find another Hawaii based production to use the resources there already from Hawaii Five O. When that show finally tanks (long overdue, I think), they'll still have production assets there to be used. With the exception that the original Five-O was actually a good show, same situation as before.

quote:

Originally posted by 83v45magna:
They are desperate to find another Hawaii based production to use the resources there already from Hawaii Five O. When that show finally tanks (long overdue, I think), they'll still have production assets there to be used. With the exception that the original Five-O was actually a good show, same situation as before.

Great point!

I can’t wait for a sensitive, transgender Magnum investigating white supremacists and fighting for social justice while cruising the island in eco friendly mass transit.

I heard Magnum will drive a red Prius in the reboot.

It'll never be Magnum with Tom Selleck. Yeah, the other characters were a big part but Tom Selleck WAS Magnum. None of these reboot shows are worth two shits and a giggle. Some of the movies pull it off (namely Marvel and DC) but the shows are a waste of time and money.

quote:

Originally posted by 83v45magna:
The original Hawaii Five-O coming to an end in the mid seventies was exactly why the original Magnum was given the green light in the first place.

History is repeating itself.

They are desperate to find another Hawaii based production to use the resources there already from Hawaii Five O. When that show finally tanks (long overdue, I think), they'll still have production assets there to be used. With the exception that the original Five-O was actually a good show, same situation as before.

Five O COULD be a good show if they would get rid of some of the dead weight. Like the black guy from Chicago, the hot dog guy, all female detectives etc.

T.C. will be gay, Rick will be a older woman running a yoga studio instead of a club/bar, and Higgins will be a retired british SAS operator with issues who happens to be the heir to a fortune and is transgendered.

I agree. Magnum Pi was the show to end all shows in the 80's. At least it was to me.

quote:

Originally posted by Cliff:
T.C. will be gay, Rick will be a older woman running a yoga studio instead of a club/bar, and Higgins will be a retired british SAS operator with issues who happens to be the heir to a fortune and is transgendered.

or,

TC Asian
Rick, Gay running a Gay bar (think Birdcage)
Higgins, empowered Woman of English heritage that is also known a Robin,,,,

quote:

Originally posted by ChuckFinley:

why do we keep going back to the 80s?

Because the kids of the 80's are the 40-somethings now buying the houses, cars, fridges, TV's, lawnmowers, and so on...

quote:

Originally posted by Bulldog7972:

quote:

Originally posted by 83v45magna:
The original Hawaii Five-O coming to an end in the mid seventies was exactly why the original Magnum was given the green light in the first place.

History is repeating itself.

They are desperate to find another Hawaii based production to use the resources there already from Hawaii Five O. When that show finally tanks (long overdue, I think), they'll still have production assets there to be used. With the exception that the original Five-O was actually a good show, same situation as before.

Five O COULD be a good show if they would get rid of some of the dead weight. Like the black guy from Chicago, the hot dog guy, all female detectives etc.

I used to think they could fix it as well. I thought that pretty much the whole time until I realized the entire production effort, probably from the top down, is pure imbecilic, leftist CBS drivel. As a consequence, I don't think it ever really stood a chance of rising above that.

The absolute worst part of the show has got to be Scott Caan. He, along with the idiotic writing.
'Danno' initially started out as probably the single best reason to watch. Then (I think within the first season) he eventually became just a gigantic, tiresome little bitch. That 'old married couple' crap between he and McGarrett is waaaay past old. Add to that he is portrayed as barely tolerating citizen ownership of firearms. An opinion I suspect, that is also held by the actor. We used to record it and watch when we had run out of other stuff and for a while it was tolerable as mindless entertainment. Then, we just wanted to know how stupid the next episode would be. Until finally we agreed the show was just too mindbogglingly stupid to watch anymore so we cancelled it. I immediately felt a little lighter for having done so.

quote:

Originally posted by 46and2:
I heard Magnum will drive a red Prius in the reboot.

And likely have a man bun and a ratty beard rather than a 'stache.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin101:
I agree. Magnum Pi was the show to end all shows in the 80's. At least it was to me.

I enjoyed it very much. And one of its strong points was that it was a Donald Bellisario production.
 

quote:

MacGyver

"Hawaii 5-0" is a waste of airtime and now the cast is beginning to flee. However it doesn't hold a candle to the ridiculously stupid "MacGyver"

I enjoyed the original MacGyver but this recreation is not only stupid, but the tricks are mostly scientifically impossible.

No creativity in Liberalwood anymore.

Opening sequence:

Magnum looks down at the ass of the flight attendant he is teaching to swim. Of course, it's a male flight attendant.

My favorite show of all time. Well, Justifed is right up there too.

I was doing some training In Potomac, MD and got to watch the last episode in the common area of the training facility that had a large TV set hooked up.

Link to original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBIgXhiOpeQ

quote:

Originally posted by RichN:
Opening sequence:

Magnum looks down at the ass of the flight attendant he is teaching to swim. Of course, it's a male flight attendant.

Dude! No! Just no.