'stay in your lane' is usually a snarky response

'source' when used to mean acquire or purchase always sounded a bit uppity

Swim lanes
Drill down
Footprint
Customer-facing
Roadmap

Re-entered corporate about a year ago. One I've seen that makes crazy,

Pain Points. Makes me want to break a window in my house every time I see or hear it. Came down from top execs, and you can show your mindless devotion and brown nosing by dropping it in any lower level conversation.

"Tracking" This one has taken over the Army. Can't get through 2 sentences without saying tracking 3 times.

I'm tracking. I'm not tracking. Are they tracking?

The one's I see are tracking Amazon orders, and nothing else.



Loathe is exactly the right word for this genre.

quote:

Originally posted by Gregbug:
Swim lanes
Drill down
Footprint
Customer-facing
Roadmap

Yikes

That's a really good question...

Ok let's hear a really good answer and not some bullshit non-answer

"You are Double Muted"
"Work/Life Balance" - The company sent us home last March and we are still not back in the office. There is no balance when work and home are the same...

‘Pivot’ seems to be trending lately in my particular slice of the corporate world.

quote:

Originally posted by sigcrazy7:

I dislike the use of the domain ".gov" when someone is writing about the government. If you want to abbreviate "government" to "gov," okay, but what is with the dot?

Same with ".mil"

"I just wanted to touch base with you ..." is one of my red-flag phrases. When I hear it I immediately want to say, "no, I'm not interested in Amway".

Assertively optimize impactful technologies = grab the correct socket to remove truck nuts

Seamlessly initiate cloud-centric core competencies = watch three YouTube videos about plugging in new computer equipment

Credibly utilize functionalized best practices = stop doing the same stupid shit over and over expecting different results

Synergistically actualize diverse schemas = sales department meeting generated a new product idea that didn’t work the last seventeen times it was tried

Objectively administrate intermandated interfaces = when Para moves your new thread to another subforum

Have a “national conversation,” which is not intended to be a conversation at all.

Legislate “common sense X,” which isn’t common sense at all.

quote:

Originally posted by MelissaDallas:
Have a “national conversation,” which is not intended to be a conversation at all.

Legislate “common sense X,” which isn’t common sense at all.

I have a particular hatred for the phrase "national dialogue."

The reason is simple. A person who used that phrase started a sequence of events that damned near caused my life to end.

Around 7:00 pm on December 9, 1982, I and two friends were sitting in my first new car (I owned it one week to the day) at a stop light at the intersection of Columbia Pike and Braddock Road outside Bailey's Crossroads, VA.

Sitting there, we ere rear ended by young man who was doing over 80 mph down Columbia Pike, heading toward Fairfax, VA

This person, who was schizophrenic, was driven over the edge of sanity by the actions of Norman Mayer, an anti-nuclear weapons activist.

Mayer parked a van emblazoned with left side signage saying "#1 PRIORITY: BAN NUCLEAR WEAPONS" next to the base of the Washington Monument. He then jumped out wearing a black motorcycle helmet, a bright blue snowsuit, and an electric device that might have been a remote control. Mayer claimed that he would destroy the Monument with 1,000 pounds (500 kg) of TNT loaded in his van unless "a national dialogue" on the threat of nuclear weapons was seriously undertaken.

What does Mayer have to do with a schizophrenic in Arlington, VA?

The guy that hit me was driving insanely (literally) because he believed he had to get to a particular intersection in Fairfax, VA by 8 pm in order to stop a nuclear war. He was not drunk or on drugs, in fact, the only thing found in his late model Camaro was a large analog clock wedged between the steering column and the dashboard.

The Braddock Road and Columbia Pike (in this image of the intersection the POV is from the lane I was in) is a "T" with Braddock forming the vertical column and Columbia Pike the crosspiece.

At the intersection, Columbia Pike he encountered four stopped cars in his path: mine in the right lane, two in the middle lane, and one in the left turn lane. He didn't brake but instead tried to pass between the middle row of two cars and my lone car in the right lane. In doing so, he clipped the rear car of the two in the middle lane and rocketed straight into my car, hitting it so hard the impact drove the rear bumper all the way into the rear tires' rims.

When my car stopped rolling and I got out and started walking back up the road trying to figure out what just happened, when I encountered a young man stumbling around muttering over and over "I've got to get to Fairfax Circle by 8 o'clock - its the only way to stop a nuclear war" (or words to that effect).

I and two close friends were every nearly killed by this guy. At the hospital, where we were taken for evaluation, the investigating police officer told me it was nothing short of a miracle no one was seriously injured.

My response was not going into a rage and beating on the guy or even threatening him. Instead, I told him to sit down and wait for the police, and if they agreed, they'd be certain to get him there in time. Later I appeared in court when he was tried for reckless driving and driving without insurance.

In a strange coincidence, Mayer was shot and killed by a US Park Police officer I knew professionally.

Later on, in my profession I managed two and participated in three national dialogue events. Here too I developed an even more serious distaste for that phrase.

Do not drift this thread. Look at the subject line. Got anything to contribute? Otherwise, keep it out of here. Use your head, please.

Cannot stand the "Let me be clear" as a start to a statement.

xantom, that video was great. It really made me laugh, but then I realized there are people who actually talk that way. I used to work with a few of them.

I’m thankful I am retired.

quote:

Originally posted by 2Adefender:
xantom, that video was great. It really made me laugh, but then I realized there are people who actually talk that way. I used to work with a few of them.

Oh yes I get to deal with them daily. The best part of that video was that no one was working at all

"EOP" [End of Play] = We don't care what else you got going on, or what time it is; this needs to be done before you can go to bed (And this in no way mitigates any of you other tasks)

"Incremental Growth" [usually in relations to sales] = We don't care how great yours or the teams #s are, or mitigating factors like 2/3 of our capacity is non-existent. What you are doing is not good enough. Do that plus more and also give us something new and more. (And we all know, even that will not be enough)