Our last church before we moved was pretty big. We went most every Sunday and VBS but were not super active in small groups etc. then during covid they were locked down and we were watching online and a few weeks later the BLM stuff and then they got very woke. A friend was neighbors with an associate pastor and pastor was saying people were leaving due to woke sermons. We kinda just quit going. Not an airport, don’t need to announce your departure. Our new church is very small and welcoming and the pastor knew my name the next Sunday after we were introduced. Never even met the head pastor at the old church face to face.

It’s a good test to just leave and see if anyone calls. We left our last church and not one phone call or email. It proved we were right to leave.

"Let go, let God."

That's helped me a number of times, truly.

quote:

Originally posted by mark123:
It’s a good test to just leave and see if anyone calls. We left our last church and not one phone call or email. It proved we were right to leave.

Frankly, it's a terrible test except to find out if the church can function fine without you. If it can, maybe you weren't doing enough.

Did you call people who stopped coming?

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

50 ways...

quote:

Originally posted by YellowJacket:
Frankly, it's a terrible test except to find out if the church can function fine without you. If it can, maybe you weren't doing enough.

Did you call people who stopped coming?

Come on, Jack. I did every job at the church besides preaching. The church went on fine without me. I’m ok with that.

Seems that a church that caters to the younger generations chases off the older generations and if it caters to the older generations, the younger generations are chased out.

So, again, waiving my PA Dutchman's hammer...

Church isn't supposed to be about the lecture and songs on Sunday. Church is those who are gather in His name.

I know some different groups are doing different things, but most Communities would be better served by a garden, community kitchen, exercise center, etc than by a fancy auditorium*.

If its just strangers you go listen to a lecture with, you'll never get anywhere. At the least, the pastor should be using the Socratic method to get engagement.

*I'm talking about providing amenities for the Congregation. I honestly don't think charity, beyond the most basic of sustenance, makes sense, until the recipient is being molded into being part of a high-trust society.

Otherwise, he'll just keep being preyed upon, or turn into a predator himself, or both.

quote:

Originally posted by mcrimm:
Seems that a church that caters to the younger generations chases of the older generations and if it caters to the older generations, the younger generations are chased out.

That is common, but I've worked in and know of churches that do both well, and all generations thrive in fellowship together. It requires health, maturity, flexibility, and all sorts of other difficult things, like obedience to God.

quote:

Originally posted by Aglifter:
So, again, waiving my PA Dutchman's hammer...

Church isn't supposed to be about the lecture and songs on Sunday. Church is those who are gather in His name.

I know some different groups are doing different things, but most Communities would be better served by a garden, community kitchen, exercise center, etc than by a fancy auditorium*.

If its just strangers you go listen to a lecture with, you'll never get anywhere. At the least, the pastor should be using the Socratic method to get engagement.

*I'm talking about providing amenities for the Congregation. I honestly don't think charity, beyond the most basic of sustenance, makes sense, until the recipient is being molded into being part of a high-trust society.

Otherwise, he'll just keep being preyed upon, or turn into a predator himself, or both.

Amen, preacher. I did serve but ended up just serving the ministry itself. That’s a dead end.

quote:

Originally posted by YellowJacket:

Your first two sentences are blatantly false.

I guess "all" being an absolute might be incorrect. There are of course some that don't have that mind set. Not many around my parts. No church can operate with a negative cash flow. You may belong to a church that doesn't promote growth for the sake of income and that's great. I've witnessed many people giving more than they can afford to churches where the pastors pocket a lot of cash. Even catholic churches with the large network going all the way back to the Vatican, will close churches that run negative. Even catholic churches and Jewish synagogue as pious as they are have to take in more cash then they pay for expenses. They get tax exemptions and some incentives form the government, but there are many such churches that are closed because they are not profitable, and the property has substantial value. Kind of sounds like a business to me.

I left the church I grew up in around 15 or 16. The preacher was and still is a great man. When I hear or see the word “Christian” he’s what I think of. My problem with the church was the hypocrisy of the people that organized all the social functions. The “important” people looked down on my dad because he was a physical laborer and because he believed in personal responsibility. He would never sign petitions seeking to ban or regulate anyone’s life or behavior. One of the biggest jerks there was a bully and I hate people like that with a fiery passion. He had a messiah complex but he was a drunk and an adulterer. No one would call him on it and I got sick of it so I stopped going.

quote:

Seems that a church that caters to the younger generations chases of the older generations and if it caters to the older generations, the younger generations are chased out.

If the church congregation is big enough and age-diverse enough, having two services, one "traditional" with hymns and maybe even a choir(!) and one "contemporary" with a praise band can work well.

We left a community church which we had liked a lot for several reasons. First, they dissolved the choir in which my son and I sang; a lot of people who didn't sing in the choir left after that. The praise band was giving a performance, the congregation's participation seemed superfluous. Finally, after the George Floyd riots, the pastor sent a congregational letter in which he cited and recommended Ibrahim Kindi's Anti-Racism . When someone from the church called and asked me what I thought, that's what I cited as my main reason for no longer attending.

We have found a Baptist church which has a decent choir, active participation by the congregation in the worship singing, and Biblical preaching without politics. The church has sent 19 couples out as missionaries over the years and now has sister churches in some very far-out places. We really like supporting mission work.

I would simply stop going. No noise. The church left me long ago. I never looked back.

Find a church. Join a new gospel preaching church, and have them send a letter to your old church. That's what our church does.

quote:

Originally posted by BlackTalonJHP:
Find a church. Join a new gospel preaching church, and have them send a letter to your old church. That's what our church does.

What’s in the letter?

It just states that the person is now a member of our church and requests that they be removed from the membership rolls of the former church.

quote:

Originally posted by BlackTalonJHP:
It just states that the person is now a member of our church and requests that they be removed from the membership rolls of the former church.

I should request my name be removed from my old church membership list.

No need to "leave the church." You just don't go back.