Hang tough Lbj. Continued prayers brother.

Weeks, months , years, whatever the plan may be, I hope you find a way to keep them filled with all the good in this world.

You will see 2017, Tom.

Most of me really wants to let nature take it's course.

My family wants me to try another medication that does not have a good track record and is short term only.

I am torn here about what to do.
If was just me, I'd stop treatment.
Unfortunately is it isn't just me but my family.
I guess that because it isn't just me, that I have an obligation to my family to continue.

But that just is not sitting well with me right now.

Praying for you.

Philippians 4:6-7

God be with you and your family, lbj.

Tom,

This is a huge flyer, but have you looked into some of the experimental immunotherepy treatments they've been developing. I know Duke is big in this, but they'be been dealing with brain tumors. Might be worth some calls.

Edit:

If I found this quickly, I'm sure you've seen it. But just in case, I'll post it.

http://www.kidneycancer.org/kn...anced-kidney-cancer/

Well, that sucks. Sorry to hear the meds aren't working.

Prayers for you and your family.

Sounds right now like you need to get some rest. Yes, you can give up, but you know the arguments against it already.

LBJ,

I wish there were better words I could type to impart my sorrow for you being ill. Please accept my prayers for comfort and peace, Sir.

I am proud to see your strength in bearing this heavy news. I am not sure I could face your burden with such honor. God be with you, my friend.

My thoughts and prayers for you and your family after this news and especially for strength and peace of mind about your decisions for the future.

Sheesh. You are in my prayers sir.

It's not hard to face this in the sense it's here and in my face.
I mean, you just live until you aren't.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
I mean, you just live until you aren't.

Then, do that. Get some sleep. You'll have a better outlook afterwards.

So sorry to hear of your status...I can't imagine the choices you are struggling with. I hope you gain some strength and solace from the heartfelt encouragement and best wishes of everyone here.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
It's not hard to face this in the sense it's here and in my face.
I mean, you just live until you aren't.

That is not all you are doing though, making plans for your family, creating good memories and excitement, caring and worry for the people you love, and their future.

Your strength and honor are showing in what you post here, regardless if you realize it or not, we see it.

It would be easy, if faced with such heavy news to only concentrate on your illness, you are far away from only doing that. You are still at the helm of your family and leading them, as I suspect you always have and always will.

Bravo for you LBJ.

I'm rested alright, it's about what I do best.

I guess I was caught off guard because the Votrient has a good track record for most cases for a short term "few years".
That option of a few years has been taken off the table based on what I heard today.

I have some philosophic/religious issues playing out right now.
Is ceasing treatment suicide by another name?
Suicide is against everything I believe in.
I am not suicidal.
On the other hand, is continuing treatment interfering with God's plan for me.

There sure is a lot to think about and thinking can be hard work.
I am up for that challenge though, thinking is a good thing.

It's odd because about the time you think you have everything figured out, something else pops up and gets included in the equation.
The equation seems to evolve all on it's own.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
On the other hand, is continuing treatment interfering with God's plan for me.

It's as much interference as you wearing a seatbelt when you get in an automobile. God helps those who help themselves.

You are not thinking clearly right now, Tom.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:

On the other hand, is continuing treatment interfering with God's plan for me.

...

Not in my opinion. I don't believe it's ever wrong to fight to live, especially when so many who love you are fighting for you as well.

God bless, lbj.

quote:

Originally posted by matthew03:
That is not all you are doing though, making plans for your family, creating good memories and excitement, caring and worry for the people you love, and their future.

Your strength and honor are showing in what you post here, regardless if you realize it or not, we see it.

It would be easy, if faced with such heavy news to only concentrate on your illness, you are far away from only doing that. You are still at the helm of your family and leading them, as I suspect you always have and always will.

Bravo for you LBJ.

It was one thing when I first got the diagnosis and faced my imminent demise at that time.
The problem, if it is even really a problem, is that once I started treatment, I began to start thinking I might get better.
Then I find out I am getting worse, or well advancing, depending on one's point of view.

The ups and downs here are somewhat problematic.
Now I have to adapt to the ever changing flow of my illness.
It's probably no different for any of us in such a situation, and has been faced by others a gazillion times by the human race.

The good news is my family is taken care of in a financial sense, better than most. I cannot imagine how I would feel if they weren't.
In many ways, considering the illness I have, things are pretty decent in an overall big picture way.
I consider myself lucky for that.

I do enjoy posting about this as I think you all can see someone's thinking evolve over time in real time.
I am still evolving.

BTW, the cancer center called moments ago. It appears I will be getting infusions of something, maybe started next week.
There is just no way my family can accept me doing nothing. So there is my answer. That didn't take long, did it?
You can't stop evolution, it's a steamroller I tell ya.

I am off the Votrient as of today, so maybe I begin to taste food again. I'd like that.