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Drug Dealer |
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled? A: Have you ever tried to iron one? When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | ||
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| Did you come from behind that rock, or from under it?  |
The teacher asks: "Davy? What sound does a cow make?" "Moo" "And Alice, what sound does a cat make?" "Meow." "And Little Johnny, what sound does a mouse make?" "Click!" "Every time you think you weaken the nation" Moe Howard | |||
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| Member |
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10 tickles! Silent | |||
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| Drug Dealer |
Q: What is the plural of octopus? A: Hexadecapus. When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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| Member |
If April showers bring May Flaowers, what do May Flowers bring?........Pilgrims!! ------------------------------------ Good men must sometimes do bad things to bad people; to keep them from doing bad things to the innocent !! | |||
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| Member |
How do you fix a tuba? Tuba glue! Why was the King only a foot tall? Is is a ruler. Knock, knock. Whose there? I eat Mop I eat Mop who? Hehe ________________________ P229 Stainless Elite P320 X-Five Legion P320 X-Carry | |||
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| I started with nothing, and still have most of it  |
Here's the best one ever! Q. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? A. "Men, get in the boat." "While not every Democrat is a horse thief, every horse thief is a Democrat." HORACE GREELEY | |||
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Now and Zen |
A beautiful woman decides to move to America from France, she is standing at the curb, after arriving in the US, waiting for a cab, when a man sees her and pulls up to the curb in his convertible. "Hey, baby, you want a ride?" he says. "Oui, oui!" she tells him. "Oh, yeah, not in my new car you don't!" and speeds off. ___________________________________________________________________________ "....imitate the action of the Tiger." | |||
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| Duke of Detroit |
Q Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas | |||
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Legalize the Constitution |
What's black and white and red all over? A wounded nun _______________________________________________________ despite them | |||
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| His diet consists of black coffee, and sarcasm.  |
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? It couldn't. Without muscles, tendons, nerves and a brain to control them, skeletons are incapable of walking. | |||
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| Member |
I remember that one as a nun falling down the stairs. | |||
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| Legalize the Constitution |
That one (as I remember) goes: What's black and white, and black and white, and black and white... What's black, sits in a tree, and is extremely dangerous? A crow with a machine gun _______________________________________________________ despite them | |||
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Member |
Q: A large moron and a petite moron were perched on the edge of a precipice. The diminutive moron fell off. Why did didn't his larger college fall. A: He had more on. | |||
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| His diet consists of black coffee, and sarcasm. |
What's black and always in the back of a police car? The seat. | |||
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| Member |
Whats brown and sticky? A stick ------------------------------ I'm a right wing, anti-illegal, pro-life, gun owning, straight, white, college educated, politically informed, conservative, Christian male. Liberals hate me. | |||
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Funny Man |
What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and Sticky? A stick of gum. ______________________________ “I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.” ― John Wayne | |||
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| Member |
What did one wall say to the other wall? Meet you at the corner. | |||
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| Member |
How much corn did the chicken eat? A peck or two | |||
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Member |
A penguin with a sunburn is also an acceptable answer.
--------------------------------------- It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves. | |||
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