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I just found out my father is dead. Alcoholism is a family disease. Login/Join 
Just having a good time
Picture of ragman
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Sorry for your loss.
When I say,I know how you feel it is because I lived your childhood and my father died the same way. Remember the good times and lay the bad times to rest with your father.

" I didn't fail the test,I just found 100 ways to do it wrong." - Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 1401 | Location: N. C. | Registered: November 22, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Keystoner
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There is no shame in being an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a disease you were born with. No one can control that. The good news is it's treatable, and that you can control.

And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.
—John 8:32
Posts: 2227 | Registered: November 05, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Objectively Reasonable
Picture of DennisM
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I remember your Dad situation and was actually thinking about you recently. I'm very sorry for your loss, and for the run-up.

Digital or not, you're among friends here.
Posts: 2062 | Registered: January 01, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Best of luck in your journey and may your father RIP.
Posts: 821 | Location: Alabama | Registered: January 05, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Looking at your picture, I’d guess we’re close to the same age. I’m 40. I’ve read and reread your post a couple times. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Posts: 284 | Registered: December 06, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of V-Tail
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Thank you for your post.

Best wishes for your good health.

Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you put your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket.

הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
Posts: 26017 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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You are in my prayers today. Sorry about your Dad, you sound like your son has benefitted from your experiences so good for you for fixing that. Take care of yourself and your family.
Posts: 4368 | Registered: June 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Husband, Father, Aggie,
all around good guy!
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Smudge, I applaud your efforts to prevent your experiences from befalling your son. I hope that your efforts to retard/reverse the effects of drinking are successful. Thank you for sharing your story. Strength and peace to you and your family.

Posts: 3035 | Location: Tomball, Texas | Registered: August 09, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
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Smudge, I am sorrier than I can say to hear this and know the end of this part of your story.

Congratulations to you for seeing the path you were on, and moving to another.

The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
Posts: 50585 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Ed, I recall being part of the discussion thread when your father was arrested in PA. I had hoped for your sake and peace of mind that things might have worked out with less pain than what you had already endured. I can't offer more than my condolences and prayers, and I do.

Knowing that both of your last words to each other were "I love you" will truly help you get to a point past any thoughts of grief and hurt. I lost my father in 1997, and those were the last words we spoke as well. I've never had any doubt or regret as I heard him say those words to me.

I hope that you have the rest of your days without the torment of the history of your relationship and remember that last conversation the most. Peace.
Posts: 157 | Location: Western PA | Registered: March 30, 2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My dog crosses the line
Picture of Jeff Yarchin
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I’m very sorry for your loss. My parents were alcoholics so I can relate. I got very lucky. Growing up in that environment I just avoided alcohol altogether.

I attended Al-anon when I was a kid and I found it very helpful,

Best wishes.
Posts: 12709 | Registered: June 20, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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My deepest condolences. May you and your family find peace in the memory of the good times.
Posts: 5881 | Registered: February 23, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Back, and
to the left
Picture of 83v45magna
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You're a good man, Smudge. Your sincerity and need is moving. May God bless you. My condolences to you and your family, but this was an end that had to come in order for you and yours to truly move on and get beyond the pain to just remember, and keep, the good.

You will find comfort and peace.

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. -Ecclesiastes 9:11
Posts: 6055 | Location: Dallas | Registered: August 04, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Low Profile Member
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sorry for your loss and thank you for the post.
Posts: 3358 | Registered: August 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
If it chambers, fire it
Picture of dave7378
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Very sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting this and keep fighting.

Posts: 5536 | Location: Hampton Bays, NY | Registered: October 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
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You're a good man, Smudge. Being a "friend of Bill" just proves you are the type to seek self improvement and that's an admirable trait.
Posts: 9466 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of mcrimm
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Smudge - Such a story of sadness and pain that is repeated way too often. My parents, especially my father, were both alcoholics but not mean drunks. Once I was 18, I put distance between us, both geographically and otherwise. I didn't cry when they died and still feel sorry for 2 lives that missed their full potential. I haven't had a drink in 20 years and relish the fact that the disease passed me by. Sobriety is a gift.

I pray that your family can find peace and that you can recover from COVID.

I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown
When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham
Liberalism is a failure to find pathways to intelligence in your brain. - David Lawrence
Posts: 3489 | Location: Montana | Registered: December 24, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Woke up today..
Great day!
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Yes, very sad to hear your loss. I can sympathize as my father went through similar. Never got to see his only grandchildren and lived his last days in and out of homeless shelters. There was no discussing it with him as he swore he wasn't an alcoholic yet during every wellness check they found his room full of empty wine bottles.

It is a disease that destroys the mind. To this day I am a light drinker because my father died of alcoholism and his father got drunk and passed out in a snow bank and froze to death. Guessing I don't have good genes for hard core drinking.

Hang in there and be sure to be thankful of what you have this weekend!
Posts: 1562 | Location: Chicagoland | Registered: December 10, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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A very poignant message. My condolences and may your father rest in peace.

Alcoholism is an insidious disease. Best wishes to you for a favorable outcome.
Posts: 333 | Location: SE Michigan | Registered: June 15, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Do---or do not.
There is no try.
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I have to say this is one of the most profound and instructive posts I’ve seen on this Forum.

I send my condolences for your loss, my admiration for your efforts to stay sober and not follow your father’s path, and prayers for you and your family.
Posts: 4120 | Registered: January 01, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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