quote:

Originally posted by Flash-LB:

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Originally posted by SIGnified:

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Originally posted by Flash-LB:

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Originally posted by MoosehornMan:
Women marry men hoping they will change, Men marry women hoping they won't.
After my first divorce I said I would never marry again, after 20 years of shacking up I got married again, and nothing changed.

And that probably sums up the reasons for the majority of the divorces out there.

… because if you’re growing, change in people is inevitable.

The kind of change you're talking about is not the kind of change I'm talking about. I'm talking about women who become full on whores, dopers, alcoholics, shrews, bitches and so forth.

Well what can I say but, you picked them.

Divorce number 3 ? Slow learner ?

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Originally posted by SIGnified:

Well what can I say but, you picked them.

Your wisdom knows no bounds. FFS.

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I'm talking about women who become full on whores, dopers, alcoholics, shrews, bitches and so forth.

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Originally posted by OttoSig:

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Originally posted by SIGnified:

Well what can I say but, you picked them.

Your wisdom knows no bounds. FFS.

Apparently, a lesson you’ve yet to learn.



What kind of man publicly rants and blames his chosen life-love/woman (via sacrament and holy commitment) for his own complicity in a fouled-up relationship?

Hmmmn?

quote:

Originally posted by sourdough44:

. . . it’s the ongoing ‘maintenance’ I don’t care for. It’s also set up to be after-tax $$ from the earner, best I can tell.

Yes, there was a Trump era tax change that made spousal maintenance/alimony non deductible.

Good luck to the OP.

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Originally posted by SIGnified:

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I'm talking about women who become full on whores, dopers, alcoholics, shrews, bitches and so forth.

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Originally posted by OttoSig:

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Originally posted by SIGnified:

Well what can I say but, you picked them.

Your wisdom knows no bounds. FFS.

Apparently, a lesson you’ve yet to learn.



What kind of man publicly rants and blames his chosen life-love/woman (via sacrament and holy commitment) for his own complicity in a fouled-up relationship?

Hmmmn?

When did I blame my wife? And don't start with no holy shit with me. I don't prescribe to that butt fucking little kids, pick the flavor I like, fanatical nonsense.

As a witness to many relationships, as a dependent and participant, I can 100% say that there is never a case where 50/50 or damn close to it isn't the case when relationships fail.

I've also stated I've learned a lot.

But again, your holier than thou wisdom is spot on.

Ok then. All sorted. Good luck!

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:
As a witness to many relationships, as a dependent and participant, I can 100% say that there is never a case where 50/50 or damn close to it isn't the case when relationships fail.

Having worked in the Family Law courts, having several friends who are lawyers and mediators in the field, and having attended training related to the field, I will state that the odds weigh heavily to you being mistaken.

People are drawn to other folks because of shared issues which they hope will address their own issues. You recreate your issues hoping to address them with the new person...but it isn't their job, because they have their own issues which drew them to you.

So one of you is feeding the other and the other is reacting.

Fundamentally, the choice is to address your own issues and pick different people

Everyone get one.
Your first divorce I assume you went through the bs court system and realized how vulnerable your whole future is to the whims of a scorned woman.
Then you did it again.....and then a third time?
Serious question: The fuck is wrong with you?
And I'm also questioning why you'd want to advertise this for all to know.
You need to read some books by Andrew Tate, Greg Adams, or Rich Cooper on how to be an alpha male who has a little more self respect.
I'm not saying any of this for the sole purpose of shaming you. You and every other man in your position needs to be told this by other men because it's the truth without any filter.

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Originally posted by OttoSig:

As a witness to many relationships, as a dependent and participant, I can 100% say that there is never a case where 50/50 or damn close to it isn't the case when relationships fail.

As a witness to many relationships and as a participant, I can 100% say that there are many cases where 90% or more of the blame rests with one person.

One could easily be the other person.

Two could be either or both.

Three is you.

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Originally posted by 9mmepiphany:
Fundamentally, the choice is to address your own issues and pick different people

This is good advice, particularly the first half. I wouldn't suggest picking anyone else for a good long time.

I see more failed relationships than most people, and hear a lot of details about what happened.

Relationships fail for so many reasons that is is difficult to impossible to generalize about what happens and who is at fault. It is a sort of a bell curve - that it is all or mostly one person's fault is not so common, and that there is some degree of shared fault is the dominant pattern.

We have a saying that 10s don't marry 2s. This isn't about looks. It isn't universally true, but is a useful general observation.

This also has nothing to do with the OP. I don't know him or his spouse, so I have no idea what happened.

I think Otto is going to be just fine. Fly solo for a few years sir. You may just begin to like it. The future is yours. Good luck sir.

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Originally posted by jhe888:
It is a sort of a bell curve - that it is all or mostly one person's fault is not so common, and that there is some degree of shared fault is the dominant pattern.

I'll chime in to say that I wouldn't expect 50/50 to be the most common either.

60/40 or 70/30 is probably where I'd expect it to peak on either side, with one person who's a bit more at fault while neither side is blameless.

Bimodal distribution. (Or a "double bell curve", if you will.)

Women initiate divorce almost 70% of the time (90% when figuring for college educated women)
https://financesonline.com/divorce-statistics/

They are hypergamous by nature and are "corporate ladder climbing" so to speak.

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Relationships fail for so many reasons that is is difficult to impossible to generalize about what happens and who is at fault. It is a sort of a bell curve - that it is all or mostly one person's fault is not so common, and that there is some degree of shared fault is the dominant pattern.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I would concur.

Otto I don’t have any words of wisdom to contribute to this discussion except to say I wish you the best moving forward…

Here's the cheat code.

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Originally posted by Ryanp225:
Here's the cheat code.

As a “mature” male and all you can ever handle is a young 21-26 yr old girl, you’ve got issues I don’t want.

At that point they’re only sex toy objects and not people.

Being rich ain’t got nothing to do with being good neither no how.

It's a joke, dude.