I will really shorten this. Basically my ex is upset that I'm going to my kid's hockey game today. We agreed that we would go on our weekends as she didn't want to see me (this is usually only in affect when she is mad at me. Usually it's jealousy that I have a girlfriend). We get along most of the time but then she goes a bit off the rails once in a while.

Prior to High School hockey games were only on weekends so it was fine. But I'm not going to miss weekday games as that would mean I'd miss a lot of high school games. Our divorce agreement states we both can go to all functions such as sports, etc.


Anyhow, I think she is just using threats. But she says that if she sees me she will file a restraining order because she should have to feel uncomfortable at the games.

I'm guessing there's more to it than just filing and she probably should need evidence of a threat or something. But I don't want her wackiness affecting my gun license.

Any info would be helpful on if she can get a restraining order without any threat, just for her "comfort" and if she files false allegations if she can get in trouble. I have all her texts so I'm not concerned that I can show this is all just upset ex wife.

Thanks

You need legal advice here. Check with your attorney.

Is she texting or e-mailing her threats (i.e. putting it in writing)? If yes, show to your attorney and follow their recommendation.

I did a quick check (i.e. OP should check further) to see if your state is a one-party consent (i.e. you only need your own permission to record a conversation). It looks like MA is an all-party consent state (everyone has to agree ahead of time to record the call). New York and Rhode Island both appear to be the nearest on-party consent states so your attorney should be consulted before you drive there to make the recorded phone call.

TALK WITH YOUR LAWYER!!!

NOW!!!

Irrespective of the validity of a claim that results in a protective order, such an order may result in your firearms being seized by the police.

There's an app that can record and save your phone calls.

I'm just saying.

Good luck to you.

Spend the money.
Talk to your lawyer.
Present any texts/emails/voice mails that pertain.
Been through this myself in Texas.
Divorce is a chess game.
In a minefield.

Not a LEO, but document EVERYTHING! Keep every email, text, and write down snip-its of conversations with dates/time in a bound journal.

Off Topic: I had an issue with a promotion at work and because I had a pile of evidence that HR did not do their due diligence and I had treated legal action not only did I get the promotion, but a substantial bump in pay due to their mishandling of the paper work.

quote:

Originally posted by OKCGene:
There's an app that can record and save your phone calls.

Can you tell me the name of this app, for iPhone?

I need to call a government agency for some information. I'm pretty sure that this particular agency records all communications, I would like to have a copy on my end. Nothing nefarious here, I just want to make sure that I have an accurate record of the information that they give me.

Talk to your attorney, save the texts, get legal advice, and enjoy your kids hockey game.

It’s not your fault the ex-bitch is upset you have moved on and that shouldn’t keep you from your kids events, per the divorce agreement.

I am not LEO, but have personal experience.

On something this important, always get legal advise. I had a restraining order on my ex, years ago, when I lived in a different state. It was hard to get. Even with proof & reports he was harassing & threatening me. I had to prove I was "in fear for my life". Hardest thing I ever had to do but I am proud of myself for standing up to him. I knew I had to stand my ground or my confidence in my own life would have been destroyed that it wouldn't matter if he really did kill me. Because of all the proof I had, the judge gave me the maximum restraining order he could legally. It has ran out & every day I still look over my shoulder.

If your ex did file false claims, she "could" get in trouble but you'd have to prove it, which is very hard to do. It usually boils down to "he said, she said."

As others have already said, let your lawyer deal with this. Yes, you need to make a copy of the threatening texts.
To address your original question; I would guess that your ex would need to swear some sort of legal affidavit to file for a restraining order where she swears under penalty of perjury this is the truth. So would they then file charges? Who knows but she'd have to be an idiot if your lawyer contacts her, you have copies of the communication and she files a false report with the court.

Oh, keep a hard copy of the divorce agreement on you. If she does call the cops on you, show it to them so they know you are not in violation of the agreement. If that happens also get report numbers so if you do have to go to court, you have references of times she called the cops basically for no reason other than to harass you. You want anything that can help you in court written up officially. Sometimes that doesn't get done unless you request it. I learned the hard way.

I’ve talked to my lawyer about this when it came up before. He basically said to follow my agreement and we can’t do much unless she actually tries to file. I any case everything is text. I save all of it. It’s all very clear to anyone reading that these are emotional outburst from her. She’s fine for months then loses her shit for some reason. Im just hoping that she knows filing would be bad for her since it’s baseless. If she realizes this it’s all just empty threats to try to control the situation.

Maybe not a good idea to be too specific here.

Anybody can read this section of the forum, you do not have to be a member, you do not have to log in.

Print off your texts and place them in a three ring binder....when or if the time comes, it’s real nice to just hand the judge the entire conversation on paper....makes you look squared away and non vindictive.

Im sure it varies greatly by state.

In PA filing a restraining order is initally one sided. She would fill out papers stating why she is requesting a PFA. A judge would then sign off on the PFA and you would be given a court date to appear and give your own statements.

I would assume one would not be granted because she is uncomfortable being around you in a public place. But then again, a lot of it is cover your ass and a judge my vary well grant one. You really cant do anything until she starts the process.

Don't they have to have an actual legitimate reason to file?
Seems that a judge would/should squash on application but maybe I am just naïve on how things work.

Just do your thing then, IAW the divorce agreement.

Don't allow yourself to be alone with her, ever. Don't fall for the "Oh, I want to talk to you in private" - "No, we can talk right here in the hallway with everyone around". You gain nothing by it.

The truth is your ex-wife isn't emotionally stable and as time marches on, your 'stock' as a person is only increasing, while hers continues to decline.

It's a sad but true fact that men continue to be available and desirable into their 50s / 60s / 70s, while single, crazy women of the same age bracket wither on the vine for legitimate, meaningful attention. Sure, they can do the cougar thing for awhile, but even then the young guys will quickly tire of her beyond sex.

So just do your thing and always protect yourself, because doing that protects your children. Don't fall for her bullshit and you are already on the right track to document / keep everything and bring / have witnesses anytime she could be around.

quote:

Originally posted by MikeinNC:
Print off your texts and place them in a three ring binder....when or if the time comes, it’s real nice to just hand the judge the entire conversation on paper....makes you look squared away and non vindictive.

Yup, written word is very valuable when it comes to that time, instead of "oh so and so said this or that".

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

Originally posted by OKCGene:
There's an app that can record and save your phone calls.

Can you tell me the name of this app, for iPhone?

I need to call a government agency for some information. I'm pretty sure that this particular agency records all communications, I would like to have a copy on my end. Nothing nefarious here, I just want to make sure that I have an accurate record of the information that they give me.

Be careful with this kind of recording, talk to your lawyer about it first before doing it. You might wind up with something very powerful for you to use, OTOH, you might break the law yourself.

In OR the wiretapping statute is not violated if one party to the conversation knows that the conversation is recorded. There is no requirement for notice to be given to the other party. That might not be true in your state for phone calls. [by contrast, in-person conversations may only be recorded if both parties have reasonable expectation that they are being recorded.]

As stated before, keep a log of all dates, times and content of calls.

Good luck.

You live in MA. You need to read this to see how easy it is for a woman to file a restraining order against you and how easy it is to have your guns confiscated in the Bay State.

If Massachusetts’ gun law protects its citizens better than elsewhere, why should anyone quibble about the police role in it, or is this quibble really an NRA-type whinge?