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Shall Not Be Infringed |
I won't begin to tell you what you need to do here, but I can tell you're feel like you're at the end of your rope. Your wife probably says 'he can't help it', and meanwhile you're saying 'I can't take it'! Plus, it's the holiday season, which is stressful enough and you don't need this right now. Take a breath...This was eight months ago! And so Jr. turns 21 today ____________________________________________________________ If Some is Good, and More is Better.....then Too Much, is Just Enough !! Trump 47....Making America Great Again! "May Almighty God bless the United States of America" - parabellum 7/26/20 Live Free or Die! | |||
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| Like a party in your pants  |
I'm not too far from you as far as location. My kids have all made it past this HARD age group. It sounds like you might just need somebody to talk it out with that has no attachments to your problems. If you ever just want to sit down and have a drink someplace and talk, give me a call. | |||
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| Member |
Child rearing is a joy sometimes. This was recommended to us at the time https://www.amazon.com/Boundar...ontrol/dp/0310351804 Cause and effect need to be clearly established. May be too late. People definitely seem more willing to take advantage today and seem to think they are entitled to do so. | |||
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| Member |
I was not much of a disciple problem growing up, but as soon as I graduated college ( there was no reason to move out on my own at that point) I started paying room and board and would not have thought of straying from standard rules of behavior in the household. Some younger people need the tough love approach and will be better off in the long run for it | |||
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| Member |
Has he been receiving professional help for the autism/ADHD/Aspergers? Is he on meds? Any one of those three can result in aberrant and extremely emotional behavior (temper tantrums, intractability, etc.) It would seem questionable that his issues are a matter solely of attitude. I ask because, if these routes havent been pursued, putting him out may be a blueprint for disaster and worse times for everyone. To use an extreme example, if he's been professionally diagnosed, and received appropriate treatment, and simply has a bad attitude, that's one thing. If at the other extreme, he's never received any treatment, then it's amazing the problems aren't worse than what you've described. As a parting thought - and not by way of criticism or disrespect - but almost all ADHD sufferors are emotional and can be short tempered. You as well as the GF's son may both be triggering and responding to each other in a more extreme fashion than typical. I wish you all the best. __________________________ "Sooner or later, wherever people go, there's the law. And sooner or later, they find out that God's already been there." -- John Wayne as Chisum | |||
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| Leftists, what more needs to be said? |
Thank you armored. I might just take you up on that. | |||
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| Member |
This right here. Know your rights. Know his rights. Know the law. These situations are super frustrating from the LE side and I am sure far far worse from the inside. If it comes down to it, you probably will need an eviction, whether he pays rent, has a lease, or not. Obviously that isn't an issue if he chooses to leave on his own, but few do in these kinds of circumstances. I hope it works out. | |||
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| Leftists, what more needs to be said? |
I would like to thank everyone for their help but I also need to apologize. I just reread my original post and frankly it’s a bit over the top. I don’t recall wording it that strongly but I see that I did. That’s embarrassing and I’m sorry. I really should have calmed down before typing it like that. My son took it upon himself to apologize to mom for his behavior so I’ve calmed down. Thanks again everyone. | |||
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| The Main Thing Is Not To Get Excited  |
No you don't, not as far as I'm concerned. It's gracious of you to do so though. I and obviously others here have been through similar or worse. Part of the way you can tell you aren't over the top is that nobody has said so. The membership here is not shy about what they might think. I wish you good luck, my man. _______________________ | |||
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Member |
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. The red flags that pop up for me is he’s 21 and still doesn’t know that actions have consequences? Also, Mom is not backing you up. Also, family is not backing you up. If they’re willing to call the cops on you, why dont they let Junior live with them? Kids are smart. The reason they act like that is because he knows he can get away with it and Mom will have his back. I’ve had to go through the same thing. Why would he change his ways when it works every time with mom. ----------------------------------------- Roll Tide! Glock Certified Armorer NRA Certified Firearms Instructor | |||
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| If you see me running try to keep up  |
This starts at infancy, I see young parents who are being played by babies. They think if they are crying they need to drop what they are doing and tend to the baby. I will tell them “you know that is a fake cry don’t you?”. You can tell when a baby is really crying versus crying to get attention. You have to stop that from when they are babies or they will continue to play the parents as long as they are allowed. The best things for children are not always the easy things to do. | |||
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| In the yahd, not too fah from the cah  |
This may sound a bit out of left field but give me some rope and hear me out. Have you considered therapy? Either for just yourself or for your whole family as one? I think at the minimum, you having some for yourself might help. Most people associate it with being a negative thing, or with that being a negative statement towards someone, but it's really not. It's an unbiased third party who has training to help guide you through difficult times. It might help you get a clear head on how to handle the difficulties. Whether you choose to kick him out or not. | |||
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| Sigforum K9 handler |
I don’t know what state you reside in but you’ll possible have to go through the formal court preceding eviction process. Which means more stress. I would consult with a local attorney to find out exactly what is needed to follow through. Because there’s a high likelihood that when you reach your breaking point, you call the police, and they will do nothing. Because they can do nothing. Eviction, short of paper service and the forcible detainer process, is civil in most states. ________________ People hate you. Train like it. | |||
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Get Off My Lawn |
Maybe ask Para to lock this down. "I’m not going to read Time Magazine, I’m not going to read Newsweek, I’m not going to read any of these magazines; I mean, because they have too much to lose by printing the truth"- Bob Dylan, 1965 | |||
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| Member |
21? I was out at 16. My brother's shit was put on the porch at 18. I guess I'm old. | |||
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| Leftists, what more needs to be said? |
Lock it? Nah! I’ll let this play out oddball. I posted it, I’ll own it. Apologizing for my mistakes doesn’t bother me at all. I grew up with being an unfocused ADHD kid when not many knew what it was including me. I messed up a lot more than most. So learning to apologize for my interruptions, indiscretions, and forgetfulness came pretty naturally to me. Jones, I wouldn’t bother wasting a cops time for crap like an argument. They’ve got better things to do. Some people try to utilize the police like they’re babysitters or counselors. They aren’t! | |||
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