SIGforum
How about some really stupid 3rd grade jokes?

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https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/8690062224

April 06, 2017, 11:38 AM
Jim Shugart
How about some really stupid 3rd grade jokes?
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
April 06, 2017, 11:50 AM
Audioholic
The teacher asks:
"Davy? What sound does a cow make?" "Moo"
"And Alice, what sound does a cat make?" "Meow."
"And Little Johnny, what sound does a mouse make?" "Click!"




"Every time you think you weaken the nation" Moe Howard
April 06, 2017, 02:54 PM
Silent
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

10 tickles!

Silent
April 06, 2017, 03:10 PM
Jim Shugart
Q: What is the plural of octopus?

A: Hexadecapus.



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
April 06, 2017, 04:32 PM
ajm10
If April showers bring May Flaowers, what do May Flowers bring?........Pilgrims!!


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Good men must sometimes do bad things to bad people; to keep them from doing bad things to the innocent !!
April 06, 2017, 04:37 PM
heisrizn
How do you fix a tuba?
Tuba glue!

Why was the King only a foot tall?
Is is a ruler.

Knock, knock.
Whose there?
I eat Mop
I eat Mop who? Hehe


________________________
P229 Stainless Elite
P320 X-Five Legion
P320 X-Carry

April 06, 2017, 04:52 PM
stiab
Here's the best one ever!
Q. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?

A. "Men, get in the boat."


"While not every Democrat is a horse thief, every horse thief is a Democrat." HORACE GREELEY
April 06, 2017, 05:21 PM
clubleaf206
A beautiful woman decides to move to America from France, she is standing at the curb, after arriving in the US, waiting for a cab, when a man sees her and pulls up to the curb in his convertible.

"Hey, baby, you want a ride?" he says.

"Oui, oui!" she tells him.

"Oh, yeah, not in my new car you don't!" and speeds off.


___________________________________________________________________________
"....imitate the action of the Tiger."
April 06, 2017, 05:34 PM
Mr.Wonderful
Q Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

A: He didn't have the guts.



The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas
April 06, 2017, 05:50 PM
TMats
What's black and white and red all over?


A wounded nun


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despite them
April 06, 2017, 05:59 PM
egregore
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

It couldn't. Without muscles, tendons, nerves and a brain to control them, skeletons are incapable of walking.
April 06, 2017, 06:37 PM
DitchDoctor911
quote:
Originally posted by TMats:
What's black and white and red all over?


A wounded nun


I remember that one as a nun falling down the stairs.
April 06, 2017, 06:46 PM
TMats
quote:
Originally posted by DitchDoctor911:
quote:
Originally posted by TMats:
What's black and white and red all over?


A wounded nun


I remember that one as a nun falling down the stairs.

That one (as I remember) goes:
What's black and white, and black and white, and black and white...

What's black, sits in a tree, and is extremely dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun


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despite them
April 06, 2017, 06:59 PM
msfzoe
Q: A large moron and a petite moron were perched on the edge of a precipice.
The diminutive moron fell off.
Why did didn't his larger college fall.
A: He had more on.
April 06, 2017, 07:02 PM
egregore
What's black and always in the back of a police car?
The seat.
April 06, 2017, 07:10 PM
KShooter
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick


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I'm a right wing, anti-illegal, pro-life, gun owning, straight, white, college educated, politically informed, conservative, Christian male. Liberals hate me.
April 06, 2017, 07:24 PM
TXJIM
What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and Sticky?

A stick of gum.


______________________________
“I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.”
― John Wayne
April 06, 2017, 07:38 PM
berto
What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you at the corner.
April 06, 2017, 08:42 PM
elmer
How much corn did the chicken eat?

A peck or two
April 06, 2017, 09:21 PM
Jimbo Jones
A penguin with a sunburn is also an acceptable answer.

quote:
Originally posted by DitchDoctor911:
quote:
Originally posted by TMats:
What's black and white and red all over?


A wounded nun


I remember that one as a nun falling down the stairs.



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It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves.