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Just because something is legal to do doesn't mean it is the smart thing to do. |
40 something daughter is engaged to an illegal alien. He is not a thug, very hard working but I have no clue if he pays any taxes. Treats my daughter very good. Daughter expects me to walk her down the aisle and give her away. That goes completely against my principle regarding illegal aliens. But if I don't do it I will lose my daughter. Thoughts, or ideas? Integrity is doing the right thing, even when nobody is looking. | ||
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Member |
What's more important to you, your daughter/grandchildren or your politics? Should be an easy call. | |||
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Member |
do you like him other than him being illegal? if so and you don't think it would cause a problem how about offering to take care of his citizenship as a wedding gift? | |||
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Member |
Rock and a hard place. Been there with my children. I believe she knows what you think about the relationship. If not she is out of touch. Go with your heart. Principles do not have to change. Shades of Guess Who is Coming to Dinner. Surprised that someone has not used that for a movie script, My daughter is marrying an illegal alien. I am not making light of your predicament. It is a very hard choice, take your time. I am glad you felt comfortable sharing that with this Forum. Others will be along with their advice. | |||
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Unapologetic Old School Curmudgeon |
Does your dad radar tell you he is a good man? It seems it does. I share your principles about illegal aliens, but that doesn't mean I think they are bad people, I just oppose the breaking of the law. If he is a good man and you believe that, then walk her down the aisle and help him become a good, legal, American and a conservative. If you don't do this you will drive a wedge with your daughter it will take forever to repair. Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day | |||
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Member |
Can't say it any better. ========================================== Just my 2¢ ____________________________ Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right ♫♫♫ | |||
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Member |
Lots of good posts..... | |||
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Member |
Family over politics always. | |||
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quarter MOA visionary |
I wouldn't support it. It is a problem that has to be dealt with. | |||
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You can't go home again |
Just make sure he’s not just in it for the papers. It's sad to say, and I wish nothing but the best for your family but marriage fraud is all too common. If you feel he’s a decent man and truly loves your daughter then you walk her and he will probably be on his path to citizenship soon after anyway. --------------------------------------- Life Member NRA “If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve." - Lao Tzu | |||
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Ammoholic |
That's a tough one. I hate illegals as a group, individually I think more than half are good people, just here to better their lives. If he's a good person who you'd want to marry your daughter anyways, then walk her down the isle and get them and immigration lawyer for a wedding gift. Jesse Sic Semper Tyrannis | |||
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I believe in the principle of Due Process |
OTOH, marrying a US citizen is a road to eventual citizenship and one of the easier ones for those it fits. Just be sure this isn’t the prime motive, of course. Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me. When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown | |||
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Oriental Redneck |
+1 +1 Q | |||
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Member |
Even if he’s only in it for the card in the long run and splits, your daughter will still be there. You’ll still get to say “I told you so,” but you won’t be the source of her resentment. Occasionally you still have to back your kids play, even if you think it’s stupid or don’t support it. | |||
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Stupid Allergy |
I’ll admit, I got nothing on this one. I have a young daughter and would have major issues with it... but then there’s lots of people I’d have Major issues with. "Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway." Steve McQueen... | |||
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Green grass and high tides |
Is she 40--1/2 or 49-1/2? So maybe not her first marriage? I must admit I find these types of situations a bit ridiculous at times. It is not like she is twenty something and getting married for the first time. Lets not kid ourselves. If she wants to get married, fine. To what ever guy she wants to marry, fine. But to pretend it is going to be something it isn't. Isn't fine for those she expects to participate in it. She can try to make it something other than what it is. But its not. She should just go someplace private with the groom to be and get married and be done with it. jmtcw. I am guessing there is a lot of stuff between the lines here. Best of luck. "Practice like you want to play in the game" | |||
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Nullus Anxietas |
Though it may violate you principles, I think you have to back your daughter on this one. "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher | |||
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Member |
I nearly fell victim to this scam myself while in college a long time ago. She was from the Middle East, but worked at an American military base before coming here for college, and got a taste for America and Americans. Luckily, I saw a bunch of problems in our future, and broke up before we got married and her student visa expired. A couple years back I saw a picture of her niece on the Internet (spitting image of her, but with a nose job!), and traced back from that pic to find that she married another American. Another consideration -- you don't think of illegal immigrant status as serious, but suppose your daughter's boyfriend was a car thief, or got caught scamming his employer out of significant amounts of money. Still, non-violent crimes, but would you think differently of him? Personally, I would not. In addition, I've come to think of illegal alien status as a "gateway" crime: if they're willing to do that crime, what else will the escalate to, if they feel like it? I'd oppose the marriage, and try to get your daughter to reconsider. Sorry if my own experience makes me hard-hearted, but she may end up on the same path that I nearly did. -------------------------- Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. -- H L Mencken I always prefer reality when I can figure out what it is. -- JALLEN 10/18/18 | |||
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Corgis Rock |
How long has he been here and what are his plans get a green card? Just marrying a citizen doesn't result in a green card. Seems a fair number marry, have kids but don't do anything about changing their status. http://americasvoice.org/blog/...ocumented-immigrant/ “ The work of destruction is quick, easy and exhilarating; the work of creation is slow, laborious and dull. | |||
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delicately calloused |
I would try to determine his sincerity. If he is, then I would embrace him as a son in law and work with him to get his citizenship. But, if he is content with being engaged without a ring and a date and/or living with my daughter, they would both know my displeasure. You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier | |||
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