I think its time to just stay single, plan my retirement, and learn to be happy with just the dog.

I'm not to upset about it other than losing time with my daughter, which sucks on a whole nother level.

Gotta stop being a dumbass and ignoring the red flags.

Good luck to you. Does that fall into the category of “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”?

I’m sorry to hear that this has to happen… it’s rough on everybody.

That being said, at my workplace the cultural rule is after number 3 you have to switch teams for 6 months.

Good luck with that.

quote:

at my workplace the cultural rule is after number 3 you have to switch teams for 6 months.

Holy SHit! Coffee on the screen


Good luck, do your best to avoid any trash talk, especially to your daughter

Sorry you have to go through this again. On the positive side, I haven't been wrong about anything since the last time I was married.

http://forum.mensdivorce.com/

The advice linked above, may or may not be helpful.

OBTW, I ‘filed’ a month ago, just to much going on I couldn’t accept. Mind you this is a long term marriage, just over 30 years, kids out.

As you would expect, I’d be eviscerated financially. I don’t have a problem splitting assets, it’s the ongoing ‘maintenance’ I don’t care for. It’s also set up to be after-tax $$ from the earner, best I can tell.

Going over 20 years, or young kids, starts to add up.

Just last eve the STBX suggested we just stay married but have separate lives, already 75% there. I always knew I’d look for options & alternatives. In WI it’s at least a 120 day countdown to completion, usually longer.

I have no intention of getting married again soon. I may just go with the separate lives thing for a while.

That sucks...especially this time of year.

quote:

Originally posted by tsmccull:
Good luck to you. Does that fall into the category of “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”?

Don't you start trying to make sense over there!

On a positive note, I've come to realize some very important and necessary aspects about myself, and others, during this marriage that I do believe will help me.

I'll likely get wrecked by child support but that's okay. It's for my daughter. And even if it doesn't all go to her I'm to the point where I would pay to be single.

Keep the faith, don’t give up.

Dang, you must be a glutton for punishment.

One divorce was enough for me to say "I'm never getting married again!" and mine was pretty tame compared to most.

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:
On a positive note, I've come to realize some very important and necessary aspects about myself, and others, during this marriage that I do believe will help me.

That's why we make mistakes: To learn from them.

I'm glad to hear that, despite the pain, this was an avenue for some solid personal growth.

I feel exactly the same way about my marriage and subsequent divorce. It has helped me become the person I am today, and helped me discover more about myself, and therefore served a purpose and wasn't a total waste.

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:

quote:

Originally posted by tsmccull:
Good luck to you. Does that fall into the category of “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”?

Don't you start trying to make sense over there!

On a positive note, I've come to realize some very important and necessary aspects about myself, and others, during this marriage that I do believe will help me.

I'll likely get wrecked by child support but that's okay. It's for my daughter. And even if it doesn't all go to her I'm to the point where I would pay to be single.

I hope you can avoid alimony as well, it has put a serious dent in some friends of mine financial life.

quote:

...I'm to the point where I would pay to be single.

Unfortunately, too many get to that point, good luck, sir.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:
Dang, you must be a glutton for punishment.

One divorce was enough for me to say "I'm never getting married again!" and mine was pretty tame compared to most.

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:
On a positive note, I've come to realize some very important and necessary aspects about myself, and others, during this marriage that I do believe will help me.

That's why we make mistakes: To learn from them.

I'm glad to hear that, despite the pain, this was an avenue for some solid personal growth.

I feel exactly the same way about my marriage and subsequent divorce. It has helped me become the person I am today, and helped me discover more about myself, and therefore served a purpose and wasn't a total waste.

My first marriage was my high school sweetheart, 13 years later I was still pretty ignorant a lot of things and didn't fix what needed fixing.

Second marriage was 6 months and quite literally a silly mistake.

This one is 5 years now and I've learned more than the previous 17 years of dating and adult life. I too am glad for it.

We both had income so probably no alimony, child support is what it is. Money don't last forever, being miserable can. I'd rather be broke, happy, and educated.

I swore I wouldn't marry again after the divorce to my first wife, but extenuating circumstances kind of forced me into the second marriage.

Been together around 41 years at this point, married for 38 years and so far, so good.

But I definitely wouldn't marry a 3rd time.

Once was enough for me.
Married for 17 years and I've been divorced for almost 12 years.
Good luck.

Twice the charm here. I’ll rent in lieu of mortgage moving forward

Sorry to hear J. Military can be hard on marriages. Wish the three of you the best moving forward.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:
On a positive note, I've come to realize some very important and necessary aspects about myself, and others, during this marriage that I do believe will help me.

That's why we make mistakes: To learn from them.

OR forget them, make them again. Learn them, forget them, make them again. Sometimes its a cycle. Hopefully its just a tricycle here.

Once was enough for me, but wife #2 has my heart. Good luck, and sorry that you have to sacrifice time with your daughter!

I know someone who has been married 5 times and divorced 4 times. Current marriage is lasting.

flashguy

I've always heard if you want to make E9, you have to have at least 1 divorce and a DUI.