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I just found out my father is dead. Alcoholism is a family disease. Login/Join 
Just because you can,
doesn't mean you should
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My condolences on the whole situation you have gone through, and your family has had to deal with too.

As you know as well or better than any of us, you can't help someone that doesn't want your help.
There may have been people that participated in his bad behavior, fellow drunks, and some that maybe didn't appear to do enough to stop it or were enablers.
While you feel angry now, there is a difference between those two categories of behavior. Some in the second group may have just recognized that it was hopeless until changes occurred with him that never did. Later after some time and reflection, they may not be the negligent or uncaring people you think they are right now.

In any case I hope this helps you move on and it sounds like you already are determined not to follow in his footsteps.


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Posts: 7343 | Location: NE GA | Registered: August 22, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Membership has its privileges
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I am so very sorry for your loss.

Your tribute to your Father is very moving.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers this evening.


Niech Zyje P-220

Steve
 
Posts: 36214 | Location: 45174 | Registered: December 09, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Irksome Whirling Dervish
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I'm adopted and found out after the fact that my bio father died of cirrhosis and alcohol problems. I never knew the man but he confessed that he had a son and that's how I was found and learned of him.

He drank and drank. Offered rehab, AA, medical assistance and everything else by many people. All rejected. He crashed cars, trucks and ruined relationships with everyone but who he drank with.

And he kept on drinking until the doctors could do nothing for him.

From what I was told, he was a really smart person who turned his vocation into being an abusive asshole to the point that family rejected him. There are no relationship or health cures found in a bottle.

Sorry for your loss.
 
Posts: 3500 | Location: "You can't just go to Walmart with a gift card and get a new brother." Janice Serrano | Registered: May 03, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
always with a hat or sunscreen
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Smudge,
My heartfelt condolences and prayers for your continued health.
My estranged father was also an alcoholic. In his later years he bought vodka by the case. When hospitalized with an apparent heart attack, the doctors couldn't operate due to his excessive blood-alcohol levels. He was basically fully functional but they feared what the DTs would do to him. So he checked himself out, went home and died in his sleep a week later. This was in the Spring of 2009.



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Posts: 13445 | Location: Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: June 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Step by step walk the thousand mile road
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You have an email from me.





Nice is overrated

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Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018

 
Posts: 29553 | Location: Loudoun County, Virginia | Registered: May 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Political Cynic
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my condolences
 
Posts: 51467 | Location: Tucson Arizona | Registered: January 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Our thoughts and blessing are with you and yours sir ...

This message has been edited. Last edited by: old dino,


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Posts: 2168 | Location: Western Washington | Registered: November 16, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Where there's smoke,
there's fire!!
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So sorry you had to go through so much and now this, my condolences to you. Keep your head on straight and remember how far you’ve come.
 
Posts: 1650 | Location: Kentucky | Registered: February 16, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Oh stewardess,
I speak jive.
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I am so sorry for your loss.
 
Posts: 25364 | Registered: March 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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I was an asshole drunk in my 20's and 30's, then AA saved me. Quit for 25 years, until I had my hips replaced. Think the pain drugs started it, but I started drinking again and ready to quit again. There is no shame in admitting your human, good luck Sir!!!


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"Once abolish the God, and the Government becomes the God." --- G.K. Chesterton
 
Posts: 3540 | Location: WNY | Registered: April 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Frangas non Flectes
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quote:
Originally posted by Sig2340:
You have an email from me.


Thank you! Replied.

RyanP225, shoot me an email, please. I don't see any address in your profile.

Seriously, any other friends of Bill, shoot me an email, please.


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I believe in the 25th amendment.
 
Posts: 13849 | Location: Seattle-ish | Registered: February 10, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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My sincerest condolences on your loss, but thank you for having the courage to share with us.




If you like religion, laws or sausage, then you shouldn't watch them being made.
 
Posts: 3280 | Location: SW Ohio | Registered: April 21, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Sigforum K9 handler
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Alcoholism too runs in my family. My father is an alcoholic. As was his father before him. My grand father died from alcohol related issues at 60. Liver disease will likely take my father before too long. He has isolated himself from all of his biological family. He lives with a woman I have nothing good to say about.

I have had two drinks since 1994. One on May 2, 2011, and another a couple of years ago. I do not drink because I won’t take the risk of the same thing happening to me. I have to believe we all possess the sheer will to break the cycle. It’s one day at a time.

I feel for you and understand completely what you deal with.

My best to you and I hope you find peace.




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"It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it works out for them"



 
Posts: 35513 | Location: Logical | Registered: September 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Each post crafted from
rich Corinthian leather
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My condolences to you and yours. Your post is one of the most moving I’ve seen here.

My father, now in his 80s, has a number of issues in life, many of which were made far more complicated by his decades of alcoholism. While I drink, I do so only very lightly, as I’ve seen what an addiction like that can do from the uncomfortable front seat of growing-up with an alcoholic parent.
 
Posts: 6135 | Registered: September 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Rumors of my death
are greatly exaggerated
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Prayers and condolences for all. Thanks for posting.



"Someday I hope to be half the man my bird-dog thinks I am."

FBLM
 
Posts: 10422 | Location: Commirado | Registered: July 23, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
posting without pants
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This was a very hard post to read. I see this type of stuff every day and see how it cycles.

First off, I've sorry for your loss. I know that you had a tumultuous relationship with your father, but he is still your father, and you only get one.

I'm glad you guys reconciled as best you could at the end, and the last words you spoke were loving.

I'm glad you shared this and talked about your struggles and about your feelings and thoughts.

I wish you and your family all the best, and will keep you all in my thoughts this season.

Kevin





Strive to live your life so when you wake up in the morning and your feet hit the floor, the devil says "Oh crap, he's up."
 
Posts: 32883 | Location: St. Louis MO | Registered: February 15, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Prepared for the Worst, Providing the Best
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Thanks for posting this, man. It took some balls, and you have my respect. I'm very sorry for your loss and I will pray that you and your family get peace and closure, and that you remain strong with the resolve to continue the path you have chosen. It takes work to do what you're doing, but it's absolutely worth it, and impressive as hell.

Keep doing what you need to to be there for your wife and kid. Your son may have been deprived of a grandfather, but it sounds like he's got one hell of a dad. My dad was the first of his family in generations to not be an alcoholic, and as a result the childhood that my brothers and I experienced was drastically different than what it could have been. I'm grateful for that every day.
 
Posts: 5046 | Location: In the Cornfields | Registered: May 25, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Throwin sparks
makin knives
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On this Thanksgiving 2021 morning, I read this through the vail of tears from the near mirror of my live. I kicked a door in to find my Father dead at 55 from severe alcoholism. It is from the grace of our Lord that I am not dead myself… it has been years since my last drink, I have purposely not passed this gene forward…..such horrible memories..
 
Posts: 6045 | Location: Nashville Tn | Registered: October 12, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Now Serving 7.62
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Hate to hear that. Condolences.
 
Posts: 5660 | Location: TN | Registered: February 12, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Condolences. Your post has made me think about my drinking habits and the need to cut back.
 
Posts: 4368 | Registered: April 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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