Wow, please count me in. Thanks!

Thank you for another wonderful Karma.

Please Add me in!

True story. At one time I sold train tickets at Grand Central Terminal. A sharp looking Marine recruit in uniform asked for a train ticket to Albany, N.Y. ( Amtrak at the time). I asked "One way or round trip?" He answered "Yes" . Annoyed I asked "Yes what??" He snapped to attention and shouted "YES SIR!"

Not as funny as most but true nevertheless.

Nice! I like this watch.

This is the winning spot. Reserving this spot. I’ll come back later and add something funny.

I'm in.

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafhalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn when you discover half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

[Source - a newspaper contest challenging readers to alter a word by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and giving the new word a definition.]

Thanks for the chance!

In. Thanks, David.

It was so cold that I saw a chicken with a capon.

I was playing air drums to Rush in my car when I lost a stick out the window. I had to switch over to Def Leppard.

I like that Citizen too!
Please include me,

Bob

What do you call an Italian hooker?

A pastatute.

Thanks for the offer. Please put me in.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the Shell station.

Great watch! Please include me.

Thanks for another great karma! Please include me.

That Citizen looks sharp. Please include me in this karma, Dave, which is very thoughtful!

Here’s my contribution:

In the beginning was the plan.

And then came the assumptions.

And the assumptions were without form.

And the plan was without substance.

And darkness was upon the face of the workers.

And they spoke among themselves saying,

"It is a crock of s#%t and it stinketh."

And the workers went unto their supervisors and said,

"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."

And the supervisor went unto their managers and said,

"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

And the managers went unto their directors, saying,

"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."

And the directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another,

"It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong."

And the directors went unto the vice presidents, saying unto them,

"It promotes growth and is very powerful."

And the vice presidents went unto the president, saying unto him,

"The new plan will promote the growth and vigor of the company, with powerful effects."

And the president looked upon the plan and saw that it was good.

And the plan became policy.

This is how s#%t happens.

Hi, Dave, please include me.

Here’s a joke:

What’s the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?


Nobody ever paid 20 bucks to have a lentil on them.

Sorry...

Great looking watch. Thank you for the chance.
This meme has always made me laugh.

I'm in also, please.

Count me in please.

Worlds Shortest Fairytale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No." And the guy went fishing and hunting and rode motorcycles farted whenever he wanted and lived happily ever after.

The End. Thank you for your generosity.


Rick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOfLa5qdINM
Hope the language doesn't offend. thanks for the chance!

After 60...
"As I stand here in the kitchen, I realize my ability to name songs from the 70’s far exceeds my ability to remember why I’m here".

Count me in. Thanks