quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
And in 3 more years when the youngest turns 18, you can block your ex-wife’s number permanently an always go direct to your adult children.

Along with terminating any remaining child & spousal support.

I wish child support ended at 18. If they go to college I pay until they are 23.

Friend of mine from MAss had to pay 7 yrs maintenance to his spouse. His variables may be different than yours, but he hated MAss laws which favor female spouses. Ymmv.

quote:

Originally posted by frayedends:

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
And in 3 more years when the youngest turns 18, you can block your ex-wife’s number permanently an always go direct to your adult children.

Along with terminating any remaining child & spousal support.

I wish child support ended at 18. If they go to college I pay until they are 23.

Hopefully you can pay them instead of her. Or convince them to “take a year off to see the world”.

It’s usually around this time that people wish they had paid the $5-10K for a good divorce lawyer instead of ‘being amicable’.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:

quote:

Originally posted by frayedends:

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
And in 3 more years when the youngest turns 18, you can block your ex-wife’s number permanently an always go direct to your adult children.

Along with terminating any remaining child & spousal support.

I wish child support ended at 18. If they go to college I pay until they are 23.

Hopefully you can pay them instead of her. Or convince them to “take a year off to see the world”.

It’s usually around this time that people wish they had paid the $5-10K for a good divorce lawyer instead of ‘being amicable’.

In Massachusetts there isn't anything a lawyer can do regarding child support. It's the law of the state. The state doesn't even allow spouses to agree to lower child support because they see it as money for the kids and it has nothing to do with the parents. Luckily I do not pay any alimony.

I may sound paranoid but I think that I would ask a friend to take care of my guns now rather than later.

Jim

An interesting update. This was my weekend. My son had his first high school hat trick. Ex wasn't there obviously. Now she is upset and wants us to be able to go to all games. WTF. LOL

Basically she realized that none of us gain by the arrangement she originally wanted. Heck she even acted like it was all my idea. Maybe it's split personality disorder. I have no idea.

quote:

Originally posted by frayedends:
An interesting update. This was my weekend. My son had his first high school hat trick. Ex wasn't there obviously. Now she is upset and wants us to be able to go to all games. WTF. LOL

Basically she realized that none of us gain by the arrangement she originally wanted. Heck she even acted like it was all my idea. Maybe it's split personality disorder. I have no idea.

Nah, she's just fracking crazy.

Congrats to your son, that's pretty sweet.

I know a guy who’s EX called the cops on him multiple times, saying he was going to shoot her, etc.. He already had all guns removed, the police still searched, as he was cuffed in the backseat.

After the divorce was finally final, the EX would ask him to lunch, and more. They do have a midlin daughter to coordinate over. He only communicates about the daughter, as the EX devolved into a mess.

He knows she’s a nut, remembers all the pain and lies she dealt. Just saying, if she regrets a decision she made earlier, her own, not uncommon at all. Of course us guys get accused of being to practical.

Like the quote in the movie with Jack Nicholson, ‘you take the man’s mind and remove reasoning and accountability to end up how women(some at least) think.

quote:

Maybe it's split personality disorder. I have no idea.

Boarder line personality disorder.

She is trying to tweak you any way she can. Probably is hoping that you will give up and say, yes honey, let's get back together.

So by the mental harassment, she stabs you in the back and makes you miserable, or you get romanticaly involved with her again. In her mind she wins either way.

Sounds pretty standard for BPD wife. With the slightest inconvenience everything flips around, for good or bad.

All I can offer is that you thicken your skin, talk to several lawyers, even if it costs you some money, you may have to eat beans and rice and suck it up for a while, and get your shit squared away.

Lemme preach on it...

You have to be there for the long haul for your kid(s), I know you know that, and getting the right lawyer to help you create the most defensible offense you can and find a way to "bring it home" to your ex.

The only thing she will understand and react to (in your favor) is the fear of fucking up.

You need to find her Krypton and then mine a fuckton of it and spread it all around you.

If this means laying off booze, chasin' cooze or takin' a weekend snooze, then do it.

You need to do it for you so you can be there for your son.

If cutting out all the things you really do not need to survive and hiring a private investigator to dig up anything on her you can, and then take the fight to her.

But, you need to make sure you document everything, broadcast nothing and get a lawyer to advise you on how to do this.

No one is any good to their kids if they are strung out wondering what some crazy vindictive ex is doing or going to do next.

Cover your ass, and go on the offense and take the fight to her.

In some cases, the only way you can "get along" is when the other person fears anything that anything they do will bring a shitstorm.

And last, if you think this dynamic as it currently is playing out, is not fucking up your son, email me, I'll give you my phone number and really talk your ear off...