^^
My name’s Joe Biden. I’m a Democratic candidate for the United States Senate,” Biden seamlessly continued, “Look me over. If you like what you see, help out. If not, vote for the other Biden."

HOUSTON, TX—Fresh off his afternoon nap, presidential candidate Joe Biden gave a fiery, high-energy speech in Houston today, claiming to be the only candidate who could beat incumbent Ronald Reagan.

"I am the only candidate who can unite the party to defeat Reagan," he said to scattered applause. "When Super Thursday hits here in a few weeks, we can rally the 150 million Democrats here in the great country of Texas to vote for me so we can get Reagan and his crony Dick Cheney off the Iron Throne there in the Imperial Senate. Go Hoosiers!"

Aides scrambled to turn off Biden's mic but he beat them away with his walker.

"The time has come for the reign of Tippecanoe and Tyler too to end!" he shouted, though by this point he had wandered into a nearby field and no one could hear him.

Thanks to the Babylon Bee.

quote:

Originally posted by chellim1:
^^
My name’s Joe Biden. I’m a Democratic candidate for the United States Senate,” Biden seamlessly continued, “Look me over. If you like what you see, help out. If not, vote for the other Biden."...

Yes,that is epic, yet they will still probably nominate him.

quote:

Originally posted by fpuhan:
HOUSTON, TX—Fresh off his afternoon nap, presidential candidate Joe Biden...

And even though what you and I posted is satire, it really isn't because it is on par with what he is really saying and doing. Like what Chellim posted above and this:


https://www.newsweek.com/joe-b...ng-died-1997-1488915


This is NOT satire:


JOE BIDEN CLAIMS TO HAVE WORKED ON 2016 PARIS CLIMATE DEAL WITH CHINESE LEADER WHO DIED IN 1997


Presidential candidate Joe Biden appeared to make another misstep during a campaign event in South Carolina on Monday, claiming to have worked on the Paris Climate Accord with former Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping, who died 19 years before the agreement was signed.

The former vice president spoke at the College of Charleston on Monday as the Democratic presidential hopefuls prepare for Saturday's South Carolina primary, which the Biden campaign is hoping will supercharge his as-yet sluggish charge for the party nomination.

Biden touted his two terms as vice president under President Barack Obama, arguing his experience made him the right person to take on and defeat President Donald Trump.

The former vice president cited his work on the Paris Climate Accord—from which Trump withdrew early in his presidency—as evidence of his ability to work with world leaders and gain their support for multilateral projects.

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But Biden, who has made multiple blunders while on the campaign trail, undermined his point by apparently confusing Chinese leaders, claiming to have worked on the deal with former premier Deng Xiaoping who died in 1997.

"One of the things I'm proudest of is getting passed, getting moved, getting in control of the Paris Climate Accord," Biden told the crowd. "I'm the guy who came back after meeting with Deng Xiaoping and making the case that I believe China will join if we put pressure on them. We got almost 200 nations to join."

Deng led China from 1978 until his retirement in 1992. Under his leadership, the Communist Party opened China to foreign investment and reaped the rewards of breakneck economic growth. The decision laid the foundations for contemporary China and its enormous economy.



.

Emails show Hunter Biden touted political connections to obtain university teaching job

https://www.washingtonexaminer...versity-teaching-job



Hunter Biden, the son of former Vice President Joe Biden, reportedly touted his political connections in order to obtain a teaching position at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law.

New emails reveal that, while communicating with university officials, Biden attempted to convince the administration to have him teach a course on drug policy, providing a potential list of guest lecturers who were largely connected to his father.

“In 2019, Hunter Biden inquired about the possibility of teaching a course at UCLA School of Law, and he and school leaders held preliminary conversations about the possibility,” Bill Kisliuk, the law school’s executive director of communications, told the Daily Caller. “Mr. Biden subsequently did not submit further materials for the proposed course, which is a required step when the school is considering adding a course. There are no plans for Mr. Biden to teach at the law school,” Kisliuk continued.

In July 2019, Biden reportedly emailed Jennifer Mnookin, the dean of UCLA's law school, saying he “would like to focus on domestic and international drug policy” and attaching a syllabus from a previous course he taught at Georgetown University. “I will have some combination of key decision makers, leading thinkers, policy implementers and grass roots advocates as guests for each topic,” he wrote in an email.

“For instance I’d like to have former Attorney’s General Dustin McDaniel of Arkansas and Patrick Lynch of Rhode Island to discuss their roles in the state class action suits brought against Purdue Pharma and possibly a prosecutor involved in the criminal cases against the Sackler family,” Biden wrote. “For plan Colombia the El Chapo extradition I’m certain I could get former President Pastrana of Colombia to discuss how he implemented ‘Plan Colombia’ with the US government along with Christopher Putala and Manus Cooney who were both chief’s of staff (Democrat and Republican) to the judiciary committee at the time."

“I would also invite former FBI Director Louis Freeh and possibly the US Attorney responsible for that extradition and indictment. For a the class on decriminalization I would invite [California] Governor [Gavin] Newsom (may be a long shot but I know he would consider it if his schedule allows)... The list goes on.”

The emails reportedly show that, at one point, Mnookin met with Biden about the course, noting she thought Biden's proposal "offers some very exciting possibilities."

“It was great to meet you and Melissa last month, and I very much appreciate your following up and sending along the attached syllabus,” she wrote in an August 2019 email. “I think this offers some very exciting possibilities, and I look forward to seeing what we may be able to do.”

Mnookin forwarded Biden's proposal to another UCLA law school official, Steven Bank, who later informed the former vice president's son that he would not be able to integrate the course into the school's curriculum until Spring 2021 "most likely." Conversations between university officials and Biden diminished after Bank's dismissal.

“Thanks for getting back to me so quickly, although I hope I didn’t give you the impression in my e-mail that this was a rush,” Bank said in an email. “If we decided to move forward, this wouldn’t even be considered by the Curriculum Committee and the Faculty until Spring 2020 for a Spring 2021 slot most likely.”

The controversy follows Joe Biden's public boast that he pressured Ukraine to fire a controversial top prosecutor whose office had investigated Burisma owner and Ukrainian oligarch Mykola Zlochevsky by threatening to withhold $1 billion in loan guarantees.

The former vice president has repeatedly denied doing so in order to benefit his son, who was on Burisma's board, in the face of corruption allegations by President Trump and his allies, which became the center of an impeachment effort.

Here's a clip from a little ways back. It just shows that Biden has been a slimy, piece of shit politician his entire adult life.

Or in other words, a lying, dog-faced pony soldier.

https://mobile.twitter.com/ben.../1235584871759740928

‪Stop Calling It A ‘Stutter’: Here Are Dozens Of Examples Of Biden’s Dementia Symptoms by Caitlin Johnstone https://link.medium.com/HQNIjo6PB4‬

quote:

Originally posted by rusbro:
‪Stop Calling It A ‘Stutter’: Here Are Dozens Of Examples Of Biden’s Dementia Symptoms by Caitlin Johnstone https://link.medium.com/HQNIjo6PB4‬

Not registering just to read an article.

Joe Bidet: When he’s done with your ass he‘ll grope and sniff it.

Joe's growing out his hair to attract the younger crowd.

quote:

Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:
Here's a clip from a little ways back. It just shows that Biden has been a slimy, piece of shit politician his entire adult life.

Or in other words, a lying, dog-faced pony soldier.
...

Says "it was his faulty memory". So, 33 years ago, he was suffering from memory lapses so large, he forgot simple details of major life events, and people want to give him a football and hope he knows what to do with it if that play ever happens?

I'll be Biden my time while I vote for a second helping of DJT.

Soooo, what has become apparent is that ol' Joe is carrying around a whole bunch of memoryfragments of stuff he's done in the past and he fits these fragments together like Lego pieces, to suit the occasion. There's usually factual basis for his jumbled bullshit but damn, that boy ain't right.

Eggo of my Lego.

30 years ago he was just a lying dullard, now he is a senile, lying dullard.

Soon we are going to hear how noble it will be to elect our first Alzheimers-American President and how we shouldn't be so narrow-minded and bigoted by voting against someone who has a medical condition.

Don't be Alzheimers-phobic. Vote for Joe.



.

quote:

Originally posted by TigerDore:
30 years ago he was just a lying dullard, now he is a senile, lying dullard.

That's the thing that gets me. Yes, it seems like his mind is slipping somehow. Alzheimer's, dementia, whatever. But at the same time, I very much get the impression that whatever Joe was back in his prime, he wasn't overburdened much with intelligence.

So, basically... they expect us to vote for a doddering, senile idiot who is a broken shell of his former self. There's a winning strategy right there.

The Democrats have really painted themselves into a corner. Or in other words, screwed the pooch! LOL LOL LOL
Rod

Mother of Hunter Biden's child wants him held in contempt of court for failing to provide documents

https://www.washingtonexaminer...to-provide-documents

The mother of Hunter Biden's child is seeking to have him held in contempt of court for failing to provide mandatory documentation.

Lunden Alexis Roberts, 28, filed a paternity suit against Biden alleging he is the father of her infant child last May, and a subsequent DNA test proved “with scientific certainty” that he is the father.

In court on Friday, Roberts's lawyers filed a renewed motion for contempt and for order to show cause because Biden, 50, has not supplied her with a copy of his 2017 and 2018 personal tax returns, along with a long list of other items, according to Arkansas Online. Clint Lancaster, her lawyer, said Biden "has continued to flaunt the orders of this court by failing to answer discovery, comply with court orders, and provide his financial information."

Biden, who is pursing an art career, allegedly failed to disclose "all financial institutions used by him or a business he owns or controls," "a list of all companies he currently owns or in which he has an ownership interest and the state in which those companies are incorporated," "a list of all sources of income for the past five years," "a list of all employers for the past five years," tax documents for companies he owns, and "a copy of deeds to properties that he owns or in which he has an ownership interest."

This is the third time Roberts's representation filed similar motions.

Circuit Judge Don McSpadden, who was presiding over the case before abruptly recusing himself, ordered both parties to supply the court with their "five most recent paystubs or five previous years of tax returns" last December. Less than two weeks later, the judge signed a separate order instructing both parties to provide the court and opposing counsel with "A. their personal tax returns for the past five years; and B. any and ALL financial documents and information showing money or monies they received in the past five years."

Both parties reached an agreement that would have given Biden until last Sunday to comply with the judge's orders, and if he did so, the judge would dismiss the contempt motions, but Roberts's lawyers allege he hasn't done that.

Biden, a recovering addict who lives in a 2,000-square-foot Hollywood Hills home, is supposed to sit down for a deposition in Little Rock, Arkansas, regarding the case next week.

He is expecting a fifth child, this one with his new wife, 33-year-old Melissa Cohen.

Biden's name was highlighted throughout President Trump's impeachment investigation after the president asked Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to look into Joe and Hunter Biden's dealings in the country. Sen. Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, the chairman of the Homeland Security Committee, is looking into Biden's work with Burisma Holdings, a Ukrainian gas company.

Republicans have questioned why Burisma gave Hunter a high-paying position on the company board despite him having little experience in the energy sector and a well-documented problem with drug use. At the time, Joe Biden was leading the Obama administration’s diplomatic efforts in Ukraine, leaving critics, including President Trump, to wonder if the company used the younger Biden to leverage the former vice president.

Biden now refers to his opponent as the BERNIE BROTHERS. This gets funnier by the moment. Cannot wait for the debate between Biden and Trump. I am sure the Trump campaign is preparing a series of one liners. Joe has set himself up for some real zingers.

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
Biden now refers to his opponent as the BERNIE BROTHERS.

Joe Biden is the Jethro Bodine to my Jed Clampett.

Bernie is granny then