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I just found out my father is dead. Alcoholism is a family disease. *Updates pg 3 & 5, Final update pg 6.*

This topic can be found at:
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November 24, 2021, 07:10 AM
ragman
I just found out my father is dead. Alcoholism is a family disease. *Updates pg 3 & 5, Final update pg 6.*
Sorry for your loss.
When I say,I know how you feel it is because I lived your childhood and my father died the same way. Remember the good times and lay the bad times to rest with your father.



" I didn't fail the test,I just found 100 ways to do it wrong." - Benjamin Franklin
November 24, 2021, 07:28 AM
Keystoner
There is no shame in being an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a disease you were born with. No one can control that. The good news is it's treatable, and that you can control.



Year V
November 24, 2021, 07:31 AM
DennisM
I remember your Dad situation and was actually thinking about you recently. I'm very sorry for your loss, and for the run-up.

Digital or not, you're among friends here.
November 24, 2021, 07:32 AM
Bluecobra
Best of luck in your journey and may your father RIP.
November 24, 2021, 07:53 AM
crue-dell
Looking at your picture, I’d guess we’re close to the same age. I’m 40. I’ve read and reread your post a couple times. You and your family are in my thoughts.
November 24, 2021, 08:05 AM
V-Tail
Thank you for your post.

Best wishes for your good health.



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
November 24, 2021, 08:06 AM
pedropcola
You are in my prayers today. Sorry about your Dad, you sound like your son has benefitted from your experiences so good for you for fixing that. Take care of yourself and your family.
November 24, 2021, 08:41 AM
HK Ag
Smudge, I applaud your efforts to prevent your experiences from befalling your son. I hope that your efforts to retard/reverse the effects of drinking are successful. Thank you for sharing your story. Strength and peace to you and your family.

HK Ag
November 24, 2021, 08:50 AM
jhe888
Smudge, I am sorrier than I can say to hear this and know the end of this part of your story.

Congratulations to you for seeing the path you were on, and moving to another.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
November 24, 2021, 08:51 AM
PghPI
Ed, I recall being part of the discussion thread when your father was arrested in PA. I had hoped for your sake and peace of mind that things might have worked out with less pain than what you had already endured. I can't offer more than my condolences and prayers, and I do.

Knowing that both of your last words to each other were "I love you" will truly help you get to a point past any thoughts of grief and hurt. I lost my father in 1997, and those were the last words we spoke as well. I've never had any doubt or regret as I heard him say those words to me.

I hope that you have the rest of your days without the torment of the history of your relationship and remember that last conversation the most. Peace.
November 24, 2021, 08:54 AM
Jeff Yarchin
I’m very sorry for your loss. My parents were alcoholics so I can relate. I got very lucky. Growing up in that environment I just avoided alcohol altogether.

I attended Al-anon when I was a kid and I found it very helpful,

Best wishes.
November 24, 2021, 09:11 AM
slosig
My deepest condolences. May you and your family find peace in the memory of the good times.
November 24, 2021, 09:24 AM
83v45magna
You're a good man, Smudge. Your sincerity and need is moving. May God bless you. My condolences to you and your family, but this was an end that had to come in order for you and yours to truly move on and get beyond the pain to just remember, and keep, the good.

You will find comfort and peace.



I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. -Ecclesiastes 9:11
November 24, 2021, 09:30 AM
nasig
sorry for your loss and thank you for the post.
November 24, 2021, 09:32 AM
dave7378
Very sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting this and keep fighting.


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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
November 24, 2021, 09:34 AM
Ryanp225
You're a good man, Smudge. Being a "friend of Bill" just proves you are the type to seek self improvement and that's an admirable trait.
November 24, 2021, 09:35 AM
mcrimm
Smudge - Such a story of sadness and pain that is repeated way too often. My parents, especially my father, were both alcoholics but not mean drunks. Once I was 18, I put distance between us, both geographically and otherwise. I didn't cry when they died and still feel sorry for 2 lives that missed their full potential. I haven't had a drink in 20 years and relish the fact that the disease passed me by. Sobriety is a gift.

I pray that your family can find peace and that you can recover from COVID.
Mike



I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown
...................................
When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham
November 24, 2021, 09:49 AM
cruiser68
Yes, very sad to hear your loss. I can sympathize as my father went through similar. Never got to see his only grandchildren and lived his last days in and out of homeless shelters. There was no discussing it with him as he swore he wasn't an alcoholic yet during every wellness check they found his room full of empty wine bottles.

It is a disease that destroys the mind. To this day I am a light drinker because my father died of alcoholism and his father got drunk and passed out in a snow bank and froze to death. Guessing I don't have good genes for hard core drinking.

Hang in there and be sure to be thankful of what you have this weekend!
November 24, 2021, 09:52 AM
64dodge
A very poignant message. My condolences and may your father rest in peace.

Alcoholism is an insidious disease. Best wishes to you for a favorable outcome.
November 24, 2021, 10:07 AM
snoris
I have to say this is one of the most profound and instructive posts I’ve seen on this Forum.

I send my condolences for your loss, my admiration for your efforts to stay sober and not follow your father’s path, and prayers for you and your family.