quote:

Originally posted by SIG4EVA:
The bigger question is how did you marry someone like that in the first place.

You want to tread lightly. Really, you do.

Thirty-six years is about half a lifetime. People change.

Think before you post, gentlemen

I’ll just say this, given the update and her continued badgering about it after he has clearly asked for a cease-fire I’m concerned that there are bigger problems in the marriage that need to be addressed for it to have hope.

Treating one’s spouse in such fashion seems to me that they don’t have the same investment and commitment to a partnership as I would expect.

The political discourse may just be what lets the lid off of deeper issues. May be time for some counseling.

Me and the 3rd Mrs. sigmonkey have 37 years. (and children, grandchildren and oh, so many , critters gone...)

We are still on very good speaking terms.

We are a bird and a fish. We may have a love and fondness for each other as we are able, we simply cannot abide in the same space. One in "water", the other in "air".

So, we have learned to support each other in life in things we can and do have in common, and simply do not abide in those places that are desirable.

And we no longer try to press one or the other into those places we abhor.


And to go a step further, we chose to "dissolute" the civil side, and yet maintain the "Jewish" side.

Meaning, in the eye's the the Almighty, we stand together, but so neither of us go to prison for murder or any other civil violation, we just don't cross the line that shall not be crossed.

My hope, prayer and well wishes, are that the OP and Wife, can find a common ground that permits them to share the bounty of good they worked so hard to sow, and forgo the tares and blight that have railed against them.

And, I mean this in all sincerity.

Very sorry for anyone that is dealing with TDS. I am very fortunate that my wife (HS sweetheart) share almost all common ground politically. We also managed to raise two children that share our beliefs (26 & 23) as well. My youngest has the attitude that one does not discuss politics or Religion. When people discuss those things in front of her she keeps her mouth shut and carries on.

My mother is a die hard conservative Christian who insists on inserting religions and politics into everything. It’s also done in a very passive aggressive way where it has managed to cause irreparable damage to relationships with some of my siblings (her kids). Stating this because that pendulum of intolerance for others beliefs can swing both ways.

When my son was born, I would arrive home from work to find my MIL at the house everyday. First grandchild and she smothered him with affection, only she overstayed and made it impossible for me to have any time with my son. I politely asked my wife to ask her if she could leave in order to give me some personal family time. She was mortified and didn’t know how to have that discussion, so I told her if I drove home and saw her car I would drive right by and not come home. I drove by several times and went down to the bar at my club and hung out until about 10pm. After about 4 nights of this, the bar phone rings and my wife asks what I’m doing there. I replied with, saw your mom’s car in the driveway so I kept going and ended up here like I said I would do. My wife got the message and dealt with the problem and we never had that issue again. The reason I tell this story is because I think the best advice given is to remove yourself from the environment every time she starts up with her TDS tirade. Do it respectfully and politely and I think eventually she will get the message. I sincerely hope you find an way forward.

I agree^^^
My mom has the syndrome, and I visit them at least a few times/week.
I will simply start to pack my things up the minute she brings up politics. Then she’ll start to lament a little bit about why I might be going and I just say I am not interested in discussing this. She tries pretty hard to stop herself these days, because I believe she genuinely enjoys our company, but I truly don’t think she even realizes. The TV is on all the time, and the message is pervasive.
If it’s possible, switch channels. Or just stream.

quote:

Originally posted by Timdogg6:
Each day I come home and run in and ask my wife what did trump do today and she dumps a day of X on me of just win after win.

We're the same, but it is she who grills me for anything new for the day; back during Obama/Biden "what kind of bullshit happened today" to now "any news on the confirmations, is the swamp draining more?" We went shooting yesterday at a buddy's property 150 miles away and we talked politics half of the time during the drive, both of us so excited by current events. I really lucked out.

Mrs. Lee and have been married for 17 yrs. She's a PRC citizen and not at all loyal to the US, does not want to become a US citizen. However, she likes living here because life is so much easier here than in China.

I have to confess, I really love sitting at the breakfast table while she's reading the news aloud to me from my iPad. Chinese are not taught critical thinking in school, so she doesn't even think to question the source if she reads some crazy accusation on social media or a left wing news site or China Daily or whatever.

When she sees some state initiative about banning Chinese citizens from buying property near a military base, I have two replies. "Would an American be allowed to buy property in China near a military base?" And, "If you become a US citizen, you don't have to worry about this, even though you've never expressed any desire to live near a military base."

Sometimes she gets kinds irritated by the back and forth, but I usually get a chuckle out of trying to get her to explain her position and/or why she believes what she just read.