SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Topics You've Learned Through Age and with Wisdom to NEVER EVER ask the Opposite Sex.
Main Page The Lounge Topics You've Learned Through Age and with Wisdom to NEVER EVER ask the Opposite Sex.Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply | |
| On the wrong side of the Mobius strip  |
Never take a picture of your GF when she is angry at you and screaming. And if you do, never, ever show it to her in the future. | |||
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Texas Proud |
I had a buddy say these exact words to a IHOP waitress one night after hitting the bar. She stomped off and then the screaming began from around the kitchen area letting everyone know what he had said. Unfortunately, this was prior to receiving our meal. Needless to say I didn't eat much and what I did eat was inspected thoroughly. NRA Life Patron | |||
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| Member |
Did the doctor say why you’ve put on so much weight? | |||
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Member |
. Just stop talking long enough so I can explain... Just get over it... Just stop worrying about it and calm down... Why does it bother you so much, it doesn't bother me... Don't take this personally... Actually, it still looks the same to me... Maybe you should start going to the gym with me... You should be more like my Mom... You remind me of my Mom... You're becoming like your Mom... What did you do all day... You never told me that... Why don't we have sex like we used to... You talk too much...  just kidding Dear  . | |||
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Legalize the Constitution |
Wife complaining repeatedly about some kind of pain. “Did you take anything for it?” Oh wait! It’s me who gets mad when she says, “No.” _______________________________________________________ despite them | |||
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| Eschew Obfuscation |
Same here. Made that mistake once. Now, like Dave Barry, I don’t say anything till they’re home from the hospital. _____________________________________________________________________ “One of the common failings among honorable people is a failure to appreciate how thoroughly dishonorable some other people can be, and how dangerous it is to trust them.” – Thomas Sowell | |||
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| Eschew Obfuscation |
The wife’s sister asked me that. I said “we’re not married so I’m not answering that question.” She got pissed off anyway.  _____________________________________________________________________ “One of the common failings among honorable people is a failure to appreciate how thoroughly dishonorable some other people can be, and how dangerous it is to trust them.” – Thomas Sowell | |||
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Political Cynic |
‘Do these yoga pants make my butt look big’ There is no right answer to this | |||
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| 186,000 miles per second. It's the law. |
Are you ready yet? | |||
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| come and take it |
My Dad told me he witnessed the same thing from a guy in an elevator no less! He learned the lesson and passed it on to me. One mistake I have not made in my life. I have a few SIGs. | |||
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Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie |
 ~Alan Acta Non Verba NRA Life Member (Patron) God, Family, Guns, Country Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan | |||
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Member |
An you get to the point, please. | |||
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| Eschew Obfuscation |
One of the wife’s sisters is quite the scold. If the wife starts in on me and I get tired of it, I’ll start calling her by her sister’s name. Even the wife knows what a bitch her sister can be. I only have to use her sister’s name once and she gets the point. _____________________________________________________________________ “One of the common failings among honorable people is a failure to appreciate how thoroughly dishonorable some other people can be, and how dangerous it is to trust them.” – Thomas Sowell | |||
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| Get busy living or get busy dying!  |
One of my buddies asked his wife where she wanted to go for dinner.... She said "I don't care" (what else?), so he proceeds to mention a few of his favorite places....... She rejects his choices and he calmly replies "Well, I guess you do care then". He is very smooth...... | |||
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Member |
Indeed. I've made that mistake only ONCE. Lover of the US Constitution Wile E. Coyote School of DIY Disaster | |||
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| Member |
Good lord that's funny. Lover of the US Constitution Wile E. Coyote School of DIY Disaster | |||
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| Member |
If it's clearly obvious and makes perfect sense, don't say it no matter the consequences for good or evil. Lover of the US Constitution Wile E. Coyote School of DIY Disaster | |||
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| Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie |
~Alan Acta Non Verba NRA Life Member (Patron) God, Family, Guns, Country Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan | |||
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Drug Dealer |
The warden went up to the cell of a woman about to be executed and asked her what she wanted for her last meal. "Mmmmmmm, I dunno. What were you thinking about?" True story. When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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| Drug Dealer |
Also, "I really like that little thing she does with her tongue". When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Topics You've Learned Through Age and with Wisdom to NEVER EVER ask the Opposite Sex.
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